But being alone all the time, itās always a bit lonely.
However, later on, immersed in that loneliness, Jane Sampson grew accustomed to it.
Once she got used to being alone, on the contrary, she found it hard to adjust to suddenly having another person in her life, in her world.
She began to enjoy the world of solitude, to like living alone, undisturbed, where no one could easily come and go. "Iām sorry." The solitude in her voice that night inexplicably hurt James Black, who also began to feel guilty, "Iāll come home to be with you whenever Iām free."
"James Black, youāve misunderstood again," Janeās voice was somewhat crisp and cold, "Iām not bringing this up to blame you for anything; I just want to tell you that I can live very well on my own."
James Black felt a sudden throb in his temple.
"If one day, you find me annoying, on that day, you must tell me clearly, Jane Sampson, Iām sick of you, you canāt get annoyed with me in secret." Jane reached out and tugged at his sleeve, "I wonāt cling to you. If that day comes, even if we get divorced, I wonāt cling to you."
After she finished speaking, she closed her eyes again, then shifted her body and moved out of James Blackās arms, demarcating her own invisible boundary within the double bed, just as she would at home.
It took a long time for James Black to recover from her words, and by this time, he realized that the space in his arms was somehow empty; the person who had been lying there was now quietly lying next to him.
On that side, as well as on his, it was as if a clear line had been drawn.
James Black frowned.
He did not like this version of Jane Sampson at all.
He liked the Jane Sampson who in the mountain village would recklessly throw sand at him then charge over with a giggle, bumping into him, pushing him back several steps, and then stand before him with crossed arms, triumphantly laughing out loud.
James Black always felt as if there was something clogging his heart center; her words now frightened him more than when she had angrily talked about divorce.
"Jane Sampson," he called.
James Black forcefully pulled her back into his arms and then held her tightly, "Divorce is impossible, donāt even think about it."
"What if one day you find another woman you like?" Jane asked James Black very seriously.
"That will not happen."
James Blackās answer was resolute.
"I wonāt fall for someone else. I am loyal to my marriage, just as I am loyal to my country," James Black said, with emphasis on every word, "nor will I grow tired of you, because you are my wife."
Jane softly laughed, a laugh that neither James Black nor even she knew what she was laughing at.
"Donāt laugh!"
Janeās inexplicable laughter suddenly made James Blackās heart feel panicked.
"Not even allowed to laugh? What are you, an overlord?" Jane couldnāt help laughing, her laughter growing louder and louder...
But the laughter stopped abruptly.
...stopped abruptly under the unexpected kiss from James Black.
"Heh, Jane Sampson, your kissing technique is really poor."
After releasing Jane, James Black added that comment.
"James Black!" A mix of embarrassment and rage surged through Jane, and she grabbed a pillow, covering James Blackās face with it, "Donāt you say that!"
Sheās the one at a disadvantage yet he has the nerve to complain!
What a jerk!
So infuriating!