Chapter 862: Karah Togg [5]

’They’ve found me.’

I stared at my face reflected in the shattered mirror before me, each splintered piece showing a distorted sliver of my expression. Before I knew it, the mirror had cracked, leaving me to stare at nothing but broken fragments of myself.

The air was cold, and I felt a sense of heaviness press against my chest.

As if I was still being watched.

’...I knew that this was going to happen. It isn’t something that I expected. Taking everything that had happened with Evelyn not too long ago, I knew that this was coming.’

From this moment forth, I had to stop thinking about them.

The more I thought about them, the more I revealed to them.

From this moment forward...

I had to change into a completely different person.

"No, fuck that."

I didn’t want to become someone else. I was done pretending to be someone else. The last time was Lazarus, and the experience took quite a toll on me.

Things had yet to progress to the point where I needed to turn into a completely different person.

’Yeah, I’ll just not think about the situation for now. Focus all my attention on Noel, and I should be able to escape their sight.’

My past-self had also mentioned that I could hide my presence using the Source.

In that case, I planned on doing just that.

"Hoo."

Taking a deep breath, I pressed my hand over my shoulder.

At the same time I did, I used

[Outer Hand].

I felt an immediate reaction the moment I used the spell. In an instant, something cool washed over me as a thin white layer formed around my body. The cold air pressing in from every direction faded, and the heavy pressure lingering in the air slowly vanished.

I felt my mind cool as I finally opened my eyes again.

The mirror remained fractured, but I could see that I was faring a lot better than before.

’This should do for now.’

I felt a little exhausted, but this was a necessary step that I needed to take in order to avoid being targeted.

’Still, this is a temporary solution. There’s no way I can fully escape their grasp even if I do this. The only way would be to minimize my presence as much as possible.’

I now understand why Atlas, Noel, and every ’old’ monster pretended to be someone they weren’t, even changing their own thoughts in a way that fit the world.

Just how much dedication did that take?

"I’ll need to start thinking about my next steps."

Walking out of the bathroom, I saw Leon staring at me with a frown.

"What?"

"Did something break in there?"

"Yes, the Mirror."

"Hmm."

Leon’s brows furrowed further. He looked really troubled.

"What?"

"No, it’s nothing."

He shook his head and pretended that it was nothing, but the more he acted like this, the more curious I became.

"What is it? Spit it out."

"I said it’s nothing."

"No, say it."

"I told you no."

"It’s a command."

"Hai."

Leon sighed, eventually relenting.

"I was just thinking that it must’ve been a special mirror."

"What sort of—"

"It probably saw through your soul. That’s why it broke."

He looked at me seriously.

"Black. It’s really black."

I opened my lips, but soon closed them.

Eventually, I smiled.

"Looks like you’ve missed me a lot in the time that I wasn’t here. Come to think of it, there are a few jokes that I have been thinking of sharing. What do you say?"

"...Black."

Leon mumbled again, his face pale.

"Really black."

***

"This place looks like shit."

Kiera muttered while looking around her. She had been to shitty places in the past, but it had never been this bad.

"I’d much rather sleep outside than in this dump. Look...! Even the door has a hole in it. Some pervert might just come and peek."

"...Can just create a barrier, you know? It’s not that big of a deal."

Replying to her, Aoife took out the bedsheets and waved her hand, water emerging from her fingertips as she cleaned the bed. At the same time, she replaced the sheets with some of her own.

"Wha..."

Kiera looked at this with wide eyes as she looked at Evelyn.

"Do you see this shit?"

"...."

But all she got in response was Evelyn’s glance before she leaned back against her bed and closed her eyes.

"This girl..."

Kiera frowned, taking note of Evelyn’s change. Although Keira understood that what Evelyn had gone through was traumatic, her sudden and complete shift in personality still felt off to her.

"This is why you’ve always got to prepare yourself in advance."

Satisfied with what she did, Aoife patted her hands.

"I’ve slept outside quite a lot recently due to the war. I’ve learned from experience."

"So that’s what it is."

Kiera grumbled while leaning back on her bed.

Honestly, she hadn’t really cared much at first, but after seeing everything Aoife had done, Kiera became more self-aware of just how dirty the sheets and bed were. As the image formed in her mind, she began to wiggle around the bed before eventually cursing and sitting up.

"Fuck, you’ve ruined it for me."

Now she didn’t feel like sleeping at all.

"Damn it."

Standing up, she removed the bedsheets and looked at Aoife, nudging with her hand. Aoife sighed and obliged, cleaning the mattress for her.

Kiera watched all of this with a satisfied smile before sitting down on the bed and looking at the others.

"....."

Nobody talked.

Evelyn’s eyes were still closed, and Aoife was busy preparing other things.

Kiera watched all of this in silence as she used to recall the past.

’This just doesn’t feel right.’

It almost felt as though everyone had changed except her. They all acted so differently from how they used to act in the past, and it... just felt weird. As though they were moving ahead of her while leaving her behind.

No...

It wasn’t like this.

There was more to their changes that were bothering her.

’Rather than moving head, it feels like they’re moving back.’

"Agh, fuck."

Suddenly ruffling her hair in frustration, Aoife and Evelyn both looked at her in confusion.

"What’s wrong?"

"It’s nothing. It’s no..." Kiera’s words stopped abruptly as her hand, which had been raised to dismiss them, lowered. At the same time, she slowly bit her lips as she looked back at the two.

For the first time since entering the room, they were both looking at her.

"...I feel like the two of you have changed a lot."

She decided to come clean with her thoughts.

It felt so unlike her, and at the same time, she felt like cringing, but for some reason, she just felt like doing so.

"What are you talking about? Isn’t it obvious that we’ve both changed? People grow up. We’ve gone through a lot."

Aoife glanced at Evelyn, who remained quiet.

But the silence was enough to speak volumes.

"I know. I know."

Kiera’s leg tapped rapidly against the ground.

"I’m not saying that you’re wrong. Everyone has gone through a lot of shit, and as we grow, we all change. That... I do understand."

"Then...?"

"But it’s different."

Kiera ruffled her hair once more, mumbling something along the lines of, ’Fuck, why is it so hard to express shit? It’s fucking cringe.’ But eventually, she looked back at them. In particular, she looked at Evelyn.

"I feel like you’re forcing them."

Aoife’s brows shot up while Evelyn’s brows furrowed.

Before either of them could say a thing, Kiera continued, "I’m not denying what you’ve gone through. You already gave us a rundown, and while everything you went through does suck, at the end of the day, I have a feeling that you’re doing this out of self-protection rather than anything else."

Kiera held her palm forward.

She looked at it as the two remained silent.

"I’m sure that you two are now well aware of our situations. Evelyn in particular. We’re... not normal. We’re cursed."

The room stilled for a brief moment.

Almost as if something was trying to peer at them.

"...The more we grow and age, the more the curse will corrupt us. For now, Julien has managed to contain whatever this bullshit is, but for how long can he do that? This shit feeds on our emotions. Our instability. Our... everything."

Kiera’s palm trembled slightly.

As it did, she slowly raised her head to look at Evelyn.

"You’re suppressing yourself."

Evelyn’s face remained stoic.

"Not because you don’t feel, but because you’re trying to escape whatever pain that you’ve felt in the moment that you were alone. You probably don’t want to experience it again and shut yourself off. I... get it."

Kiera reached for her pocket, taking out an all too familiar cigarette before lighting it up and taking a puff.

*Puff*

She didn’t smoke a lot.

At least, not as much as she did in the past.

But from time to time, it was needed.

It helped her calm down.

...It had always been like this.

"I get why you’re doing this. I get why you don’t want to get hurt. But... that’s just not it."

Kiera looked at Evelyn while taking another drag.

*Puff*

"If you seal yourself off, you’re only escaping from potential pain. If what we know about this strange curse is true, and our minds grow progressively more irrational, then the best thing you can do isn’t to shut yourself down, but to embrace the pain."

Kiera suddenly closed her eyes.

Pitch-black darkness greeted her vision. In spite of this, within the darkness, it was almost as if she could see it. The smoke that lingered from the tip of her cigarette as she brought the cigarette to her lips and savored it.

At the same time, certain memories flashed into her mind.

Her aunt.

Her mother.

Her father.

And everything that had happened in her youth.

*Puff*

"...If you just run away from the pain, you’ll also run away from the growth it gives us. And it’s... fuck, I’m shivering.... and it’s this growth that we need more than ever, because we’re at a point where our minds need to be strong."

Kiera opened her eyes.

A pair of purple met hers.

"If you just hide, then nothing will come of the situation. Your mind will not be any different than before, and if anything similar happens, you’ll just break."

Kiera tapped her temple.

"You can’t break."

She looked at Aoife.

"Neither can you."

She paused.

"...And neither can I."

Flicking what remained of the cigarette, Kiera stood up while walking towards Evelyn. She stopped right before her bed while looking down on her.

"Oy, bitch."

And of course, she cursed.

"Wake the fuck up."

"....."

Evelyn remained silent, her purple eyes staring back at her in silence.

"Still pretending?"

Kiera raised her hand, ready to strike at her.

But just as she was about to strike down—

Evelyn’s lips parted.

"H-how?"

Her voice came out hoarse, her lips trembling slightly.

Clenching her chest, her lips trembled further.

"H-how... the fuck do I make this pain stop? H... how do I... even handle this? It’s too much. I don’t..."

After a pause, she added, "...Bitch."

And to that, Kiera smiled.

"I know."