I didnât want to hear it.
But I had to.
I pressed my lips into a straight line, averted my gaze, and nodded.
Maybe my thoughts were written all over my faceâYun scoffed, a cigarette already between his lips.
As I listened to the click of the lighter, I asked,
âUh... this isnât the kind of story minors shouldnât hear, is it?â
Yun looked at me like heâd just found something amusing.
Holding the cigarette between his fingers as smoke rose, he said lightly,
âAnd if it is?â
Ah!
I covered my face with my left handâthe one not holding the cigar.
Without lifting my head, I muttered,
âThen honestly, I donât really want to hear itâno, I do have to hear it, but... ah... if thatâs really the case, please, for the love ofâfilter it a bit....â
âYouâve been an adult for over a century. What is wrong with you?â
I shot him a resentful look.
Making me want to run back into that damn cabinâhe really was talented in all the worst ways.
I didnât feel like explaining, so I just glared sulkily.
The shooter stared at me with the cigarette in his mouth.
âNot that kind.â
World Tree, thank you.
âThatâs really a relief....â
âYouâre way too relieved.â
âThen how did you know?â
I changed the subject immediately.
Thankfully, Yun let it slide. He pretended not to notice my blatant deflection and blew out a long stream of smoke.
Cigarette smoke melting into the bluish air and vanishing.
âIt happened back when he was Ohara.â
â...So it was from that time.â
Meaning, when Yun and Jaeyeon were engaged....
Ignoring my withered stare, Yun continued.
âYouâve heard beforeâJaeyeon, while disguised as Ohara, liked me quite a bit. It was something that happened one day while I was more or less ignoring that.â
âThat in itself is impressive, but I wonât ask further.â
âI donât feel like explaining anyway. In any case, I donât know what he was thinking, but one day he said something strange. Maybe Oharaâs emotionsâliking meâhad gotten out of hand.â
I drew deeply on the cigar.
Dragging the harsh smoke all the way into my lungs made it feel like I could at least listen.
Regardless, the sociopathic shooter continued.
âHe suddenly told me he was going to tell me his Korean name.â
â...What?â
A Korean name, all of a sudden?
ââJaeyeonâ is, technically speaking, a Korean name.â
âOh. So he was trying to tell you that his real name was Jaeyeon.â
Thatâs... something.
Had he really loved him?
Noâwait. Thatâs not a method I can even apply.
I stared blankly at Yun, and he blew out smoke again.
âYeah. And he actually told me the name. Up until then, I didnât think much of it. Back then, neither Yehyeon nor I knew who Jaeyeon was or what heâd been doing.â
âAh. Right. I suppose so.â
âHe even wrote his name out in Chinese characters, and I still didnât think much of it.â
Chinese characters?
At my confusion, Yun gave a rough explanation about names and characters.
Once I grasped the gist, I nodded. It was easier to think of it as the meaning embedded in a name.
âThat was the problem.â
Huh?
âTo be precise, the meaning in the characters.â
âWas the meaning strange?â
âIt was a character meaning to reenact or attempt again something once done.â
â...What?â
âThat wasnât a name. It was a word. The Korean noun âJaeyeonââas in âto reenact.ââ
Only then did my jaw drop.
âJaeyeon. As in âto perform again.ââ
â...Did Jaeyeon not know that?â
âI donât know that much. Either way, when I pointed it out, he completely snapped.â
As he said that, Yun let out a short laugh while staring into the air.
It seemed recalling the memory amused him.
Being able to laugh while remembering a snapped Jaeyeonâwhat a man.
While I was marveling, Yun continued without looking at me.
âHave you ever seen his personality switch in front of you?â
âNo.â
âItâs worth seeing at least once in your life. The outside doesnât change at all, but it feels like someone hidden inside rips through Oharaâs skin and jumps out.â
The whole time he explained, Yun wore eyes fixed on the past, chuckling softly.
âAfter seeing that, I even got interested in psychiatry. A raving lunatic exploding right in front of you is fascinating.â
âDonât you think your train of thought is a bit... off?â
âDo you know what the point of this story is?â
I inhaled the cigar.
After exhaling the heavy smoke, I answered slowly,
âThat Jaeyeonâs name wasnât even truly his own.â
âRight. And thatâs his biggest complex.â
Yun bowed his head, laughing under his breath.
It was an oddly chilling laugh.
A normal person wouldnât be laughing while talking about this.
âItâs enough to make him break his persona and come out. Do you get it now? Poke the complex. Shake the emotions of the one heâs impersonating, and at the same time jab Jaeyeonâs complexâsomething might come out. If that thing really is Jaeyeon.â
âWhat happened after that?â
Back then, Yun wouldnât even have had an enhanced body.
How did he deal with a Jaeyeon so agitated he broke method acting?
âI fired anesthetic gas.â
Why would someone who wasnât even a soldier have anesthetic gas?
âAnd the next day, he vanished. The day after that, the war broke out.â
Ah.
So thatâs why Jaeyeon, as âOhara,â tried to pass the name Jaeyeon to Yun.
Because he knew the war would break out the next day.
Because he didnât know when theyâd meet again, he impulsively tried to give him his name.
Suddenly, Jaeyeonâs words came back to meâhow Ohara had been sincere.
There must not have been a single lie in that.
Even if Yun had been indifferent.
Good thing he was indifferent.
âThank you for the advice.â
I tapped the shortened cigar against my fingers.
âI should go back in now. I left Jack handling the attendance, and Iâve been out here quite a while.â
âAsk about dimensional transfer arrays too.â
Yun said, gray smoke slipping from between his lips.
âWhether itâs Jaeyeon or the Emperor, the fact doesnât change that thing crossed over through a portal in a strange way. There was a time gap, but like you, it came out of the portalâand unlike you, its memories are intact.â
A reasonable point.
I promised to ask when I found the chance and went back into the cabin.
The Emperor lifted his head from where he sat on the bed.
Kairos, who had been kneeling in front of him and speaking, turned around.
The handler who had been on the second floor rose at the Emperorâs permission and went down toward the entrance.
Even knowing that his father had died in the war against the Empire, being forced to ask him to attend the Emperor made my stomach ache.
As if he knew, Kairos gripped my shoulder tightly before leaving the cabin.
Milk, perched on his shoulder, wagged her tail and cried out.
âPyak!â
âSleep well.â
I gave Milk a light kiss.
âListen to your dad.â
âPik!â came the impudent reply.
I smiled and went back up to the second floor.
***
I cooked breakfast and set it out, only to get a comment from the Emperor.
ăKnights prioritize nutrition above all else in their meals.ă
I wasnât stupid enough not to understand that he was politely saying it didnât taste good.
As I was feeling down, a message came from Ami right on time.
If youâre short on food, contact me!
So I consulted Ami about lunch. The entire TF had the day off, and as far as I knew, Ricardo usually woke up late in the morning on his days off.
Worried he might still be asleep, I relied on Amiâs help for lunch.
[The hamburger you used to buy for Hilde!]
Hamburgers passed in terms of taste.
But he seemed to find the hamburger itself inconvenient to eat.
This is too hard.
Iâd rather do guard duty. The Emperor was, whatever else he was, an extremely sensitive person, while Iâd always been easygoing. I wasnât cut out for this kind of attendance.
But if I told Yoowâwho was just as sensitive as the Emperorâto do it, heâd go insane.
This time, irreversibly so.
Igor was even worse at this than I was....
And so, as soon as it passed two, I sent an SOS to the most attentive senior.
When I asked if he was up, a call came not long after.
A savior....
âHow are your knees~?â
That was the first /N_o_v_e_l_i_g_h_t/ thing the green-eyed senior said.
I smiled bitterly.
âTheyâre still okay.â
âCalling because of food~?â
âHow did you know?â
Ricardo just snorted.
Was my cooking really that hopeless?
Before I could even consider asking, Ricardo started asking what imperial food had been like.
I rolled my eyes and thought.
âWell, something like Lexic noodlesââ
âAre you serious?â
The coldness in his voice scared me.
I was serious.
Unable to answer honestly, I replied timidly,
âIâm joking.â
âThank god....â
Thatâs cruel.
But lacking the courage to say that, I just described other dishes.
There was bread, noodles, rice dishes.... What spices they used. What local foods they tasted similar to. Salami too.... What? How they made salami? I donât know that....
Do you really have to ask this much?
Questions kept flying that made me break out in a cold sweat.
Every time I gave a vague answer, the senior grew more frustrated.
âSorry, but... does the taste really change that much depending on the type of cheese? I only know that cheese goes in it....â
âYou really canât cook....â
After that, whether heâd given up on me or asked all he wanted, Ricardo let out a deep sigh and rattled off restaurant names.
That list helped immensely. When I brought back takeout for dinner, the Emperor had no comment.
I couldnât taste the food much myself, though.
I need to wrap this up quickly and go see the Ice Dragon.
Would two weeks be enough to sort things out? I had so many things to ask the Emperor, but Iâd decided to feel things out and ask one question per day.
But on the second day, I couldnât really ask anything.
ăYou talk in your sleep.ă
ăMy apologies.ă
ăWho is Adam?ă
I hated my mouth for muttering names in my sleep.
ăIs there a knight under your command with that name?ă
I vaguely said he was the son of a subordinate Iâd cherished and brushed the topic aside.
I was grateful he didnât press further.
Thank goodness I hadnât called out Kyleâs name.
As I brought him water, thinking I should look up how to stop talking in my sleep, four days passed like that.
***
Nothing much happened over those four days.
Despite how cramped the cabin was, the Emperor never once said he wanted to go out. He continued to find the toilet fascinating, the shower fascinating, and insisted that Teeg still looked like a bug.
Sometimes he would send me out and call Yoow and Deltei in.
They didnât need to report to me what was said, but whenever the Emperor dismissed them, Yoow and Deltei would come out of the cabin and approach me with uncomfortable expressions.
And regardless of my attempts to stop them, they would tell me there hadnât been anything in particular I needed to know.
I was truly grateful. They knew full well that saying even that much bordered on insubordination.
In Delteiâs case, she even apologized, biting her lip, for not being able to relay in detail what had been said inside.
âItâs really fine.â
âNo.... Iâll keep trying.â
Deltei said, gnawing at her lip.
âIf something important comes up, I willâdefinitely tell you.â
The turning point came on the night of the fourth day.
The Emperor, whose health was worse than mine, usually went to sleep before ten.
That night too, we were preparing for bed. I set water on the bedside table, adjusted the cabin temperature, and drew the curtains completely.
I also spread my blanket on the first floor to sleep.
And just as I was about to say Iâd turn off the lights, the Emperor called me.
He approached and told me to lift my head as I knelt before him.
ăTell me about the one who gave you orders.ă
I kept my expression calm.
ăAs Iâve said, he is the leader of the group with whom I have formed a temporary alliance. He is cautious in making decisions and prefers gradual movement over large-scale action. Other than that, there is nothing particularly noteworthy.ă
ăBlocking information and keeping me from leaving this placeâthat was his will, yes?ă
Ah.
ăAre you feeling stifled? I apologize for not noticing sooner. I will guide you outside tomorrow.ă
ăKnight-Captain.ă
The Emperor bent down.
With the hand that bore the mark of a ring, he seized my chin.
ăDo you know that standing in this position gives one the ability to sense things that are... unwelcome?ă
There was no emotion in his murmured voice.
But it was cold enough to make my throat tighten.
ăWhen you watch those who kneel before you for decades, you develop a certain discernment.ă
âYour Majesty?â
ăFor example, the difference in the eyes of one who entrusts decisions to another, and one who does not.ă
Clear sky-blue eyes pierced me.
Eyes whose depths were unreadable.
My former lord looked down at me as I failed to speak.
ăIn absolute loyalty, there is no burden of decision.ă
The hand gripping my chin tightened.
Ah.
ăYou are no longer my sword.ă
There would be no point in making excuses.