When was it?
Or, rather, how much time had passed since then?
I don't quite remember. It was such a long time ago, and a memory Iād rather not recall.
A memory buried deep within my heart, one Iād prefer to let fade or even erase entirely.
And yet, some memories refuse to be forgotten. In fact, the more painful the memory, the more vividly it stays.
This was one of those memories for me.
I had grown accustomed to the unique stench of the Demonic Realm, and the crimson moon that rose had started to feel as commonplace as an everyday lamp.
It was when I got up late at night, as usual, to take my turn for the night watch.
With each passing day, the number of survivors dwindled, and the shifts had become thoroughly scrambled.
Whoosh.
As the darkness thickened, I lit a small flame to clear my vision.
My energy was as feeble as a ratās tail, so it barely illuminated my surroundings, and it wasnāt enough to keep me warm, butā
I figured it was better than nothing, so I kept it lit.
Flickā
Suddenly, a breeze blew out the flame with a quiet puff.
[ā¦]
I looked at the extinguished flame with a frown, then glanced to my left.
[What are you doing? Do you want to die?]
I let my irritation boil over. That breeze hadnāt been natural; it had been created with energy.
The person who put out my flame was staring at me with her usual cold gaze.
[And Iām certain I warned you not to light any fires carelessly.]
Her voice was icy, and I clicked my tongue in response.
[How am I supposed to keep watch if I canāt see anything? Something needs to be visible for me to keep guard, donāt you think?]
[If you canāt see anything, then donāt bother trying. If you canāt see even this, you wonāt see anything else anyway.]
Her resolute tone made me frown deeply.
[Could you be any more irritating?]
[Iām just stating the facts. Itās better than monsters being drawn to your flame.]
She spoke bluntly and then pulled her long golden hair back, tying it up. The brief glimpse of her pale neck was enough to catch the eyes of many men, butā
I looked away instead.
Her words sank deeper than her beauty.
[So basically, since Iām weak, I should just crawl around carefully. Is that what youāre saying?]
I saw her shoulders tremble slightly at my words.
[Thatās not exactly what I meantā¦.]
[Oh, isnāt it? Doesnāt matter; itās not the first time Iāve heard it.]
By now, I wasnāt even offended by such words.
After all, there wasnāt much left of my pride to breakāit was already ground down to dust.
Well, maybe there was a tiny piece left.
[People like you, who have it all, wouldnāt understand.]
Maybe thatās why I ended up blurting that out without thinking.
[You wouldnāt understand what itās like for someone like me, scraping by at the bottom.]
[ā¦]
Golden eyes turned toward me, laced with irritation.
I couldnāt understand why sheād be annoyed by such a remark.
She was a genius, standing tall in place of the āFive Dragons and Three Peaks.ā That was her title now.
What could possibly be so annoying about praise for her talent?
I couldnāt fathom it.
[And what makes you think you know me well enough to say that?]
She sounded disgruntled, but I remained nonchalant.
[Do you know me so well that you can say something like that?]
[ā¦]
With that, the womanāLittle Sword Starābit her lip.
Seeing that, I sighed.
This was a pointless argument.
Especially arguing with people who had it allāit was pointless and tiresome.
No matter what was said, we wouldnāt understand each other. Why waste my energy on such an aggravating conversation?
As I shook my head, she suddenly spoke up with a question.
[Why are you always so dissatisfied?]
[What?]
[If you go through life with that attitude, does it make you feel better?]
[This girl... You trying to lecture me now? My parents didnāt do that, so why should you?]
Yeah, thatās right.
My parents didnāt raise me, and thatās why I turned out this way. I swallowed those words back.
[For someone so remarkable, youāreā]
[Iām not remarkable at all.]
[Are you kidding me?]
She carried around every lofty title and honor, and yet she claimed she wasnāt remarkable. What kind of nonsense was that?
And yetā
[ā¦Iām really not remarkable.]
Little Sword Star spoke in a voice heavy with fatigue.
I still didnāt understand her, butā
[Fine. Youāre not remarkable.]
I decided to let it go.
If she wanted to believe she wasnāt exceptional, what more could I say?
I just hoped the time would pass quickly.
The night watch itself was irritating, but standing here with Little Sword Star made it even worse.
The one who had been on watch before us had become monster feed, leaving us paired up like this.
We could barely stand each other, and now we were forced to be together.
Damn Seolbong. She must have known and did this on purpose.
Seolbong was in charge of assigning watch shifts, and she knew I found Little Sword Star uncomfortable, so she probably set this up intentionally.
She was always someone I couldnāt stand.
Anyway, this setup had gone on for about seven weeks now. Today, there seemed to be more conversation than usual.
Not that it was peacefulājust as sharp and barbed as before.
After a few more rounds of bickering, silence settled in.
I found the quiet comforting, so I started counting the rocks on the ground.
Then, out of nowhere, Little Sword Star asked me a strange question.
[Whatās your goal?]
[ā¦What?]
I couldnāt help but frown. What was she talking about?
The question came out of nowhere. My goal?
[What the hell are you on about?]
[I was just curious if someone like you had a goal.]
[Why are you trying to pick a fight? Are you actually insane?]
It was ridiculous. Like getting smacked while staring at a rock.
A goal? A goalā¦
[ā¦]
I thought about it, but nothing came to mind.
I wasnāt living with any particular purpose.
I didnāt care about life itself, so why would I have a goal?
I just existed, breathing and going through the motions. Thinking about it just soured my mood.
With a sullen expression, I glanced at Little Sword Star.
[What about you? Do you have a goal?]
[ā¦]
She averted her gaze.
[Whatās that? You donāt have one either? Just like me.]
I smirked, and she snapped her head toward me with blazing eyes, clearly offended at being compared to me.
[I⦠I do⦠have oneā¦.]
Despite her fierce expression, her voice was surprisingly meek.
There was a hint of embarrassment mixed in.
[Oh, really? What is it?]
I wasnāt actually interested, but I asked anyway. It wasnāt like I needed to know her goal.
[ā¦]
She hesitated for a while without answering.
What kind of grand goal could she possibly have that sheād be this reluctant to say?
Was it to become the Martial Alliance Leader or perhaps the strongest in the world?
If that was her goal, itād be a challenging one.
I figured, well, someone as skilled as her could have such ambitions.
After waiting for her response, Little Sword Star finally whispered in a small voice.
[ā¦Mother.]
[What?]
It was so quiet I didnāt catch it. Leaning in, I asked her to repeat herself.
[ā¦A motherā¦.]
With a slight flush in her ears, she answered me.
A mother?
[ā¦]
I made a strange face and took a step back.
[What�]
A mother, out of nowhere? What did that even mean?
Did I mishear her?
[ā¦Mother?]
[ā¦]
Just to make sure, I asked again, but from her reaction, it seemed I hadnāt misheard.
Seeing my expression, Little Sword Star, now embarrassed, grew defensive.
[ā¦Whyā¦? Is that strange?]
[Well, isnāt it? Youāre saying your goal is to be a mother, out of the blue.]
[ā¦A mother is a noble goal. How can you not understand that?]
[Maybe because I donāt have one. I really donāt get it.]
[ā¦]
My blunt, self-deprecating remark made Little Sword Star clamp her mouth shut. It wasnāt meant to push her buttons.
[But why that, of all things?]
With so many impressive goals out there, why did she choose āa motherā?
It was the most incomprehensible answer Iād ever heard.
[ā¦Itās not necessarily my only goal.]
[You literally just said it was.]
[I just mean I dream of a normal life.]
[Huh?]
A normal life?
[Meeting someone, falling in love, getting married, having children⦠Living together, arguing sometimes, reconciling⦠growing old together.]
Listening to her, I felt a strange dryness in my mouth.
[Then just do it. Whatās stopping you?]
It didnāt seem like such a lofty goal that she needed to set it as an ambition.
She wasnāt aiming to become an unbeatable master or a leader of a great family.
Little Sword Starās simple desire to live like an ordinary woman felt strangely difficult to grasp.
It was something she could do at any time, so why call it a goal?
Maybe sensing my thoughts, Little Sword Star smiled bitterly.
[Yes. It really is a simple thing.]
Despite saying that, I heard her quiet, murmured words.
āThat simple thing is so hardā¦.
With that, she fell silent.
And I didnāt ask anything more.
It felt as if the night had grown darker, and I followed her into that silence.
That night eventually came to an end.
But oddly enough, the memory of that night refused to leave my mind.
Why was that conversation so unforgettable?
If I had to search for a reasonā
Perhaps it was because that was the moment I unknowingly began to hold her in my gaze.
The reason I started to follow Little Sword Star⦠Was it because it was fascinating that such an extraordinary woman had such an ordinary goal?
Or was it the sadness in her eyes as she spoke those words?
Even now, Iām still not sure.
By the time I realized it, it had already happened.
Perhaps it was around this time that a goal had begun to form within me, too.
A goal I never shared with anyone, one I didnāt even recognize until my death.
The irony isā¦
Neither of us ever achieved our goals in our previous lives.
Not mine, and not hers.
******************
Was it just my imagination?
No, it wasnāt. It couldnāt be.
Little Sword Starās gaze was clearly directed at me.
Amongst all these demons, why was she looking at me?
I kept checking, hoping it was just a coincidence, but her golden eyes remained fixed on me, unwavering.
As I continued to stare back, slightly shakenā
Thump.
āā¦!ā
A strange vibration pulsed within my body.
I clutched my chest.
āWhat⦠is this?ā
Thump⦠thump.
The vibration didnāt stop, continuously resonating within my chest.
The sensation grew stronger, and I swallowed hard.
āā¦This feeling.ā
The vibration within my bodyā¦
I felt like I understood what it was.
Immediately, I shifted my gaze back to Little Sword Star.
She was still watching me, her expression just as surprised as mine must have been.
It seemed that she, too, was feeling something similar.
With that thought, I clenched my fist.
āDamn it.ā
Thump. Thump.
The resonance kept growing.
No, this wasnāt just a vibration.
It was resonance.
The same energy was resonating between us.
Realizing this, my mind began to race.
How had I not anticipated this?
āā¦What nonsense. How could I have expected this?ā
It was an energy I could barely even sense myself.
Whether it was still contained within me or had faded away was something I couldnāt even confirm.
Yet here it was, resonating with Little Sword Star above.
āThe Divine Swordā¦.ā
This was undoubtedly the energy I had encountered in her in this lifetime.
The energy of hers that my mother had once imbued into me.
Now, it was resonating with Little Sword Star up there.
That must be why she was looking at me with that expression.
It was an oversight.
āI didnāt see this coming.ā
I hadnāt expected the energies to resonate with each other.
With
Nine Flame Wheels
, Iād anticipated that Dokgo Jun would sense my inherent power, butā
āā¦Even this?ā
I truly hadnāt expected Little Sword Star to sense this.
The problem wasā
āI canāt hide it.ā
I didnāt know how to handle the Divine Swordās energy, so I couldnāt conceal it even if I wanted to.
Because of thatā¦
Thump thump thump-!
The resonance between us intensified.
The vibrations reached my head, and I was beginning to feel a bit nauseous.
āā¦Bringing even her here⦠they must be prepared for war.ā
Dokgo Junās voice reached me as he looked at Little Sword Star.
āSeems itās you lot who want bloodshed, not me. Am I wrong?ā
There was a sharper edge in his voice, a sense of killing intent far stronger than before.
It felt like he was ready to annihilate everyone here.
Yet the Heavenly Lord, still with his hands behind his back, continued to speak calmly to Dokgo Jun.
āAs Iāve said, we came here to negotiate.ā
āIf you keep spouting nonsense, Iāll rip out your tongue right here and now.ā
Crrrack.
The ground beneath Dokgo Junās feet cracked, and a shallow flame rose from the split earth.
āThis works out perfectly. Since that incompetent woman is here, I might as well kill both of you on the spot.ā
Heās bluffing.
There was no real intent to kill; he was probably thinking hard about how to drive them off.
Thumpā¦
āUrgh.ā
The resonance from my core intensified. At that moment, I felt someone place a hand on my back.
My internal energy circulated, easing the resonance, if only slightly.
I looked over in surprise and found that Little Sword Star had approached and was now touching my back.
She looked at me and asked,
āā¦Are you⦠alright?ā
āā¦Thank you.ā
I was genuinely startled. I couldnāt help but look at her with surprise.
She despised touching others, so why was she doing this now?
Although her help brought me some relief, I couldnāt help feeling bewildered.
As I struggled to regain my composure with Little Sword Starās aidā
Ssshhā
Little Sword Star began descending from the sky.
āā¦ā
Seeing her up close, I could tell for sure.
It really was the same person from back then.
A woman with a beauty that even rivaled Little Sword Starās, adorned with radiant golden hair and an exotic aura.
She looked far more mature than the Wi Seol-ah I met after my return, her presence exuding an aura of solemnity and refinement.
āā¦Dokgo Jun.ā
Having softly landed on the ground, Little Sword Star addressed him.
Dokgo Jun snarled and flared his aura in response.
āSeems like you donāt value your life, showing up here on your own.ā
āā¦We donāt seek a fight.ā
āDragging this much power along and claiming you donāt want a fight? You canāt honestly expect me to believe that.ā
āā¦ā
āWhy donāt you just admit you want war? Then Iāll be happy to oblige.ā
āā¦As the Heavenly Lord said, weāre here to negotiateā¦.ā
Boom!
Before Little Sword Star could finish, a massive flame burst from Dokgo Jun, directed straight at her.
One of her swords, floating in mid-air, shot toward the flames and extinguished them, just as before.
It seemed the purging power of her Pa-ma could counteract the demonic fire.
As Little Sword Star furrowed her brows at the sudden attack, Dokgo Jun sneered at her.
āYouāre still deluding yourself, arenāt you?ā
The flames on his body flared up even brighter.
āDo you truly think you can resolve this with words?ā
In response to Dokgo Junās actions, the demons around him immediately unleashed their demonic energy.
āI thought Iād burned away any naive dreams from your mind, but it seems theyāre still lingering.ā
āā¦Dokgo Jun.ā
Little Sword Star bit her lip.
Even so, I could sense her gaze flitting over to me occasionally.
āIf you desire something, why donāt you try taking it from usā¦?ā
āā¦Iāll return
Thunder Fang
to you.ā
Dokgo Jun froze at Little Sword Starās words, and I did too, though for a different reason.
āThunder Fangā¦?ā
I glanced at Little Sword Star upon hearing those words.
Little Sword Starās displeasure was written clearly across her face.
Judging by her expression, it seemed Thunder Fang was indeed with them.
āBut⦠what does that even mean?ā
I could feel my heart racing.
The reason beingā
In my memories, š”ļø
Thunder Fang
had never once left Little Sword Starās hand.
___________________
TL Notes:
Thunder Fang" is the English translation for "ėģ" (Noe-a), which combines "ė" (Noe, meaning "thunder") and "ģ" (A, meaning "fang" or "tooth").