A red laser was pointing at me.
Why did he turn this on?
Blinking, I looked at the senior in front of me.
The senior, too, stared at me with wide eyes.
We stayed like that for a while.
Both of us frozen in place, unable to move. Standing upright in the forest that had fallen silent after I bloomed the sword flower, we simply stared at each other.
The beeping laser-pointer sound and the clear voice of the AI.
Only after the AI repeated the warning three times did Jonathan open his mouth.
âWhat is this?â
I opened my mouth, then closed it.
I had no idea what I was supposed to say.
Standing there speechless, I heard Jonathan press further.
âHildebert.â
âYes, sir.â
âWhy is this reader pointing at you?â
There was not a crack of space in his voice.
I could tell he had tensed his entire body. His tension stabbed sharply against my skin.
I exhaled a cloud of white breath.
There was no way a clumsy lie would work on this person.
Not only would I be made a fool, but... I didnât even want to lie to this man.
So I simply stood silently.
Then, in Jonathanâs trembling eyesâan understanding dawned.
And anger.
And denial of reality.
âDeny it.â
He growled the demand.
âDeny the result.â
âSenior.â
Looking at his burning eyes, I answered quietly.
âI am not in this organization with a false resolve.â
âThatâs not what Iâm asking.â
Jonathan jabbed the reader hard into my chest.
I neither moved nor changed my expression.
I simply blinked and stared at the furious senior.
Noâwas he in pain?
âI told you to deny this result.â
âIf it were in front of other seniors, I might have denied it however you wished.â
If this had happened in front of Jason Trevain or Dawson or Luciaâthose I wasnât particularly fond of. They hadnât given me any affection anyway.
But this person was different.
And I did not have the confidence that I could hide it forever. If I could have deceived everyone until the end, I would have lied easily.
Since it would be revealed eventually anyway, then rather...
The reader pressed even harder against my heart.
âDoes the leadership know?â
His voice was dangerously low.
âYes.â
âAnd the squad members?â
âOnly this squad knows the truth.â
I lowered the hand I had kept on my swordâs hilt.
âIt was the leadershipâs decision.â
âWhy would they make such a decision?â
âBecause I turned my back on the kin outside the Core.â
I murmured as I looked at Sebaâs ruined corpse.
âAs you saw.â
âWhere did you come from?â
Jonathan didnât spare Sebaâs body a single glance.
He didnât respond to my words, either. He didnât take his eyes off me. As if refusing even to blink, he glared, growling.
Muscles taut with violent emotion.
I let out a long breath.
âFrom outside the portal.â
âWhy?â
âI lost the home I lived in and came seeking a new one.â
Jonathan kept silent for a moment.
He studied me with an unreadable expression, then added:
âThe knights from back then.â
âYes?â
When âback thenâ?
For the first time, I lost track of the context. I had no idea what time he meant, nor why knights were suddenly being mentioned.
I tried to guess, but a sharp pain stabbed my chest.
The creature reader glowing red.
âWere you their leader?â
At the next question, I let out a bitter laugh.
And at the same time, I understood his earlier mutterings. Just as I had glimpsed a part of his past, he too had glimpsed a part of mine.
During that mission when we suddenly became close.
Laughing bitterly, I answered.
âYes.â
Puhk
I got hit.
I had expected it, but it still hurt. I flew in the direction of the blow and tumbled across the snowy ground.
A numbing pain and cold swept over my body. My vision flipped.
Tastes like blood.
Before I could spit out the blood filling my mouth, the next punch came.
Puhk!
Puk!
Puk!
The punches rained down.
It was a different kind of beating from Ricardoâs.
Ricardo had struck me with all his strength and then walked out of the infirmary. His fuse had blown for a moment and then come back.
But Jonathanâs fuse simply blew.
The violence didnât stop. It poured down endlessly. Just like the time he had lost his senses upon hearing Richard Greenâs words.
Coughing, I endured the storm of blows. Through the blurred vision, I saw his wedding ring gleaming. Jonathan was pounding me with the fist wearing his wedding ring.
A fitting reaction for a man who had lost everything and been destroyed by war.
If I kept this up, I really would dieâIâd better run sometime soon.
Thinking this, I curled my body and lay there.
His wedding ring slipped off and rolled away.
Iâll have to give that back later.
As I watched the blood-stained ring roll across the snow, a sharp voice pierced my ears.
âJonathan!â
Urgent footsteps.
The sound grew louder fast, then the violence suddenly stopped.
I slowly closed and opened my eyes.
Riq?
âTalk to me.â
The green-eyed senior seized Jonathanâs arm forcefully.
Through my blurred vision, I saw them approach. Far away, familiar figures were running toward us. Ami, pale as death, and Yun with his brow faintly furrowed.
Ricardo held tightly onto Jonathan, who was trying to shake off his grip.
Muttering something quietly, Ricardo dragged Jonathan to the opposite side from me.
Ami, her face completely drained of color, ran over and dropped to her knees in front of me.
âHilde.â
She murmured blankly, then reached out and pushed my hair behind my ear.
Her wide eyes were filled with shock.
âWhy... how... did all of this happen because Kudo hit you?â
âAmi.â
I gave a bitter laugh.
âIâm sorry. I stupidly forgot the existence of the reader.â
A strong hand grabbed my upper body and pulled.
My vision flipped. My body screamed from the rough handling. A low sound slipped out of me, but she showed no mercy.
I reached out quickly, picked up Jonathanâs ring, and was dragged along.
Yun propped me against a pine trunk.
The shooter knelt on one knee and examined my condition.
Ah.
âOne moment.â
Seeing him rummage /N_o_v_e_l_i_g_h_t/ through his pocket, I raised my palm urgently.
He arched one eyebrow, saying nothing.
I turned my head and spat out the blood in my mouth, then pleaded.
âI donât want to go through suction.â
âThen donât.â
Yun answered dryly.
What?
Wasnât he about to force it on me?
Blinking in confusion, I watched as the shooter took out first-aid instruments.
The urgency gone, I smiled faintly and received the treatment obediently.
Sniffle.
Huh?
âAmi?â
As I was receiving treatment quietly, I turned toward the soundâand saw a shocking sight.
âYouâre crying?â
Why?
Flustered, I looked at Amiâs face.
Ami sat crouched beside Yun with eyes reddened bright red.
Failing to suppress her tears, the senior mumbled while looking at my clothes.
âYou look like youâre in so much pain.â
âIâm fine. Are you crying because the wounds look painful?â
âI was shocked.â
Yun shot a sideways glance at his younger sister.
âDo you even know what you look like right now?â
âI really am fine, Ami. And Senior Kudo... didnât he lose his fuse once in front of Senior Richard too?â
I couldnât look away from Ami wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.
Why is she crying in such a heartbreaking way.
I checked my left hand for blood, then pushed her hair behind her ear again.
Ami sniffled and said:
âThat time Richard said something stupid first...â
âAnd now I got caught stupidly being a Titan.â
âAre you saying you just sat there getting punched like an idiot?â
Yun snapped with annoyance.
I blinked and turned my gaze to the shooter.
The senior kneeling on one knee, treating my wounds skillfully. A crease had formed between his neat brows. I stared at the folded brow.
âAre you angry?â
Instead of answering, Yun sighed.
I gave an awkward smile.
âSenior would have blocked the punches, right?â
âIâd have hit back.â
âI thought so. But Senior Kudo has every right to be angry. He lost someone precious in the war... You said it yourself last time. If Yehyeon or Ami had died in the war, you wouldnât have let me go.â
âSo youâre saying you just sat there getting beaten until you looked like this? Sometimes youâre just as hopeless as Yehyeon.â
The shooter grumbled and roughly rolled up my combat uniform sleeve.
I widened my eyes and looked at him.
This is the first time Iâve heard him complain about Yehyeon.
Does that mean Iâm inside his line now, or is he just so annoyed that heâs speaking without filtering?
But... doesnât he usually speak without filtering anyway?
After a brief thought, I gave a bitter smile.
I had shown an ugly sight, so I should apologize.
âIâm sorry.â
âYou donât look remorseful.â
âI truly am sorry for worrying everyone. And... well... thinking about punching Senior Kudo back in that situation is something only you could think of...â
âDo you think someone like Choi Ami would just sit there getting punched like you?â
âMe?â
Ami, her round eyes much calmer now, raised her voice.
Yun didnât reply and kept wrapping the bandages.
Maybe she wasnât expecting her brother to answer; Ami thought for a moment, then said:
âIf it were me, Iâd try my best to dodge and ask him to listen to me.â
Cute.
Very Ami-like behavior.
âBut Yehyeon-oppa would probably just sit there getting hit like Hilde...â
âIf I thought I was going to die, I wouldâve run, you know.â
âYou call that an excuse?â
Yun stood up swiftly.
The treatment was done.
Tilting my head, I looked up at the shooter lifting me, and smiled faintly.
Facing these two siblings always helped untangle the twisted pace inside me.
Not that the ache inside had gone away. Jonathanâs eyes full of hatred hurt far more than his fists.
His gaze had hurt more deeply than the blows he dealt.
But thanks to these siblings, I didnât lose my way in the maze of self-loathing.
Hiding both gratitude and guilt, I grinned.
The shooter didnât accept my cheeky gaze. Instead, as if my smile annoyed him, he frowned and grabbed me by the collar.
The man hauled me up roughly and slung my arm over the back of his neck with irritation.
âOppa! Be gentle! Hilde is a patient!â
Yun did not listen to Ami.
***
Ricardo walked out from the darkness after a long while.
He was alone.
Jonathan had probably returned to where Chen and Ro were.
Sitting by the firewood waiting for the Choi siblings who had gone to look for the other squad members, I smiled at the senior approaching with a troubled expression.
He approached quietly and stopped at my side.
Many emotions were contained in his green eyes, but I couldnât decipher them.
Hands thrust into his pockets, Ricardo simply looked down at me for a long while.
I looked up and waited for him to speak.
But since he didnât seem likely to start, I broke the silence with a faint smile.
âRic.â
I showed him the ring in my hand.
âPlease return this to Senior Kudo.â
Ricardoâs eyebrow curved inward.