Chapter 187: Understanding Erin Xavier

Zoe Pierce sniffed the air.

She could still smell the scent of bitter orange in the room. It wasn’t overpowering, yet it was distinct enough for her to notice.

It silently occupied the room.

She sat back against the clean bed, her gaze flicking toward the door.

’Erin Xavier wouldn’t just leave like that.’

Sure enough, a moment later, the door was pushed open by an arm.

It was Erin Xavier.

He had changed into a set of dark green pajamas, the same as Zoe Pierce’s—a short-sleeved shirt with knee-length shorts. He slowly closed the door.

Zoe Pierce tensed up instinctively.

Erin Xavier placed a hand on the door, not stepping forward immediately.

Instead, he stood where he was, looking at the woman leaning against the large, soft bed, and said in a low voice, "Zoe, can I stay here tonight?"

Zoe Pierce froze.

"What do you mean?"

Erin Xavier’s gaze fell on the Imperial Concubine Couch in the room. "If you’re really scared, I’ll sleep there."

’I can’t stand seeing her cry.’

’And I don’t want to scare her.’

Zoe Pierce’s shoulders relaxed, the movement especially noticeable under the light of the bedside lamp.

Her eyes swept over the Imperial Concubine Couch; it was large enough for a man to sleep on.

She got up, took a blanket and pillow set out of her Space Button, and placed it on the edge of the bed.

A flash of disappointment crossed Erin Xavier’s eyes, but he knew he was already getting away with a lot tonight. Trying to act cute now probably wouldn’t work.

He obediently took the blanket and pillow and placed them on the Imperial Concubine Couch.

With the rustle of fabric, Zoe Pierce lay down fully on the bed.

The dim, yellow light of the bedside lamp was switched off, plunging the entire room into darkness.

Even though she knew it was very late, Zoe Pierce had never found a night so difficult to get through. She couldn’t sleep at all.

It was even harder than the first night Chase Shaw had stayed in her room.

The scene from the living room and what had just happened on this very bed would surface in her mind the moment she closed her eyes.

And then there was the person on the Imperial Concubine Couch. Even though he wasn’t making a sound, his presence was so potent Zoe Pierce couldn’t ignore it.

After tossing and turning for a long time, she was still lying there, staring at the ceiling with her eyes wide open.

Erin Xavier had been listening to her movements. He glanced at the time—it was nearly 4 AM.

"Can’t sleep?" he asked, turning over to face the bed.

Zoe Pierce couldn’t pretend she was asleep. With one hand on the blanket and the other tucked under her cheek, she turned on her side as well. "Yeah..."

The distance between them was like a clear, uncrossable line.

Erin Xavier was silent for a few seconds. "Should I go to the guest room instead?"

’If my presence is keeping her from sleeping.’

The moment he offered to sleep on the Imperial Concubine Couch, Zoe Pierce had let her guard down around Erin Xavier.

After spending so much time with him, she had a general idea of his character. Erin Xavier was a proud person; since he had offered to sleep on the couch, he wouldn’t try anything out of line.

’Still, it’s hard to believe.’

’That Erin Xavier would act this way in front of me.’

She opened her mouth. "No, it’s fine."

"I’m just... a mess right now."

Erin Xavier hummed in response. "I’ll stay with you. Whatever you want to talk about, I’m here to listen."

In this moment, he was harmless and gentle again.

Zoe Pierce buried her face deeper into the pillow. She didn’t know what to say.

’Maybe I do want to understand Erin Xavier.’

’But tonight’s events have fried my brain, so I can’t even think of anything to ask right now.’

When Erin Xavier noticed Zoe Pierce’s silence, he decided to speak up himself. "What are you worried about, Zoe?"

’The turmoil in her heart must be about more than just the excitement of what happened.’

Zoe Pierce stared blankly, her eyes unable to find a place to rest. Finally, she just closed them. "Erin Xavier, don’t you think... this is... really wrong of me?"

"What’s wrong about it?"

Zoe Pierce replied, "After Chase Shaw... to be with you..."

Erin Xavier chuckled. "Are you feeling bad because you’re taking up my time, Zoe?"

’That’s obviously not it.’

Zoe Pierce couldn’t continue.

Erin Xavier had only been joking to lighten the mood, but as soon as Zoe Pierce spoke, he understood the knot of guilt she was wrestling with.

"You think it’s too fast, don’t you?"

He wasn’t joking this time, so Zoe Pierce could answer. "Yeah."

From Nathan Lockwood to him.

One person, one month.

How could feelings be reined in on a set schedule?

Her feelings for Nathan Lockwood had just begun to blossom when she was forced to "break up" and throw herself into the next relationship.

Just when she’d finally gotten used to being intimate with Chase Shaw, that too came to an abrupt end tonight.

With no transition whatsoever, she was now starting the next "relationship" with Erin Xavier.

"Are you upset about the breakup, or is it the guilt?" Erin Xavier had always been the devil-may-care type; he never thought he’d be the one serving up this kind of comforting pep talk for Zoe Pierce.

’Then again, it’s probably for the best. My perspective is hardly normal, anyway.’

’If it were Miles giving this pep talk, he’d probably be the one feeling uncomfortable.’

Zoe Pierce curled up, shrinking into herself. "Both."

’Or maybe, it’s more guilt.’

Because she knew this "breakup" wasn’t a real breakup. They were still teammates; they would still see each other.

She felt guilty, like she was some wicked woman, toying with their hearts and flitting between them. She hadn’t properly processed one relationship before starting the next.

Erin Xavier said, "If, at the end of this month, I get to hear that you’re upset about me too, that would be nice."

"Wouldn’t that mean I have a place in your heart, too? That my feelings aren’t unrequited?"

"Alright..." He chuckled softly. "What you should be thinking about is whether we can make you happy."

"Whoever doesn’t make you happy enough, just kick him to the curb."

Just like earlier, when he made her uncomfortable, she decisively stepped on his shoulder and told him to stop.

’Maybe, if she had more of a temper, she’d step right on my face to reject me.’

Thinking about it, Erin Xavier was surprised to realize he wouldn’t even be angry if she did that.

He sighed. "Zoe Pierce, you’re too soft-hearted."

"We’re all doing this willingly. Why are you worrying on our behalf?" he said, laughing at her.

’We were about to come to blows just to fight for this spot.’

’Weren’t we?’

"You’re just too good, that’s why every one of us wants you." ’I don’t know how many times I’ll have to say it before Zoe Pierce truly realizes.’

’She’s the one in control of all these relationships, not us.’

’But, if she doesn’t get it, I can tell her again and again.’

’She comes first. She’s the most important one.’

"If I were like you, those old geezers would have eaten me alive long ago," he said.

Zoe Pierce was suddenly reminded of Erin Xavier’s family background.

A half-brother.

It sounded even more complicated than her relationship with Damien Pierce.

She felt a sudden urge to talk. "Erin Xavier, when it comes to how I handled Damien Pierce, do you think I did a bad job?"

Erin Xavier lay back, his hands clasped behind his head. "Everyone’s different, Zoe Pierce. Even without your memories, I can tell you have feelings for Damien Pierce."

A scornful smile appeared on his face. "But I don’t have any of that for Sheldon Xavier."

"If I get the chance, I might actually kill him."

"It’s seriously aggravating to have an eyesore and a fucking idiot appear in front of you."

"Zoe Pierce, in a way, I guess I don’t really have a family either."