Chapter 153: The Monk Who Wanted a Free Meal Ran Into a Brick Wall

With no discernible skills, he struggled to make his way in the world. He accidentally discovered that people treated him with great respect when he wore a monk’s robes, and so he began his journey of grifting for free food and drink.

Today, Xin Shan passed by Jiang Liu’s food stall and saw how popular it was. He decided to try and mooch a free meal. ’With this many people around, the owner wouldn’t dare lay a hand on me, would he?’ he thought. If things got ugly, he’d just mutter some nonsensical tongue twister at him and be done with it.

"Benefactor? Sashimi..." Jiang Liu looked up in confusion at the sound of the voice, only to see a fair-skinned monk with downcast eyes standing before him.

’What’s a monk doing here? And asking for meat right off the bat?’

Jiang Liu’s brow furrowed almost imperceptibly.

"We’re out of tuna. You’ll have to order something else."

"Gone!?" Xin Shan was getting angry. "Benefactor, you’re running a business. The customer is king, you know. You need to be a little more professional."

...

Jiang Liu didn’t even spare him a glance, continuing to pack up orders for his customers.

"Fine, fine. Just hurry up and bring out the buns, Benefactor."

Having missed out on the tuna, Xin Shan felt like he’d been cheated, and his tone became cold.

He’d gotten used to being treated like royalty over the years, and his tone had naturally become condescending.

"Go ahead and sit. It’ll be out in a minute."

’A monk should be fasting and chanting sutras, not coming down the mountain to eat meat,’ Jiang Liu thought with some disgust, but he couldn’t be bothered to deal with the guy.

’As long as he pays, I don’t care. If he tries to dine and dash, I’ll just have Dad haul him off to the detention center as a con artist.’

The other customers kept glancing over at Xin Shan, who was sitting quietly.

They had all heard the rude tone he’d just used with Boss Jiang.

The customers were not happy. Not happy at all.

’Boss Jiang is our guy. Who does this fake-ass monk think he is, acting so high and mighty?’

Aunt Meng, naturally on Jiang Liu’s side, said with a biased tone, "Most monks these days are fakes. I bet this guy is just here to dine and dash. I’ve heard plenty of stories about it."

She said it with such conviction.

The moment she finished speaking,

Jiang Liu’s loyal customers began to worry.

’What if he really is a dine-and-dasher? What if it ruins Boss Jiang’s mood and he doesn’t open up shop tomorrow?!’

This was a critical issue! Mark it down—foreshadowing!

Someone spoke up:

"How about this: those of us who aren’t in a hurry shouldn’t leave yet. We can keep an eye on things for Brother Jiang. If he doesn’t pay and tries to bully Brother Jiang, there are plenty of us here. We’ll mess him up."

"Count me in! I’ll defend Brother Jiang to the death today!" Yang Tuoyang exclaimed, excitedly eating a bun.

"Let’s see who dares bully Boss Jiang! I’ll beat him so bad his own mother won’t recognize him!" Jiao Shenghua declared with melodramatic ferocity, clenching a fist the size of a sandbag at Xin Shan’s back.

Xin Shan sat down, closed his eyes, and began to finger a wooden prayer bead bracelet he’d bought for five yuan.

He muttered with a practiced air, "Eat grapes but do not spit the skin; spit the grape but do not spit the seed."

Back at the temple, he’d often slacked off and hadn’t really learned anything.

And after a few years on his own, he’d forgotten what little he knew completely.

Hm?

’Why do I feel all these hostile stares?’

’It’s probably just my imagination...’

Tongtong brought over the buns and fruit juice.

"Enjoy your meal, mister," she said in a sweet, childish voice.

Seeing such a pretty little girl,

a flicker of excitement glinted in Xin Shan’s eyes.

He used to prefer young, married women, but now... this was his favorite type.

"Little one, I have a small gift for you. Do you want it?"

"No!" Frightened, Tongtong shook her head and ran off.

’Daddy said I shouldn’t take things from strangers.’

Xin Shan shook his head, a little disappointed.

He wore a look of what seemed to be pity.

Xin Shan glanced at the buns on the table and his unruly eyebrows furrowed.

’This boss is so cheap. Who can get full on buns this small? And a fifteen-bun limit? I’m not coming back to mooch off this place again!’

’Pathetic!’

He picked up a shrimp bun and popped it into his mouth.

The next moment.

Xin Shan was utterly shocked.

The soft, fragrant dough gave way, and scalding hot juices, rich with the sweetness of corn, flooded the back of his tongue. The shrimp was crisp yet tender, bursting with savory flavor. The texture was absolutely divine!

Incredible!

’How could it possibly be this good!’

’Did he use artificial enhancers? No, the flavor isn’t harsh at all. It’s all the natural aroma of the ingredients!’

His worldview shattered.

He had swindled his way across the country for years, eating everything that swam in the sea, flew in the sky, and crawled on the land. None of it was even half as good as this bun!

’This was the first time he’d ever eaten such a sublime bun!’

’Truly unbelievable! Unprecedented!’

’Eat! I have to finish them all!’

Like a starving ghost, Xin Shan desperately stuffed the buns into his mouth.

He devoured them one after another, gulping down the cool, refreshing watermelon juice whenever he felt himself about to choke.

Amazing!

These buns are so damn good!

’Dammit, this is so good I don’t want to leave.’

’I have to come back and mooch again tomorrow!’

In no time, he had devoured all the buns and juice. He even grabbed two more bottles of juice on his way out.

He walked to the counter. Just as everyone was let down, thinking he was actually going to pay...

Xin Shan lowered his gaze, his expression solemn. He pressed his palms together in a bow. "Benefactor, thank you for your charity. May your path through life always be filled with kindness and love. Amitabha. Your merit is immeasurable."

Jiang Liu: ???!

’What the hell are you talking about? I don’t get it... but I get the feeling you’re digging your own grave, pal.’

After speaking, Xin Shan kept his palms pressed together, turned, and walked away.

He pushed open the glass door. The street noise swelled, and he was filled with a sense of smug satisfaction.

’Haha, another free meal.’

’I bet that boss doesn’t have the guts to do anything to me.’

’He definitely wouldn’t dare hit me with so many people watching. Heh heh.’

Tongtong’s mouth fell open in shock. She pointed frantically at Xin Shan. "A bad man! A bad man! Daddy, he didn’t pay!"

"Jiang Liu, should we call the police?" Jun Qingmeng asked, looking at him.

’She wanted to use her connections to teach this monk a harsh lesson on Jiang Liu’s behalf.’

"No need. He’s not getting away." A corner of Jiang Liu’s mouth lifted into a smirk. He cracked his knuckles and stepped out from behind the counter.

’He planned to drag that stinking bald ass back here by force.’

’Dine-and-dash and then try to run? Not on my watch.’

’Does he really think Yangzhai Street is his personal temple?’

However, the moment he stepped outside, before he could even make a move, Xin Shan was already surrounded by a crowd of "enthusiastic" locals.

They weren’t letting him leave. Simple as that.

The twenty-odd customers were thrilled.

’Look, Boss Jiang! Does this mean you’ll make extra buns for us tomorrow?’

Xin Shan just smiled faintly, unconcerned, and gave his sleeve a nonchalant flick.

"Is there something I can help you with, benefactors? If you require a consecration or ritual service, we can add each other on WeChat."

"Well now, this monk’s got some nerve."

"So shameless. You gonna let that slide?"

"I’m not. Let’s get him?"

"WeChat my ass!"

"Don’t shove, just let me get one kick in and I’m out."

"You punk!"

Before Xin Shan could even react, he was tackled and pinned to the ground by a mob of uncles, aunties, and able-bodied young men.

His fair skin made intimate contact with the concrete.

Every so often, a foot would "accidentally" step on his hand or neck.

He got a mouthful of dirt when he tried to speak:

"What are you doing?! You can’t just hit me! I’m calling the police, you hear me!"

"Release this poor monk!!"

"The police? Oh, I’d love that. My son’s the chief of the local station. Please, go ahead and call."

"I heard Boss Jiang’s dad is on the criminal investigation squad and knows the captain, too. Let the guy make a report. Since when is dining and dashing the reasonable thing to do?"

"People like him are parasites on society. PTOOEY!"

"Why don’t we just beat him up? He’ll definitely be brought to our hospital for an injury assessment afterward. I’ll try to make sure the report is... gentle."...

Listening to all the big shots around him discussing how to deal with him...

Xin Shan was stunned. No matter how foolish he was, he now understood that he had picked a fight with the wrong crowd.

’These people were really willing to go to such lengths... just because he’d dined and dashed at this one little shop??’

’What kind of background does the owner of a tiny food stall have to command this much influence?!’

A blond punk spat a thick gob of phlegm onto Xin Shan’s head. "You dare dine-and-dash on Brother Jiang? You got a death wish or something? Huh?"

Seeing Jiang Liu standing stunned in the doorway, an auntie waved.

"Xiao Jiang, you stay out of this! My son’s on the investigation squad, I’ll have him thrown in the slammer!"

"Boss Jiang, you just go back to selling your buns. You’ll dirty your hands dealing with this piece of trash."