Arc 5 | Chapter 209: How Things Went (Take Two)

Gods do not die.

Gods do not live.

They manipulate and wait.

They disappear, never to appear again.

To disappear a god—

Do not expect such acts of divinity to come without a cost

to come without a blessing.

~ anonymous graffiti in a long abandoned (and recently collapsed) building

✮ ✮ ✮ How Things Went (According to V) ✮ ✮ ✮

I could feel the world refusing to move properly, like something had dug its nails into time itself and was dragging it slower and slower. My muscles barely moved, but my mind refused to stop spinning, churning, twisting with worries and contemplations that really didn’t belong in a world so filled with death.

Death.

Death.

So much death.

Was Emilia dying now? Her body slowed to a standstill as someone ripped her heart out—not that it hadn’t already been ripped out.

I had felt it—fucking stars had I felt it, the moment Astra had died. Some part of Emilia had shattered with the reality that she may never see her little friend again. We’d talked about it briefly, during our last night together before the mission to the Ingogia estate, about how attached my friend, my decades long crush—my quickly growing love—had become to that little girl—to all the kids, but especially that one.

Of course, at the time, no one had bothered to tell me the kid wasn’t a local!

Really, I should be way more offended by that than I was, but then again, I wouldn’t have told anyone either. Plus, I knew full well that if Clarity had known the child was actually a visitor, they would have sent her along on that ill-conceived, manipulative mission as well, regardless of her physical age. If her brain had been fucked up by the heartcores… Emilia probably would have burned the entire fucking planet to the ground. What a thing to see. I quite liked the world these days—most days, anyways—but watching that woman scorch the planet?

Fuck, it was a good thing my body was frozen, else my cock would have been hardening. Just thinking about that beautiful disaster’s righteous, furious rage was enough to get me hot.

Besides, if Astra had been on that mission, who would have rescued me!? Probably that Conrad dude, after Emilia made him, if the kids were to be believed about how oddly devoted he was to her. They were probably to be believed.

My heart ached as well, for the child who had rescued me simply because my brain being destroyed would have saddened Emilia—the kids I had spent several days confined with, the pair of us sharing stories about how much we loved Emilia, Gale and Caro offering up their own stories occasionally as well, more sadness edging their words than mine or Astra’s.

I would see Emilia again—in a few months, if I had self-control, a few hours if I didn’t.

Astra could see her again—I’d given the girl both my own contact information and that of several Free Coloniers from our unit, in case she couldn’t contact anyone in Baalphoria directly. Apparently, Emilia had given Astra her contact information as well, but the girl had admitted that contacting us through someone from the Free Colonies might be easier.

Nothing had been said about whether Astra would actually contact either of us. That was probably for the best—the girl was a young teenager, and from what I’d heard and seen, her home life wasn’t great. The last thing she needed was to jump into some sort of pseudo-parental relationship with someone she barely knew, even if I knew Emilia—knew how she had effectively adopted so many of her friends into being more sibling than friend… not that she considered them

family

enough to think of sleeping with them as something gross or wrong.

Or did it just add an edge of taboo to it that she and some of her found family enjoyed?

It wasn’t the first time I’d had wondered about it—especially after hearing about that one incident with Malcolm and the clones—but unlike when I’d been younger, I might just ask her about it now. Maybe. If the timing was right.

Time, unfortunately, was still moving at a frozen pace from my perspective, and it was strange. Usually, when someone skewed time within a raid, the minds of those outside the skew didn’t notice—not unless it was some sort of torture skill, anyways.

This didn’t seem to be meant to torture us—as much as I really would have liked to put Gale and the leg that was in the midst of climbing to the next stair down, it wasn’t torturing me or anything. Time wasn’t adding up to be anything more than annoyance.

Instead, it seemed like something was wrong—something was interfering with the time skew, and when my body finally caught up to my mind, foot awkwardly slamming to the ground as Gale gasped and Key stumbled, pulling the still sobbing northern girl down with him, I was unsurprised to find several more people had joined our group.

✮ ✮ ✮ How Things Went (According to Caro) ✮ ✮ ✮

⸂Hello, sister.⸃

I didn’t quite glare at the thing inside Carne—there were a thousand things within and without telling me not to antagonize the thing who lived inside Gale’s brother’s body too much—but I still eyed him up, wondering why he bothered referring to Gale as

sister

when she’d made it super, super clear that she wasn’t his sister!

For a god—at least, I was pretty sure it was a god—Carne didn’t seem very bright, so maybe they just hadn’t noticed Gale didn’t like them? Although… hadn’t she told him as much when they’d met before? Maybe he didn’t remember? Sometimes there were times, back in Livery, where Carne would visit and be different—softer, quieter—and he wouldn’t remember things that had happened when he was like, well… this version of Carne. It went the other way, too! This Carne sometimes couldn’t remember things he’d definitely done, either. It might have only been things from when he’d been soft Carne? Like there was limited crossover between what one knew and the other?

I really wished I’d paid more attention back then.

Kinda.

Well…

Maybe not.

I was paying attention now, but it was more because I couldn’t

stop

paying attention. Everything burned and vibrated, and wasn’t exactly bad, just tiring. Luckily, Hyr—I think that was their name; we’d only been introduced the once and while they could hear me, it wasn’t like I could hear them back—was perfectly happy to let me nap in their arms! Plus! They’d started wrapping their energy around me, wiggling their bright gold strands into me and making me squirm. It was a good squirm, sliding through the burn of energy and too much detail until I was relaxed again.

Also! They kept stroking my hair. It was really nice! It reminded me a bit of my parents, when they had time for me, anyways. They… didn’t usually have time for me. That’s how I ended up spending so much time on the streets, running around and causing problems elsewhere so they could work.

It hadn’t surprised me when they told the Risen Guard to keep me, even if it hurt, just a little bit. Not that I could let anyone know that! My parents always hate it when I’m sad! They've always told me to be happy, not sad. Things will work out! Don’t burden yourself or others with your sadness!

I tried really hard to live that way, so they wouldn’t worry, but now…

I peeked through the {Blood Glass} again, taking in the world it showed me. Just like the last time, there was no world. There was no future.

There was only blackness, and a small light, glowing a colour I had no name for, calling for me.

✮ ✮ ✮ How Things Went (According to Gale) ✮ ✮ ✮

I was going to kill the bastard.

Out of all the things to say when we had the misfortune of meeting again for the second time in barely a week, he dared to call me

sister

again!?

I kicked. Pulled at V’s shirt, demanding he put me down. Unfortunately, while the visitor wasn’t nearly as tall or muscular as Boundary, he wasn’t any more likely to put me down than the Risen Guard had been.

⸂Calm down,⸃ the asshole said, his grip tightening when I turned my insults on him, even though I knew it was stupid—knew I was projecting my anger at Carne, my grief over Astra’s death onto him.

It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair.

I wanted to sob—to break down here on these stairs and wait for whatever had taken Astra to take me as well. That little girl… she had lied, yes, but she had been my friend! Like a little sister I’d never had, and yeah, we’d known each other for only like two weeks, but we’d barely been apart since meeting, only a few hours during those days we’d spent inside the Risen Guard compound.

Now, she was gone. Soon, Emilia and V would be gone. Maybe Emilia was already gone, dead under our feet. Maybe that why time had stopped being so weird—she was dead, and I’d never see her again.

⸂Have you calmed down now, dear sister?⸃ Carne asked when my yelling had stalled out under the weight of my grief.

I wanted to bite back at him again, but what was the point? I’d long accepted that Ash was gone, this thing having consumed my brother. There had been a bit of time there, when we’d learned about the heartcores, where I’d wondered if he was still inside Carne, held prisoner. Maybe he was, but it didn’t matter. Even if Ash was inside him, what was I supposed to do about it?

This thing didn’t even care enough to respect my wish to not be called its sister. Any relationship I could possibly have with an Ash held prisoner inside them… No, there was no point in even contemplating what sort of torturous world that would be.

No more fight left in me, I titled my head, staring blankly at Carne, willing him to leave me alone. Caro was behind him, still tucked into the arms of the other northerner. At least Caro was still alive, even if being here seemed like a death sentence for all of us.

They should have stayed away. Run off when they could. If anyone could make it, living on their own at such a young age, it was Caro.

Carne’s smile widened, and I knew he was going to say something else. He never got the chance, Key stepping between us and telling Carne to leave me alone, the entire group tensing.

✮ ✮ ✮ How Things Went (according to Key) ✮ ✮ ✮

So… this was a stupid idea. Even the Enclave knew of this guy—Carne. I might have never met him, but I knew of him, knew he was bad news. Considering all the secrets my family had kept from me, the fact that they’d bothered to tell me about

him

meant he must be just as bad—if not worse—than I’d heard… and I’d just stepped in between him and his sister—who knew Gale was this scary guy’s sister!?—and told him off.

Great. Just how I always wanted to die.

Carne’s eyes flicked to mine, Caro’s attention shifting from Carne to me and then back into the strange blood item I’d seen Emilia and her new ally using before we were kidnapped.

⸂You know he’s not dead, right?⸃

I blinked, wondering if the man was speaking to me. If he was, he was annoying. ⸂Who?⸃

⸂The corrupted member of your group. Mind ripped to shreds, pieced back together to create a monster. Your kind should kill before

his

influence gets to that point.⸃

Everyone frowned, shifted uneasily.

⸂Sk’lar?⸃ I guessed, uneasiness swirling in my stomach, making me thankful that I hadn’t eaten in over a day, even if that also meant I was quickly running low on energy.

Carne didn’t acknowledge me, only turned his eyes to V, telling the visitor that he shouldn’t have left

the corrupted one

with a blood item. ⸂Nigh unkillable, now. The building will collapse soon—consumed by spreading fire. Yet he will not die. A god, mortal and yet not, here on this plain, if he manages to escape, even more frightening than the one under our feet.⸃ The man’s head titled, something within him changing, for the barest of blinks, before shifting back. ⸂I cannot see his story. He may escape, he may burn for eternity. The entire future is… blurry, now that the thing beneath us has been pulled into existence.⸃

Behind him, Caro’s eyes followed the path of Carne’s, that blood item still held before his eye. ⸂If he does escape, he will not forget your family,⸃ the child added, voice distant and possessed, like it had been so often during our time running from Sk’lar together, before starting and holding the blood item up for the northerner—who had been having a quiet conversation with the rude northern teenager—to stare through.

They tensed before pushing their way through and hurrying down the stairs, only pausing to try and hand Caro off to me. The child refused to budge, their arms tightening around the quiet northerner’s neck.

⸂I want to stay with you, no matter what,⸃ the child said, something on the northerner’s face cracking.

⸂It will make no difference,⸃ Carne said. ⸂Their fate was all but set the moment they refused my company, all that matters is the how.⸃

The northerner glanced back at the man, frowned, and then hurried forward.

⸂What should we—⸃ I started to ask, not knowing whether we should follow the pair or not—whether we should go and help Emilia or leave, like she wanted of us.

⸂We wait. For now.⸃

Carne was a creep. Dangerous. Rude. Yet, his words were so sure—his connection to the universe so well known—that I could neither ignore them nor the

rightness

—the truth—of them, just like I couldn’t ignore the truth in his words about Sk’lar, my once friend.

Burning, dying, immortal because the blood weapon created by Astra’s destruction of so many lives during their prison break had been left behind—abandoned in favour of escaping from Sk’lar. Sweet, powerful Astra, who I would never see again.

Now… now, what? He’d come back for revenge? Because Emilia and the northerners had lit him on fire while fighting him? Because I had abandoned him and my family?

A long period of painful silence followed, V growing increasingly annoyed with the northern teen, who despite the other northerner’s attempts to talk with her, continued staring deadly into the universe. Then, the building shook, and Carne began to move.

⸂Now, we go,⸃ he said for so much surety it was intoxicating. The type of person who, if you let yourself get too close, would drag you into their atmosphere and never let you go. ⸂Except you,⸃ he added, pointing to the northern teenager, who had sunk to the ground to sniffle, like she wouldn’t be seeing her friends again once she left this world—like they were actually dead. ⸂You will be needed later. Do not leave.⸃ The man didn’t sneer at her, but he was clearly unimpressed with her dramatics. ⸂Watch her,⸃ he said to Gale, before vanishing down the stairs.

I was unimpressed with the girl as well, as I followed after the man to my potential real, irrevocable death, V trailing behind me while Gale remained, staring absently down at the northern teenager, anger and sadness clear in her eyes.