Chapter 2322: Don't Shoot, Messenger

Chapter 2322: Don’t Shoot, Messenger

Seeing Vahn and Merry emerge from the One-Horn Community’s headquarters, a seemingly voluptuous woman with maroon hair and olive, slightly reddish skin narrowed her eyes. Her features and physique could be described as flawless from a distance, but closer inspection revealed that her entire body was purely mechanical in nature.

Though androids, gynoids, and other artificial lifeforms could be found in many places throughout the Little Garden, they were especially rare in the South and East Sides. However, while her mechanical form and golden, camera-like irises stood out, the features most people would notice when viewing the peculiar woman were her garments.

Instead of ‘conventional’ clothing or a form of attire that would help her blend in with her surroundings, the maroon-haired woman was garbed in a pristine white toga and various red and gold ornaments. Most prominent among these was a golden pauldron fashioned in the visage of a deer, an armored arm bearing a durable-looking buckler, banded, fur-lined sandals that covered much of her calves, a crown-like diadem affixed with antlers, and a girdle with runic symbols depicting a mountain and lightning bolts.

“So, that’s the Sage Dragon Emperor…he’s a lot less imposing in real life…”

Following the woman’s remark, an even more conspicuous figure replied, “Perhaps. That doesn’t change the fact he was able to defeat Amaterasu and Indra in single combat. It would be pretty rash to underestimate him.”

Despite possessing a purely mechanical head resembling a helmet with a visor, the fashionably dressed, relatively modern-attired man brought up a cigarette to his non-existent lips and inhaled. As he did so, fiery crystals protruding from his helmet and the backs of his silvery, metallic boots lit up in a manner resembling luminous golden flames.

After inhaling a considerable amount of smoke, the man exhaled in a clearly exasperated manner, the smoke emanating from the sides of his helmet rather than the approximate location of his ‘mouth.’

Without taking her eyes off Vahn, the maroon-haired woman adopted a scowl as she remarked, “Such thinking is the reason Olympus is gradually losing its power and authority. Even if it means our destruction, we should face the Sage Dragon Emperor with conviction. The Poets and Bards have already begun to sing songs of our ‘cowardice.’ If we try to ignore them as we did during Avalon’s ascent, Olympus may never rise again.”

Exhaling another tired sigh, the helmeted man remarked, “We’re relics of a bygone era, Artemis. Our efforts to modernize and compete with the Nine Realms have long since undermined the history and traditions upon which we derive our power. At this point, there are ‘Heroes’ in the West that have nearly as much power and influence as we Olympians…”

Clenching her teeth, the maroon-haired woman, better known as Artemis of the Olympians, raised her fist as if she were about to strike her helmet-headed companion. She was one of the more popular Olympians, but that was a double-edged sword. As the influence of other Artemis grew in the West, her form became more mechanical to match the many markswomen and gunslingers that relied upon cybernetic enhancements and advanced weaponry to emulate her power. That’s one of the many reasons she was so eager to return to the battlefield; she wanted to restore her image and regain her ‘purity.’

Though he clearly suffered from an even worse ‘affliction,’ the helmeted man, Hermes, had long embraced his form and the influence it had on his lifestyle. He was part of the progressive faction of Olympians, so even if he became completely robotic in the future, he didn’t care so long as their Community continued to prosper.

Unfortunately, while Hermes stood in opposition to Zeus, the Chief God of the Olympians and de facto leader of the conservative faction, he still had to follow the tyrannical Gods’ orders. Zeus was infamous as one of, if not the most vengeful Gods in the entire Little Garden. He permitted the existence of the progressive and neutral faction, but he would often show up to ‘clean house’ whenever he was in a bad mood.

Recalling Zeus’s past actions, Hermes caressed a vicious burn mark that covered the entirety of his left arm and much of his body. Conspiratory thoughts ran rampant within his mind, but they were promptly suppressed by a sub-routine he had created to store away and prevent such thoughts from being read by others. Unless accessed directly, even he would not be aware of the true extent of his hatred and subterfuge.

After calming himself sufficiently, Hermes flicked aside his extinguished cigarette and said, “Let’s go. And remember, we’re only here to deliver a message. If you pick a fight, don’t expect me to bail you out.”

Snorting through her nose, Artemis retorted, “Coward…” before jumping from her perch and bounding through the air with the grace of a gazelle. Golden ripples appeared each time her feet impacted the air, effectively allowing her to stride across the sky.

As this was far from the first time he had been called a coward, Hermes just shook his head and placed his hands into his pockets. The crystals protruding from his helmet and greaves briefly illuminated, but only the most discerning would have been able to recognize it as he immediately vanished…

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Though he had been keeping tabs on Artemis and Hermes, Vahn couldn’t help muttering, “Really? You’re going to interrupt my date…?” just as twin streaks of flame bypassed him and Merry, culminating in the appearance of Olympus’s God of Trade, Wealth, Luck, and Travel.

Despite the helmet covering his head, Hermes raised his hand to scratch the back of it as he answered, “Yeah, sorry about that. You’re not exactly easy to pin down. I recommended we send an official missive to the Sage Dragon’s Hearth, but the big man up top isn’t exactly known for listening to the counsel of others.”

Recognizing who Hermes was, Merry’s body became tense, a fierce look marring her previously smiling face as she clung to Vahn’s right arm and growled, “You shouldn’t be here. Underwood may welcome outsiders and tourists, but that courtesy doesn’t extend to the hounds of Zeus…”

Shrugging his shoulders, Hermes elected to ignore Merry’s remark as he made ‘eye contact’ with Vahn and revealed, “Anyways…we came here to deliver a message.”

Following Hermes’s remark, Artemis touched down a few meters away from Vahn and Merry, a proud and detached glower on her face as she added, “Zeus awaits you at the peak of Mt. Olympus. If you accept, we are to escort you there immediately.”

Waving her hand, Artemis created a golden vortex to her right. From the interior emerged a mechanical Ibex, its height exceeding three meters as it stood proudly next to its master.

In an attempt to prevent an altercation, Hermes raised his hands in a gesture of mock surrender, his tone chipper and upbeat as he clarified, “What my sister neglected to mention is that we’ve prepared a banquet and various forms of entertainment to welcome you. We also know about your ability to split yourself into multiple forms, so it’s not like we’re asking you to abandon your date with little miss unicorn here.”

“Hmmm…”

Directing his gaze to Artemis, Vahn narrowed his eyes, his voice taking on a playful undertone as he asked, “And if I refuse…?”

Narrowing her eyes in turn, Artemis crossed her arms under her shapely, ostensibly artificial breasts as she replied, “Then Zeus was right about you. You’re a coward that has conspired with the declining rulers of the Little Garden to reinforce their standing and undermine the influence of any God that might oppose them.”

Though Artemis’s words were clearly vitriol intended to anger him, Vahn exhaled a light chuckle. He hadn’t conspired with anyone, but the optional objectives listed in his Quest made it clear he wasn’t opposed to the idea of undermining certain Gods. Among those, Zeus was near the top of the list, second only to a certain ‘God of Truth.’

Annoyed by Vahn’s laughter, Artemis manifested what appeared to be an inordinately long-barreled revolver. It resembled a rifle, but the stock was curved, clearly intended to be wielded with a single hand.

As her golden eyes emitted an ever-growing radiance, Artemis’s naturally husky tone sounded audibly strained as she put pressure on the gun’s trigger and bellowed, “Why are you laughing!? Do you think we Olympians are some kind of joke…!?”

“Artemis…!”

Vanishing from his initial position, Hermes appeared in front of Artemis in an instant, his arms spread in a defensive posture. He understood full well that Vahn didn’t need his protection, but initiating a conflict in the territory of a Floor Master was asking for trouble. Draco Greif’s reputation couldn’t compare to even the least famous Olympian, but he still had the authority of a Host Master. If they acted out and received the label of Demon Lord, their reputations would never recover.

Clicking her tongue, Artemis shouldered her ornate, oversized revolver and asked, “Why are you getting anxious? It’s not like I had any intention of firing. I just wanted the Sage Dragon Emperor to take our conversation more seriously. Is that a crime?”

“…”

Understanding the futility of trying to argue with a Goddess as proud as Artemis, Hermes took a moment to adjust his collar before looking back at Vahn and Merry, his voice audibly apologetic as he stated, “It would mean a lot to a lot of people if you were to accept our invitation…”

Catching the two Gods off guard, Vahn showed no discernible hesitation as he replied, “Sure. I originally planned to stop by once the festival was drawing to an end. Showing up a few days earlier doesn’t change much.”

Punctuating his words, Vahn’s body appeared to vibrate and become illusory as he split into three identical versions of himself. He only needed two, but Hermes’s revelation that he could split himself had caused Merry to bore holes into him with her passionate, ruddy-faced gaze.

Understanding the implication behind Vahn’s actions, Artemis’s already frigid expression became exceptionally icy while Hermes just exhaled a synthetic-sounding chuckle. However, as Vahn was pretty famous for his ‘womanizing,’ neither was particularly surprised by his actions.

Not wanting to stick around any longer than was absolutely necessary, Artemis climbed onto the back of her artificial Ibex and suggested, “We depart immediately.” in a commanding tone. She wasn’t the type to offer courtesy to anyone, not even Zeus, so she couldn’t care less if her words and actions offended Vahn.

Borrowing a page from Hermes’s book, Vahn ignored the maroon-haired Goddess, his gentle green eyes fixating on her markedly more mechanical half-sibling as he asked, “Are you truly okay with that form? I could easily restore you to your ‘original’ appearance.”

Though he didn’t have a mouth or the musculature to smile with, Hermes gave off the impression he was doing precisely that as he replied, “Nah. It was a little jarring in the beginning, but I’ve grown somewhat fond of this form. I do appreciate the offer, though. Thanks.”

Nodding his head in approval, Vahn briefly shifted his gaze to Artemis, a natural smile developing across his face as he noticed the sudden conflict within her distinctly mechanical eyes. Both he and Hermes knew the true reason for his proposition. The only question was whether or not Artemis had the intestinal fortitude to swallow her pride, apologize, and appeal to his good nature. Unfortunately, while he had absolutely no qualms about restoring her original appearance, Artemis ultimately clenched her teeth and tightened the reins of her Ibex, growling, “Don’t fall behind…” before giving them a flick and taking off at hypersonic speeds…

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(A/N: Alternate Titles: ‘Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-‘,’Hermes seems like a bro…’,’Let’s just hope she doesn’t shit the bed if Vahn allows her to lie in it…’)

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