Chapter 1088. Reunion

The fog that shrouded the world behind Raoul and the others disappeared when the twins finally joined them. Orth and Thras didn’t utter a single word about their dream. The two idly stood a meter away from Raoul and gazed off into the horizon with vacant eyes.

Raoul didn’t dare ask what they saw. She knew how to keep to himself. How a single memory was enough to send one spiraling into despair. If he was smart, then she wouldn’t even acknowledge them.

Res gave him a scrutinizing look.

She was about to say something as she quietly drew a star in the air with her tail. Suddenly, just as her lips parted, and as Raoul’s mouth also began to unhinge, Joy approached the two with a vibrant smile.

“Malgam?”

The word meant a million different things. But her heartfelt expression could only be interpreted one way. It was a welcome granted by the only pure soul present. She wasn’t driven by an obligation to acknowledge them, or by a guilt that festered in her heart.

“It’s Joy.” (Orth).

“It’s her.” (Thras).

“She’s here.” (Orth).

“She is.” (Thras).

“Gam!”

She beamed when they noticed her. For a moment, Raoul saw the same, vibrant expression overlayed over the twins. There was a time when the twins welcomed her with the same vigor.

It weighed heavily in her heart.

The contrast returned memories she had once cherished, only to vault them away to remind herself of how easily the world robs people of their happiness. She blamed herself for what happened to the twins, to the others, family, friends, and never allowed her heart to swell like it once did.

Only now did she feel that ruthless sting in her chest. A part of her heart thawed. So strange was the sensation that she brought a hand to clasp her chest. She studied her hand, expecting to find blood.

“Do you need healing?” Orth approached her. Serum H was already filling the tubes along her clawed hand.

“Administering 5ml of Serum H. Cause: suspected internal chest injury. Time: unknown. Using the emergency clause for administration.” Thras hovered in front of her, her hollow eyes and voice failing to convey any sense of concern.

Yet, Raoul knew they’d be hurt if she refused. She offered her arm, and the two gracefully took it to administer the Serum.

What should I say? Thanks? That I’m fine? Will it be better to keep my mouth shut or say something?

Raoul pondered on her next course of action. It shouldn’t have been hard, but she found herself struggling to make a choice again. But, at the very least, she wasn’t trying to push them away anymore.

She was relieved they returned unharmed.

Res patted the heads of the twins, whilst Joy watched them administer their medicine in earnest. Acedia kept her eyes somewhere behind them. Raoul eventually took a seat. A long sigh left her lips, and she brought a knee close to her chest as her hair covered her eyes.

“Are you tired? Documenting minor side effect of Serum H.” Orth noticed and made a mental note.

“The site of administration is reddening. Unnatural. I assumed Raoul’s veins would be in the same place.” Thras noticed that they had missed a vein. This caused the site to slightly swell. “Does it hurt, Raoul?”

“Do what you have to do.”

Raoul would usually sigh or dismiss them entirely. But here, she kept her arm raised for them and let them come close to her.

“Reseating the needle…” (Orth).

“You’re pricking too many places. Her arm is going bleed.” (Thras).

“I can’t find the vein. Isn’t it usually here?” (Orth).

“Try there.” (Thras).

She didn’t mind becoming a human pincushion for them. Her arm became bruised and bloodied with each prick. Raoul’s body composition was completely different than her male counterpart’s. This went beyond the position of her veins. Blood pumped differently, and her skin was soft enough where a standard needle could easily puncture.

She had little to no visible vascularity. It was because of this that it was nearly impossible to find an artery, let alone a vein. No amount of palpitation could lead the twins to find it. Additionally, her blood pressure was nowhere near as high as her male body’s.

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Res patted the heads of the twins, whilst Joy watched them administer their medicine in earnest. Acedia kept her eyes somewhere behind them.

They’re becoming desperate…

Seeing the twins struggle caused the knife in her chest to twist further. Raoul took a seat. A long sigh left her lips, and she brought a knee close to her chest as her hair covered her eyes.

“Here.” She pointed at a spot on her forearm.

Suddenly, the twins froze, their eyes widening as though finally recognizing the damage they had done to her arm. Horror dawned on them as blood dribbled from her fingers.

“Raoul… did we hurt you?” Orth shuddered.

“We didn’t know where the veins were. Administering… Administering another 5ml of Serum H. Clause: administration error.” Thras was slightly more hardened as she gently took Raoul’s arm with rapt attention.

Raoul’s presence was all they needed. Seeing Raoul injured, no less by their own hands, was enough to return a semblance of their old selves back. But Raoul knew better than to believe they could ever return to the way they were. Act X had destroyed them, and now, the fate of the twins hinged on whether Frost could convince Act X to spare them.

“Must be nice to finally sit down than to run away forever.”

Res didn’t make it clear who she was talking to. Obviously, it was Raoul, but she never spared him a glance. The twins, however, offered Raoul everything they could. She wished they didn’t have to worry about her. And why did they need to worry about her in the first place?

Raoul was an Ex-Star of the Nexus. A mere needle wound was insignificant. Yet, the twins tended to her as though this was the last time they’d ever see Raoul.

… If I asked them why then they’d ask me the same question back. O’ Misery… Why did bonding with these two tear me apart so viciously? I wished I could have loved them, the same way I could have loved…

Her gaze lowered. Her eyes sealed shut, and she let her head roll forward. She was tired. Tired of thinking, and tired of acting. She had been running for so long that she had forgotten how simple it was to give in and do nothing at all.

And that was perhaps what she should have done at the start. What she

would

have done differently if she had the choice. Would it have changed anything?

Change. Change is the reason why my world collapsed. I couldn’t stop it. It killed me. I made it worse.

“Raoul. Are we hurting you again?” Orth gently cupped her face with a single hand.

Then, Thras seized the other side.

“Again and again? Healers aren’t supposed to hurt people.”

“This is a scratch. It’ll heal over with magic. Don’t concern yourself with me. You should be afraid of what Act X will try to do to you.”

The two shook their heads and then pointed at her chest.

“What about in there?”

Raoul chuckled. It was far from a dismissive laugh. The noise she made carried a raw part of her despair. The twins, despite their hollow appearance, knew Raoul was being eaten up from the inside.

“It’s been broken enough times to stop feeling.” She brought a hand to tap their heads, as a tail moved to gently stroke their ankles. “The hypocrisy of a Wandering Healer be damned. Black Wings are doing it. Don’t worry yourself over what’s normal.”

“Is it our fault?”

“Because we were hurt?”

Raoul would be lying if she said no. The crux of her pain came from what happened to people around her. But she was not blind to know that another large portion came from her absence. If she hadn’t left them alone or slaughtered countless after they became Wandering Healers, then they would not have been taken by Act X.

Her mind went back to Cer.

The wolf who couldn’t keep up with her, the small insignificant sister she wished to leave behind, grew legs long enough to catch up. And now, Raoul found herself stagnating behind that same wolf.

It wasn’t the same story for everyone. The twins were still lost, and she had severed her ties with Ara and her sisters.

If she had just stayed back to help them rather than wallow in misery…

It’s too late to delve into it. My only concern now is to keep them alive. Afterwards, I’ll be on that train with Oboros Infinitas. Or, if they decide to cut me off for good…

A fist clenched at Raoul’s chest, mimicking the action of stabbing oneself in the heart rather than soothing the pain.

She let the twins do what they wished with her. Res watched on with a face that seemed to read hers well. Acedia hummed to herself. She was also content with the way things were. Change was terrifying. But Raoul, at the very least, had taken several steps forward.

“Could that be Mother? She turned her dinner into a mount. As expected of the Amalgam.” Acedia was the first to notice the approaching figure in the distance.

It was no more than a black speck. It rapidly grew, and Res nodded, confirming that it was Frost.

“She brought Jury too! Still no sign of Cer. Oh, yes Nav? She’s waiting outside? Outside where?” Res spoke to the voice in her head. “Of course she’d be the only one exempted from this ordeal. That idiot managed to dismiss Elysia.”

She fondly smiled despite her harsh comment.

“Malgam!” Joy waved, bouncing in place as the wingbeats of the bird blew her hair back. “Juwy!?”

The bird swooped overhead, missing its land landing. However, a figure fell from the bird, and they landed like a starfish right in front of Joy’s feet. It was Jury, and she groveled with tears in her eyes.

“Joooooy~! I’m so sorry!” Jury sniffled. “Your momma was terrible! I hurt you so much!”

“Juwy… no. Good!” Joy shook her head.

“No good…” Jury buried her face further into the hole her head had made from the fall.

“Good!” Joy corrected by dropping to her knees. She had seen Frost do this whenever she gave her heart to hearts. “Juwy did nowthwing wrwong.”

Joy held no animosity towards Jury. She knew right away that the eyes Jury held were not the same as the monster from earlier. She didn’t say this outright, but Jury knew this, and tears only fell harder.

“You forgive me~? Oh Joy!” She swept the girl into her arms and then wrapped Joy further with the bulk of her tail.

“J-Juwy!?”

“Awwwwwwww! I loooove you Jooooy!”

She gave Joy the ‘Frost special’, which consisted of contracting a person in a suffocating embrace. The poor girl was left to Jury’s whims.

“Apologize to us too.” Res chuckled. “We knew you weren’t in the right state of mind. Isn’t it on brand to beat each other to near death when we lose ourselves?”

Jury nodded and patted Res’ head. “Sorry. Do you want a hug too?”

“If you’re offering.” Res hummed, and she was quickly brought into Jury’s arms as well.

Acedia was wary instead of envious, and she kept to herself as she watched them embrace. Finally, the bird landed, and it lowered its head to let Frost slide off.

“Caaaaw!”

“Good girl. Thanks for the ride.” She hugged its beak.