Chapter 38: My Main Character Moment

So now another item had been added to my increasingly fucked-up to-do list: liberate Isabella Rodriguez, my hot AP Biology teacher who apparently hasn’t had a proper orgasm since Taylor Swift was still country. But that’s definitely a Dark Peter problem, not a regular Peter problem.

I seriously need to come up with a better name for my enhanced form. "Dark Peter" sounds like I’m cosplaying as some emo Batman knockoff.

For now, I’m trying to focus on my classes and pretend I’m not mentally cataloging the sexual frustration levels of the entire teaching staff. But my brain keeps drifting to Madison, and the fact that I haven’t seen her anywhere today.

She’s in a different section, so we usually only cross paths during History and Computer Science, but she’s been MIA from both. Did she just skip school entirely?

’Oh shit. I didn’t even text her this morning.’

The realization smacked me like a brick to the skull. Did I already fuck up one of the basic rules of having a girlfriend? Am I supposed to send good morning texts like some kind of romantic alarm clock? This is my first time dealing with actual relationship shit instead of just jerking off to fantasies about it.

’Outstanding work, Peter. You’ve had a girlfriend for less than twenty-four hours and you’re already bombing at basic boyfriend duties.’

I pulled out my phone and stared at the blank message screen, trying to figure out what the hell I was supposed to say that doesn’t sound completely brain-dead.

Me:

Hey.

I hit send, then immediately wanted to throw my phone into traffic.

’"Hey"? That’s it? Am I texting my fucking sisters or the girl who let me lose my virginity last night?’

Her response popped up almost instantly:

Maddie:

Really? Hey? After everything that happened yesterday 😂😂 you’re either the most unromantic boyfriend ever or the cutest disaster. I can literally see your face turning red right now.

She’s not wrong. My face feels like it’s radiating enough heat to power a small city.’

Me:

What, are you stalking me in real time? 😂

Maddie:

Check your window.

’What the fuck does that mean?’

I looked up from my phone and turned toward the classroom windows, and there she was. Madison Torres, standing outside like some kind of gorgeous stalker, looking directly at me through the glass with a smile that could probably cause multiple car accidents. She was holding her phone up, clearly texting me while maintaining perfect eye contact.

’My girlfriend is literally spying on me from outside the building while we have a text conversation. This is either peak romance or mildly psychotic.’

She blew me a kiss through the window with the confidence of someone who’s never been told no in her entire life, then disappeared around the corner like some kind of beautiful ghost.

’Is this real life, Peter Carter? You actually have a girlfriend who skips class to watch you through windows and sends flying kisses like we’re in some Netflix teen drama? You lucky motherf*cking bastard’

*

By lunch, the rumors about Madison and me had apparently evolved from "interesting gossip" to "breaking news that requires immediate analysis by every person with functioning eyeballs." The cafeteria was buzzing with that electric energy that only happens when drama’s about to go nuclear.

’Nothing like becoming the main character in everyone else’s entertainment to make you miss being completely invisible.’

Tommy, Connor, and I grabbed our usual table in what I like to call the "social reject zone"—that blessed corner where nerds, weirdos, and kids who brought lunch from home can eat without navigating the complex political landscape of the main seating area.

"Bro," Connor said, practically vibrating with excitement as he unwrapped what looked like a sandwich constructed entirely from processed chemicals and bad decisions, "people are absolutely losing their shit over you and Madison Torres. My DMs are exploding with people begging for inside info."

’Of course Connor’s treating my love life like content for his wannabe influencer empire. Kid’s got fewer followers than a canceled celebrity’s apology tour, but he still thinks he’s the next MrBeast.’

"Maybe because literally nothing else happens in this intellectual wasteland we call education," I muttered, attacking my cafeteria pizza like it personally offended me.

Tommy had that detective look again—the one that means he’s trying to solve a puzzle with missing pieces. "Pete, real talk—what’s your endgame here? Because hooking up with Madison Torres isn’t exactly a low-key move. You just painted a target on your back for every dude who’s ever fantasized about her."

’If only you knew the endgame involves supernatural sex powers and a cosmic point system, Tommy.’

"Maybe I don’t have an endgame," I told him, which was probably one of the few most honest things I’d said all week. "Maybe shit just happens sometimes."

"Shit doesn’t ’just happen’ with girls like Madison Torres," Connor jumped in, clearly disappointed I wasn’t feeding him more dramatic content. "She’s strategic about everything. If she’s with you, there’s a fucking reason."

’The reason being I’ve got supernatural dick game and abilities that would make porn stars weep with envy, but sure, let’s call it strategy.’

That was when the entire cafeteria energy shifted like someone just changed the channel on reality. Conversations cut off mid-sentence, heads swiveled, and you could practically feel the collective "oh shit" ripple through the room.

Madison Torres had entered the building.

’She’s walking straight toward our loser table like she owns the place. Which, considering her family probably has more money than this entire school district, she basically does.’

She looked like she’d stepped out of a magazine about "How to Make Everyone Feel Poor and Ugly." Some perfectly fitted designer outfit that probably costs more than my mom’s car payment, hair styled in that "I woke up perfect" way that definitely required professional intervention, and she was moving with the kind of confidence that comes from never having to check price tags.

’My girlfriend looks like what happens when genetic perfection meets unlimited resources. She’s giving main character energy so hard it’s making everyone else look like background NPCs.’

But the most insane part wasn’t how perfect she looked—it’s that she’s bee-lining straight for our table of social rejects instead of her usual throne in popular girl territory.

’Holy fuck. Knowing her, Madison Torres is about to publicly claim me in front of half the school.’

She reached our table and completely ignored Tommy and Connor like they’re furniture. Her entire focus locked on me, and there’s something possessive in her expression that makes my heart try to escape through my throat.