So it was a Q&A session.
Once I grasped the situation, my despair deepened.
Of all places, I had burst in here.
And of all times, this exact moment.
I opened my mouth and closed it again, still gripping Jaeyeonâs clothes.
The stares flying at me were so scorching that my rational judgment shut down for a moment. I couldnât tell whether I should bow my head and leave, or bend at the waist again and apologize. I honestly didnât know.
It felt like my skin was hurting from the gazes.
Clenching my grip on the hand twisted around the back of his neck, I thought how unbelievably lucky it was that Jaeyeon was in male form right now.
If heâd been female, what kind of misunderstanding would this have caused....
âHilde.â
Skaâs voice snapped me back to myself.
âNo problem, right?â
I straightened my back.
âYes. None at all.â
âThatâs good. Could you step outside for a moment?â
âYes. Iâm sorry. Iâll leave immediately.â
âNo, donât send him out, Aide. Itâll be easier if he answers himself.â
âWhy is there a civilian in here?â
Someone raised their voice.
Heads turned. I widened my eyes and looked at the face of the one who had spoken up.
A Badger Iâd never met was glaring at Jaeyeon and me.
She crossed her arms and twisted her eyebrows.
âDonât tell me he dragged a civilian in here?â
Huh?
That wasnât something Iâd even considered.
This wasnât a restricted zoneâwasnât it fine?
Seeing how offended the senior looked, I momentarily forgot that Iâd been planning to disappear from here with Jaeyeon.
She stared at Jaeyeon and me.
âHow much more trouble are you planning to cause?â
I could see the leadership, the Personnel Director, and the Badgers I liked opening their mouths to say something.
But Jaeyeon reacted first.
Jaeyeon snapped.
âHey!â
People flinched at the thunderous shout.
âWhat civilian are you talking about!â
âHuh?â
âFuck, these days some punk who doesnât even know what war is just flaps his mouth however he wants! Iâm a war veteran, you asshole! Donât you know there are war heroes among the Badgers who are on long-term leave right now?!â
What the hell is he talking about now.
I stared at Jaeyeon in a daze.
I watched him rage, then turned to look at the Badger who had pointed us out. She looked just as stunned as I felt after being hit with a one-word curse.
But the faces of the Badgers beside her hardened quickly.
Seeing Yehyeon sigh without correcting him, it didnât seem like Jaeyeon was making things up entirely.
Meaning there really were Badgers in a state of âlong-term medical leave.â
Well, Jaeyeon himself probably wasnât actually one of them.
Still, it was a convenient excuse. Anyone outside Personnel wouldnât even know how many Badgers were on extended leave....
âSome punk who wasnât even born during the First War!â
âHilde.â
Yehyeonâs cold voice cut through the noise and sharpened my mind.
I grabbed Jaeyeon firmly and pulled him toward me.
âYes, Commander.â
âTake care of your senior and go outside.â
âYes. Iâm sorry.â
âWait. Is that guy really a war hero?â
Gregory suddenly cut in.
He was someone better known as Samjin than by his given name.
It felt like it had been ages since Iâd last seen him. I didnât think Iâd run into him again after seeing him get beaten by Ro.
He frowned and turned to Yehyeon.
âHow can you be sure that thing isnât just another gray-hair parachute like him? Make him prove heâs a war hero.â
âWorthless trash.â
Jaeyeon shot back again.
âSure? Proof? Yeah, fine, Iâll prove it. But fuck, where were you? What was your last unit?â
âWhere was I?â
Samjin turned to Jaeyeon, clearly irritated.
âThere arenât many who fought in hotter zones than me.â
Then Gregory named a unit that probably no one but Jaeyeon cared about.
I watched, dumbfounded, as Jaeyeon went, âWhat?â in surprise, then followed up with, âYou were there too?â
And then, unbelievably, the two of them started enthusiastically trading stories about the sheer insanity of the First War.
Watching them suddenly fall into their own little world in a room packed with people was beyond absurd.
Thankfully, Yehyeon cut them off with a sigh.
He snapped his index finger and thumbâclack! clack!âand Jaeyeon and Gregory shut their mouths.
Yehyeon spoke in a tired voice.
âSave the small talk for later.â
Jaeyeon straightened his tilted posture.
Samjin crossed his arms with a look of satisfaction.
âSo he really is a war veteran.â
Unbelievable.
âSorry for the misunderstanding. Didnât know a comrade like that was on leave.â
Whenever I watched Gregory, I sometimes felt a strange, secondhand embarrassment.
Simply put, he made me cringe.
âIf weâd met during the war, we wouldâve gotten along great.â
This is hard to watch....
I should keep avoiding him as diligently as possible.
Anyway.
Where did things go wrong?
I couldnât even gather my scattered will to leave anymore.
Standing there, suddenly exhausted, I stared into empty space.
Was the mistake getting off Jaeyeon so easily earlier? Should I have kept him cuffed until I dragged him out of HQ?
Or was it a blunder to have dressed Jaeyeon while he was impersonating the Emperor?
I spent a long time thinking useless thoughts.
Then, sighing, I finally grabbed Jaeyeon properly.
But another question followed.
âSo youâre saying Taleb participated in the First War. Assuming everything youâve said is true.â
Heads turned.
Ah. A senior Iâd seen at the year-end hall before.
I knew his name and face, but nothing else about him.
His wrinkled brow was filled with suspicion.
âThen why did he only become a Black Badger a few years ago?â
The senior, looking at the leadership, was pointing at me.
âWhere was Taleb during that time? Fine, we can believe he fought in the First War if you tell us to. But why did he only show up now? None of this lines up.â
Ah.
Thatâs not something I can answer either.
I felt the blood drain from my face.
I pressed my lips into a straight line, resisting the urge to bite them, and looked at the questioner and the leadership.
Yehyeon and the aides remained astonishingly calm, despite the pointed question.
Only Personnel Director Ju tilted his head slightly.
Because he didnât know either, right.
The problem wasâI didnât know either....
âIf he had to become a Black Badger, shouldnât he have done so right after the First War ended? Like the war veteran senior next to you.â
âHildebert was missing continuously after the First War ended.â
Yehyeon answered in a husky voice.
âHe returned, so we recruited him as a Black Badger to put him back on the battlefield. Unlike before, now you need the Black Badger title to go outside the Core. And in reality, heâs contributing to the organization just as much as you are.â
âThen what was he doing before he appeared at HQ?â
âHe lost his memories of that period.â
Yehyeon replied without looking at me.
âItâs presumed to be a portal accident. When he first fell out of a portal, he remembered nothing but his own name.â
Protests erupted.
Voices of discontent burst out all at once. I stood there blankly, listening to the jeers pouring toward the leadership.
At this point, leaving would be nothing but telling them to go to hell.
Even if I left, Iâd have to answer that question first.
Many seniors expressed, through various gestures, how unbelievable they found that excuse.
Overlapping audio.
âIf he came out of a portal accident with brain damage, I could understand that.â
A brown-haired senior raised both palms upward as he shouted.
âBut Taleb doesnât have memory problems! Iâve heard of memory impairment, but Iâve never heard of someone losing their memories outright!â
âDo you really believe that? That his memories just vanished? Thereâs no excuse more convenient than that.â
âSo youâre saying you never questioned him and just believed him until now? You never even asked what heâd been doing for nearly fifty years after the First War ended?â
âPeople who went missing inside portals still remember that they went missing inside a portal. Isnât this excuse a little too convenient for a portal accident?â
âFifty years!â
âWhat were you doing?â
For the first time, someone spoke directly to me.
The murmuring stopped abruptly.
The stares flew back to me.
The one who had spoken didnât take his eyes off me.
âWhat were you doing after the First War ended?â
I donât remember.
I truly didnât remember.
But even if I told the truth, it wouldnât be accepted. And so, unable to answer, I pressed my lips into a straight line.
At that moment, a dry voice came from behind me.
Sasuâs voice.
âIf you were dying at the end of the First War, then someone mustâve shoved you into a portal.â
I turned my head and saw Yun standing beside Kairos, hands in his pockets.
Yun stared straight into my golden eyes.
âThereâs no way you walked into a portal on your own while you were dying.â
âThatâs true....â
âAnd how are we supposed to believe you were dying?â
Someone objected.
The one who answered was William Walker, standing ominously in the corner.
âIf thatâs the case, then who held down the leader of the humanoid Creatures during the First War?â
His deep voice carried undisguised disdain.
âIâm talking about the one with black curly hair. Itâs not like he spent the entire First War sprawled out at home. Other than Hildebert, who else could have held him back?â
âWho knows. Maybe he begged on his knees at the end and surrendered, then came back safely.â
âThen why would they kidnap Badgers and threaten to hand over Hildebert?â
Faced with the calm rebuttal, the Badger fell silent.
Another cut in.
âMaybe Hildebert won back then!â
Is that a compliment?
âHe won, but couldnât bring himself to cut off his head, so he skipped the finishing blow and ran into a portal by himself!â
âMy intelligence drops just listening to that.â
Yun grumbled.
âIs this why you came here? To spout this kind of nonsense?â
âNo, I meanâeven aside from that explanation, isnât it strange that he disappeared after the First War until recently, and on top of that has no memories at all?â
âAnd after Taleb returned, humanoid Creatures suddenly started appearing outside the Core one by one.â
A calm observation flowed toward me.
âDoesnât the sequence seem off? From the enemyâs perspective, it wouldâve been far more advantageous to move while Taleb was missing. Why did they only start moving after he came back?â
A reasonable question.
âIsnât the timing just a little too perfect?â
Voices poured in.
Some of the accusations were ridiculous, but many were doubts any Black Badger could reasonably have. That was what hurt. I even felt a guilt I didnât think I should feel.
It was obvious that the leadership was struggling because I couldnât remember.
This gap in my memory was amplifying other suspicions as well.
Those who had returned brainwashed may have lit the fire, but these unclear points were feeding it.
I stood there with a bitter feeling.
Even I could see how suspicious my amnesia looked.
But if that was the truth, there was no way to explain it further.
Even if I tried, it didnât seem like anyone would believe me....
Perhaps reaching the same conclusion, the leadership signaled me with their eyes to take Jaeyeon and leave.
I nodded faintly.
âDoes it even make sense to be dying on the battlefield and then pop out of a portal? There wouldnât be portal equipment on a battlefield.â
âSay something that at least sounds plausible if you want us to pretend to believe it.â
âAnd coming back that intact means he didnât fight with everything he had, doesnât it? Normally, when they fight all-out, the whites of their eyes burn and their skin scatters like ash.â
Ignoring the noise, I released the back of Jaeyeonâs neck and grabbed his wrist.
âLetâs go.â
âEven the claim that he was dying sounds fake. How does a human whoâs dying on the battlefield suddenly enter a portal?â
âAnd those guys recover like ghosts before they die. Absorbing something from corpses and all that.â
âI donât believe the portal accident at all.â
Dragging Jaeyeon, I turned my body toward the exit.
âTo begin with, where even is âinside a portalâ?â
Ah.
At that moment, something rolled out.
Like a transparent glass marble dropping onto a table, a memory slipped out just as naturally.
A memory marble rolling along.
From there, everything moved swiftly.
A wave of memory crashed over meâviolent, overwhelming. A torrent of century-old realization surged back, sweeping in fast.
Caught in it, I forgot to take another step.
I forgot what Iâd been doing.
How Iâd ended up here, what Iâd planned to do nextânone of it mattered.
Only the contents of that memory marble filled my mind. It felt as vivid as if it had happened yesterday. Kyle and I were sprawled on the ground, dying. Weâd felt Reiâs presence disappear, and we were waiting for death to come for us both.
Until footsteps approached....
The sound of boots drawing near.
âNo.â
It laughed, half-crying.
âYouâre going to leave me trapped in this hell and go live comfortably on your own?â
My vision flipped.
The shift came as my body was turned over. The sky vanished from my view, replaced by the ground.
My body being dragged backward.
âHilde!â
I remembered.
Now I remembered. Kyle rushing toward me, reaching out. We, stupidlyâso foolishlyâhad stabbed our swords into each otherâs bodies, and in our final moments struggled to clasp hands.
I tried to avoid being dragged away from Kyle.
Kyle tried to grab me as I was being dragged.
And we actually managed to âȘ NĐŸvĐ”lŃgÒ»t âȘ (Official version) grab each otherâs hands.
I remembered not letting go of that single clasped hand until the very end. Until the moment it dropped my body into the portal pit it had prepared, we were bound together like a chain, clinging to each other.
Squeezing out the last of our strength.
So that, at least in death, we could return to the good old days....
...Who started the regression first?
Iâd probably never know.
I didnât want to know.
What I remembered was that, right up until I was swallowed by the portal, I was regressing with Kyle.
And that Iâd fallen into the portal like a sack of cargo.
Unable to meet death.
Once again leaving someone outside the portal, and once again being forced inside by anotherâs will....
BOOOOM!
âAaagh!â
âWhat was that?!â
âSo it was you.â
A distant, brain-scorching rage seized my mind.
I hurled Jaeyeon into the wall, then stepped in before he could recover, grabbing him by the collar and whispering,
âSo you were the one who saved me.â
Uncontrollable fury swept through my body.