Zi Yue was thinking.
The Noble Consort is pregnant, so even the Emperor wonât easily punish her in the future. If she sets her sights on Zhaohua Pavilion and causes trouble, Iâm afraid the Emperor will turn a blind eye.
Xia Ruqing knocked on her head. "Silly girl! Of course, this is good news! The Noble Consort is favored, yet the Empress can still sit still. But with the Noble Consort pregnant, the Empress must be on pins and needles... Thereâs a saying: âWhen the snipe and the clam grapple, the fisherman benefits.â In other words, if they fight, Iâll be safe!"
Zi Yue thought for a long while before finally admitting with a pained expression, "Mistress, what you said makes sense! But... but we wonât gain any benefits from it!"
Xia Ruqing was somewhat surprised. "Living well without anyone bullying you, isnât that a benefit?" she mused. "Thatâs for the present. As for the long term, thatâs still far off. Letâs just focus on living well for now.
Human greed is like a snake swallowing an elephant. Havenât I already improved so much from when I first arrived? Greed and ambition are not the same thing.
"
Having said this, she continued, "I have neither family background nor contributions. If the Emperor were to promote me, I wouldnât be able to bear it! If someone were to impeach me, accusing me of bewitching the Emperor, and if the Emperor disregarded the rules for my sake... that would truly harm me! Things are good as they are now, arenât they? Life still has a long way to go, right? I will never let down those who are wholeheartedly devoted to me. And those who bully me, I will eventually pay them back! No need to hurry; letâs take our time!"
Zi Yue looked at her belly wistfully and sighed, "Alas, this servant only hopes that you have some ânewsâ soon, Mistress! When that happens, wouldnât you be able to get promoted for contributing to the birth of an heir to the throne?"
Xia Ruqing thought seriously for a moment, then slapped her forehead. "Now that you mention it, I had forgotten!"
Zi Yue hurriedly asked, "What did you forget, Mistress?"
Xia Ruqing pondered a bit and said, "I canât have children at this time! I can barely protect myself; how dare I have children?!
With my low status, a little favor makes others envious. If I had a child, wouldnât that make me an obvious target? Either someone would harm me and cause a miscarriage, or the Empress would take the child away, and then... they would separate the mother from the child. Damn it all! I canât get pregnant; I absolutely mustnât get pregnant at this time!
"
Zi Yue also gradually understood. "The Mistress is insightful; this servant was mistaken.
After all, your fortunes are not strong enough yet; even if good fortune comes your way, Mistress, you might not be able to enjoy it. Itâs better to build up your strength first.
"
Zi Yue continued, "Looking ahead, by this time next year, there will be another selection of beautiesâa new batch of fresh and tender ones entering the palace. Why not take this year to serve the Emperor more, to make the Emperor remember you? When the bond deepens in the future, and youâve regained your health, Mistress, and the palace has a prince, having children then wouldnât be so conspicuous."
Xia Ruqing nodded thoughtfully. "What you said makes sense. In short, I just... cannot get pregnant...
This body... After the new year, Iâll barely be seventeen. In modern times, Iâd still be a high school studentâCOUGH, COUGHâwhat a sin... Iâm still underage! Iâve taken care of myself these past few days, and while I donât get sick as easily, Iâm still frail. Why should I insist on risking my life to have children? With ancient medical conditions being so poor, what if I die again? And even if I survive, is the child sure to be healthy? If the child were sickly, that would truly be a sin, harming the child. Forget it, I wonât have children, at least not until Iâm past twenty.
Just wait another two or three years; by then, my health will certainly be restored, and it wonât be too late to have a child!"
"Exactly," Zi Yue chimed in. "By that time, both the Empress and the Noble Consort will likely have children, so it wonât be conspicuous."
In the most rule-bound noble families in the capital, once a primary heir is born, itâs common to have children born of concubines. Not to mention this is the Imperial family. If the Empress still cannot bear a child by then, it would be fortunate if the Emperor and Empress Dowager donât blame her. On what grounds could she forbid others from having children? Even now, with the Noble Consort pregnant, thereâs no reason to prevent others from bearing children.
After thinking it through, Xia Ruqing let out a long sigh of relief. She began to contemplate how to devise a way to get the Emperor to agree.
After all, as one of the Consorts, not wanting to bear a child for the Emperor is a sin! (Damn this wicked feudal society! What atrocious rules!)
ăIn Jiaofang Hall, at the Empressâs quarters.ă
It was during lunchtime that she received definitive news. Moreover, it was the Emperor who personally told her; indeed, the Emperor came to Jiaofang Hall for lunch.
In the past, she could always eat more heartily when accompanied by the Emperor. But now... this meal was probably the most tasteless one sheâd had since entering the palace.
Zhao Junyao chatted with her for a while. The gist of what he said was, "The Noble Consortâs pregnancy is good news. My heirs are few, and I value this child very much."
The Empress forced a smile, uglier than crying, and replied, "Rest assured, Your Majesty. Even Sister Shihâs child will call me âMother Empressâ!"
Those words truly stung. But what could she do? After being with the Emperor for so long, her womb remained stubbornly silent. Although the Emperor didnât speak of it, she minded it herself. Not having a lawful heir was indeed an issue.
After sending off the Emperor, the Empress locked herself in her room and wept bitterly! Yu Lan and Yu Fu, her two trusted Palace Maids, were so frightened that they knelt behind the curtains, not daring to get up.
It was a good while before the Empress stopped crying, and they dared to come forward to console her. "Your Majesty, things are as they are; you must take care of your health..."
The Empress washed her face, reapplied her makeup, and gradually regained her composure. With red-rimmed eyes, she said through clenched teeth, "Everyone in the palace knows the Noble Consortâs intentions. Sheâs the Emperorâs childhood sweetheart and favored by the Empress Dowager... If she were to give birth to the Crown Prince..."
Would I still have a place in this palace then? My father might be the Great General, but... I canât call the shots in the Harem. I ascended to my position as Empress by relying on my fatherâs and brotherâs military merits and the late Emperorâs consideration for the Fan Family. But who can I rely on for my daily life in the palace? The title of Empress sounds gloriously radiant, but who knows the bitterness it carries?
Yu Lan promptly stepped forward to console her, "Your Majesty, you are healthy and free of illness; this servant believes you will eventually conceive."
Yu Lan and Yu Fu, no matter how composed, were still Palace Maids; they didnât understand these matters and could only offer such consolation as best they could.
The Empress looked at them, lost in thought for a while, then suddenly instructed, "Next month, have Sister Ji come into the palace!"
âYes, Your Majesty,â Yu Lan and Yu Fu replied.
Sister Ji was the Empressâs Wetnurse Sister. She had fallen seriously ill in previous years and had been moved out of the palace. She had recovered and was supposed to return to serve. The Empress, considerate of her advanced age, had allowed her to rest at home for another year or so, continuing to provide her monthly allowance of Silver. But now... Faced with this situation, probably only Sister Ji could offer her some advice.
The Empress removed her makeup, intending to take a midday rest, but she tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep. Finally, she simply got up, deciding not to sleep at all.