Chapter 380: Slap Me With Those Knockers

Her breasts had completely swallowed his face now, two enormous mounds of warm softness pressing down with such weight that she could feel his features indenting against her skin.

At first she had thought it would be quick, some ridiculous perverted ritual he’d insist on for a moment before moving on. But it had gone on for a while now.

She could feel him breathing hot against her flesh, every exhale puffing ticklish warmth across her sensitive skin, sending little shivers dancing through her chest.

The sensation made her squirm. She, who was usually so brash and shameless with her words, now found herself trembling with embarrassment.

This was the most intimate thing she had ever done with a man, pressing her bare breasts over his face, feeling him sink into her, feeling his breath and his heat right against the most sensitive part of her body.

Bold words and pride had gotten her this far, but now her nerves tangled up, making her chest tight.

She thought he’d say something. Surely he’d mutter some stupid compliment, whisper some shameless line about heaven and paradise, or even groan about how soft she was.

Anything would have calmed her nerves. But the moment her breasts smothered his face, he went completely silent.

No words. No movement. Nothing.

Her heart began to race.

She bit her lip, glancing down anxiously. He lay still, eyes closed, sunk deep into her cleavage, not making a sound.

Minutes ticked by, and her stomach twisted.

Was he...enjoying himself so much he forgot to speak? Or...

A terrifying thought seized her.

Her eyes went wide. Her tail rattled nervously against the dirt as she whispered, then shouted,

"H-hey! Hey, you—! Are you dead?! Don’t tell me you died! Please don’t tell me you died!"

Her voice cracked with panic.

"I don’t want a reputation as the girl who killed a man with her boobs! Do you hear me? That’s not something I can explain to Grandma! She’d kill me twice over if I told her, ’Yes Grandma, I smothered a man to death with my breasts!’"

Her mind spun faster, recalling her grandmother’s odd lessons about life and death.

"Wait, wait, that old story...Grandma always said when a person dies, their soul rises straight up from their head and floats to heaven...but right now..." She looked down at her chest, swallowing hard. "Right now my breasts are right over your head. If you died, your soul might...nghh, it might go inside one of my boobs instead!"

She gasped, mortified. "No, no, no, I don’t want that! I don’t want a man’s soul stuck in my breasts forever! What if it haunts my bra?!"

And just when her panic reached its peak, Cassius beneath her moved.

"I wouldn’t mind that at all." He murmured into her flesh. "If my soul has to go somewhere, better your breasts than heaven. Being stuffed inside your bra for eternity? That’s not punishment, that’s paradise."

Her whole body jolted, her face burning hotter than ever.

"Sh-shut up! You idiot!" She cried, slapping her palms against the ground in fluster. "That’s so embarrassing to say! You’d be nothing but a perverted ghost! I-I can’t even—!"

She glared down at him, her blush almost glowing.

"And why the hell were you silent for so long?! I thought you were dead! Do you know how scared I was?!"

He cracked one eye open, looking at her with a mixture of apology and mischief.

"Sorry, sorry." He said, muffled as her breasts still covered his mouth. "I just...didn’t want to spoil it. I wanted to experience this fully. No interruptions. Just me and these two clouds on my face."

"C-Clouds?!" She sputtered, her hands flying to her cheeks.

"Yes." He sighed blissfully, shutting his eyes again. "Even before I reach heaven, I feel like I’m already there. Two heavenly clouds pressing me down...ahhh, perfection..."

Her tail slammed against the dirt in mortification.

"Shut up! That doesn’t make any sense! You’re, ugh, you’re unbelievable!"

Still, her chest heaved, her blush spreading as the heat of his praise sank into her, leaving her trembling.

Finally, she pouted and huffed. "That’s enough. You’ve had plenty of time with my breasts. More than enough! You’ve been buried there so long, I bet even heaven’s tired of waiting. You should be able to die without regrets now." She started to lift her chest, pulling back hesitantly. "I’m pulling out before you really do suffocate under there."

But before she could free him, his hands shot up in a panic, gripping her arms with surprising strength. His muffled voice cracked with desperation.

"Stop! Stop, stop, stop, wait!"

She froze, startled. "Wh-What?! What now?!"

His eyes opened wide, gleaming with panic even as his face remained mashed into her cleavage.

"Before you pull away, I want you to do me one more favor!"

Her suspicion spiked instantly. Narrowing her golden eyes, she asked. "What...What kind of favor?"

"Before you take them away..." His tone was both solemn and absurd. "...slap me with them. Right across the face. Swing those beauties and let me feel one proper breast slap before I die."

Her whole body locked up, her face exploding red.

"W-WHAT?!" She shrieked, nearly choking on her own voice. "You—you absolute pervert! Who asks for something like that?! Who even thinks of something like that?!"

"I do." He said simply, giving her a thumbs-up while still submerged. "One good slap. That’s all I need. I can handle it."

She gawked at him, horrified. "Handle it?! Do you realize how big these are?! If I actually slap you with them, I could break your neck! I might actually kill you this time!"

"No. I’m not that weak." He shook his head, utterly unfazed. "Sure, if you slapped me a dozen times in this state, maybe I’d die...but one? Just one? I can take it. I promise."

She groaned loudly, clutching her head with both hands like the weight of the world was pressing down on her.

"What sin did I commit today..." She muttered, her voice pitched in exaggerated despair. "I should have never gone out today! First I meet a mythical beast straight out of Grandma’s legends, and then, then, I meet someone even worse than that!"

"...An utter pervert who actually begs to be beaten up by my breasts!"

Her tail thudded against the dirt in agitation as she tilted her head back toward the sky, glaring up at the moon as if demanding an answer.

"Why? Why me? What unlucky fate did I draw today?! What gods did I offend to deserve this?"

When she looked down again, her eyes burned with indignation, glaring daggers at Cassius’s satisfied grin still half-buried in her cleavage.

"Fine." She huffed. "This is the last request I’m granting you. The last, you hear me? Nothing more after this. Once it’s done, that’s it, the deal is finished."

"...Don’t you dare haunt me after you die, whining about unfulfilled regrets."

Cassius nodded with such conviction it almost looked solemn. "Of course, of course. This is it. My final wish."

She bit down on her lip, still clearly hesitating. Her fingers curled against her breasts protectively, and her tail shifted anxiously across the dirt. But seeing his utterly shameless, expectant face, she finally exhaled a long sigh of defeat.

"Ugh, what am I going to do with you." She muttered, her cheeks flaming.

Slowly, she lifted her breasts off his face, giving him air for the first time in what felt like ages, while Cassius inhaled greedily, already bracing himself for what was to come.

She then shifted her posture, raising her torso and angling herself to the side like someone winding up a swing. Her breasts hung heavily with the movement, swaying with momentum as if gravity itself were eager to obey her will.

He stared, wide-eyed, anticipation buzzing through his veins.

Then, with a motion smooth as a whip-crack, she swung her torso back down. Her breasts, heavy and round, gained force as they cut through the air, until they slammed into his face with a resounding WHAP!

The flesh-on-flesh impact echoed obscenely, like a clap of thunder in the still night.

Her own chest stung from the recoil, the shock traveling through her breasts and making her wince.

But Cassius?.. Cassius’s face snapped sideways from the blow, his cheek instantly reddening under the impact, and yet he looked ecstatic. A slow, satisfied smile spread across his lips, as if he had just touched the edge of nirvana.

She blinked down at him, stunned by that look.

She wanted, truly wanted, to scold him for being such a lunatic, such a perverted, insufferable man.

But the grin plastered across his face, the sheer bliss radiating from him, was too much. Against her will, her lips trembled, and then—

"Pfft."

She tried to stifle it, but laughter bubbled out anyway.

"Pffhhahahaha!" She slapped a hand over her mouth, but her shoulders shook as she giggled helplessly.

"You look, your face, hahhh, gods, you look ridiculous! One side red like you’ve been smacked with a frying pan, the other side pale as death, and you’re still smiling like an idiot!"

Cassius blinked, reaching up to touch his cheek gingerly.

"Eh? What’s so funny?" He asked, feigning confusion, though his grin never faltered. "Is something amusing happening here? Did I miss a joke?"

She shook her head furiously, still giggling.

"Nothing, nothing at all!" She insisted, even as she snorted through her nose, failing to keep her composure.

The sight of him looking so utterly content after being slapped nearly senseless by her chest was too absurd.

Finally, she managed to rein her laughter in, though a fond smile lingered. She gazed down at him, her eyes softening.

"You really are something else." She said quietly. "At first, I thought you were just an idiot. Then I realized you’re shameless. And then...finally...I discovered you’re perverted too."

"...So you’re an idiotic, shameless, stupid, perverted man."

Cassius groaned, rolling his eyes. "Enough, enough, enough! Those insults are hurting me more than the acid still eating my back!"

She smirked, clearly pleased with herself.

"But even still..." She said, her voice gentler now. "You’re...funny. Annoying, perverted, shameless, but funny. You’re actually kind of interesting. And...it’s sad, you know. Sad that you’re going to die."

"Oh? You’re only realizing you’ll miss me now?" His brow arched faintly, and his lips curved into a crooked smile. "Not earlier when you were crying your eyes out?"

"No, no, I was sad then too." She tilted her head, lips pursing thoughtfully. "But that was different, it was the kind of sadness anyone would feel if the person who saved them died. Nothing special."

"Honestly...if I’m being truthful, I probably would have forgotten you after a while. A little pang in my chest whenever I remembered, but nothing lasting."

Cassius winced. "That’s...harsh."

She shrugged lightly, her tail flicking. "It’s the truth. But now...now I regret it. After spending time with you, talking to you, realizing just how ridiculous you are...I think I’ll regret not meeting you sooner."

Because even though you’re a pervert, you’re amusing. You’re someone I could’ve had fun with. And now you’re just...going to vanish." Her eyes softened with a faint, sorrowful glimmer.

For a long moment, Cassius was silent, staring at her with that half-smile, half-grimace. Then, with a glint of mischief he couldn’t suppress, he whispered.

"If you’ll really miss me that much...then you can always let my soul live inside your breasts. I could talk to you every day. Use your pretty purple nipples as my mouth."

Her jaw dropped. Then she burst out laughing, smacking his chest with her palm.

"That’s disgusting! How could you even think of something like that?!"

Cassius chuckled too, his grin widening despite the burn in his back. "What? You’d never be lonely again."

She shook her head, still laughing, her embarrassment mixing with reluctant amusement.

"You’re insane. Utterly insane...But so entertaining as well."

"...you must be some jester in some big noble household or something."