I woke up feeling refreshed in a way that was completely foreign to my usual existence. Instead of my normal "barely survived another night of existence" feeling, my body actually felt... good. Functional. Not like a collection of spare parts held together by teenage angst and caffeine addiction.
Today, I felt like someone had rebooted me with better hardware and a stable internet connection.
No existential lag. No "did I sleep on my neck again?" pain. Just smooth operating system vibes.
This was what it felt like to have a body that actually worked properly. Who knew?
This must be what athletes feel like after a protein shake and eight hours of sleep in a cryogenic chamber. My body didnât feel like a jenga tower of anxiety and poor life choices anymoreâit felt functional. Efficient. Like I was
meant
to be in it. Wild.
But despite my sudden peak-human status, I still needed a shower. Last nightâs eventsâboth the supernatural metamorphosis and the toe-curling, physics-defying activities with Madisonâhad left enough biological evidence to qualify my bed as a war crime. I was one step away from smelling like a cologne sample booth at a Comic-Con that ran out of AC.
I dragged my reawakened body to the bathroom, stripped down, and stepped into the shower. The hot water hit my skin, and I could immediately feel the difference in my body. Even as regular Peter Carter, I was noticeably improved from those +2 stat bonuses.
Holy shit, I actually had some muscle definition now. Nothing crazy, but I didnât look like a scarecrow who learned to walk anymore.
I ran my hands over my torso, and there was actual substance there. My shoulders looked broader, my arms had visible shape, and my stomach... well, it didnât bounce back when I poked it. I still had my body, but it had been optimizedâ Peter Carter 2.0. Less "please pick last for dodgeball," more "he might know how to change a tire
and
program a drone."
The water didnât just wash away sweat and sinâit felt like it was baptizing me in HD. I ran my hands over my chest and actually
felt
things. Like muscle. Real, solid muscle. I wasnât jacked, but for once, I didnât resemble a poorly drawn anime side character.
Even my face felt different when I washed it. Sharper somehow, more defined. My jawline had some actual structure instead of just being "the place where my neck ends," and my cheekbones were visible without special lighting and creative camera angles. There was symmetry where before there was just... unfortunate coincidence.
I went from "maybe cute if you squint" to "actually kind of handsome." The system didnât mess around with its upgrades.
I rinsed off, wrapped a towel around my waist like some Roman demigod of freshly-discovered hotness, and opened the bathroom door...
I rinsed off, wrapped a towel around my waist like some Roman demigod of freshly-discovered hotness, and opened the bathroom door...
...and walked directly into Sarah.
Perfect timing, Peter. Nothing said "Iâm definitely not hiding anything" like looking suspiciously better after staying out all night.
Of course. The Universe wouldnât just let me strut out of the bathroom feeling like a Greek statue without immediately testing me with a social boss battle.
Sarah stood there mid-step, probably on her way to claim the bathroom, and the second she saw me, her brain short-circuited like an overheating gaming rig. Her expression flickered through seventeen different emotions: confusion, surprise, suspicion, judgment, andâyepâa bit of that "did my brother just get attractive?" horror.
Sarah, unlike our drama-vortex sister Emma, was sharp. Observant. She read books with titles like
Microexpressions & Manipulation: How to Catch a Liar Before They Blink
. You couldnât sneak a bag of chips past her, let alone a full-body upgrade.
She was also annoyingly pretty in that effortless way that some girls just managed naturally. Long brown hair that always looked perfect without trying, green eyes that missed nothing, and the kind of bone structure that made you wonder if good genetics were just randomly distributed or if some people were actually favored by cosmic forces.
Right now, those green eyes were studying me like I was a particularly interesting case study.
"Peter?" she said slowly, her eyes scanning me like I was a riddle in a Sudoku puzzle. "Did you... do something different?"
The ancient phrase. The civilianâs first reaction to a superheroâs glow-up. The polite way of asking, "Did puberty finally deliver the goods after ghosting you for fifteen years?"
"Just took a shower," I replied, attempting to sound chill and not like a guy who was currently glowing with residual cosmic sex magic. "You know. Revolutionary concept. Water, soap, hygiene."
She narrowed her eyes, folding her arms. "No, itâs not that. You look... better. Did you start working out? Change your skincare? Get a haircut? Whatâs going on?"
I was seconds away from being waterboarded with questions. Sarahâs tone had shifted from "curious sibling" to "concerned FBI agent." And I didnât have a script for this. The system didnât exactly provide a guide titled
How to Gaslight Your Siblings Into Thinking You Didnât Get Sexually Optimized by the Universe
.
"Iâve just been sleeping better," I said. True-ish. Passing out post-transformation technically qualified as sleep. "And maybe Iâve been eating better. You know. Greens. Protein. Soul-reshaping metamorphosis."
She kept staring. "Well, whatever youâre doing... keep it up. You actually lookâ" she hesitated like the words physically hurt her, "âgood."
Compliment from Sarah. Achievement unlocked.
"Thanks," I muttered, brushing past her. But as I walked down the hall toward my room, I could feel her gaze drilling holes into my back.
She mumbled something under her breathâprobably the prelude to a detailed psychological profile. I decided I didnât want to know.
Note to self: Be less obviously upgraded around family. Avoid full Clark Kent-to-Superman reveals without the glasses.
*
"System," I said, "show me how I can earn more SP. I assume there are other ways besides missions?"
Back in my room, I threw open my closet and immediately ran into the next crisis of the day: my clothes didnât fit right. My shirts were tight across the shoulders, my jeans clung like desperate exes, and even my boxers were suddenly unsure of their job description.
I needed a whole new wardrobe.
Problem? Spending thousands on clothes out of nowhere was a
huge
red flag. Especially when my family
definitely
knew I had about $48.49 to my name before last night.
Could I afford it now? Absolutely. I had $10,000 worth of system points chilling like unclaimed Fortnite V-Bucks. But explaining a sudden cash injection was harder than explaining NFTs to boomers.
Still, it might be fun to shop with Madison. She
did
offer to help with the whole transformation gig before i left her house, and if anyone knew how to style a man who just unlocked sex-based magic powers, it was her. Plus, watching her judge every outfit I tried on sounded equal parts terrifying and hot.
I sat down at my desk and summoned the interface with a thought.
"System, show me my current stats."
A transparent blue window opened in front of me like some futuristic HUD from a JRPG. It even
pinged
like a well-behaved notification.
[HOST STATUS â PETER CARTER]Current Form: Base Peter CarterSystem Points: 100 SPPhysical Stats:
Strength: 8/10
Agility: 8/10
Charm: 5/10
Intelligence: 15/10
Stamina: 8/10
Charisma: 5/10
Available Transformations: Dark Lord Mode (Unlimited Use)Current Mission: None Active
Not bad for a guy who couldnât do a push-up three days ago.
"System," I said, "show me how I can earn more SP. I assume there are other ways besides missions?"