"Thatâs a process! Thereâs a progression from Earthâs latitude and longitude lines to soil geography!" Sakatsuki emphasized by rapping the blackboard, his frustration evident. "How can you ignore this progression? This isnât something you can gloss over! That old bastard Merlin deceived youâheâs just a sadistic jokester, an internet scammer, a shut-in NEET! After spending so much time with him, havenât you realized yet? The dreams he weaves are tailor-made for you and lack universal applicability!"
"But Merlin saidâ"
"Oh for heavenâs sake, forget about Merlin! Heâs just a peeping Tom hiding in the inner layer of the world, devoid of any sense of honor. He calls himself a teacher only because heâs an ancient monster whoâs lived too long, and all his knowledge comes from spying on others... He even bites his tongue when casting magecraft!"
"For years, Merlin still hasnât learned how to teach systematically. He just dumps a jumble of academic knowledge into your head like dumping trash, completely unaware that heâs only holding you back!"
Tossing aside Artoriaâs knowledge assessment sheet, the young man completely lost the demeanor befitting an assassin, pacing anxiously around the room before grabbing RĂ©ticeâs water glass and downing it in one gulp. Then he slumped into a chair.
"All the academic knowledge is jumbled together. How am I supposed to help you sort it out in this state? Itâs over."
"Teaching has failed."
Amid an atmosphere resembling the eve of a nationâs collapse, Artoria crouched shamefully in the corner while Laeticia picked up the assessment sheet adorned with the ahoge. Scanning it rapidly, her eyes gradually glazed over in bewilderment.
Economics, political science, sociology, psychology, history, anthropology, geography, physics, chemistry, biology, mathematics, computer science, statistics, agronomy, animal husbandry, environmental science... This was the first time sheâd seen someone list their specialized subjects in what amounted to a small essay.
"So this is the legendary King Arthur... How terrifying."
Suddenly, she understood Sakatsukiâs despair. This was a height no ordinary person could reach in a single lifetime. The King of Knights herself was a walking encyclopedia, the crystallization of human knowledge. Even the slightest leak of her knowledge would be an unbearable weight for "mortals."
"But didnât Lady Jeanne dâArc say that Mordred was a homuncuus created by the witch Morgan le Fay to replace King Arthur? Logically, she should be on par with the King of Knights..."
The girlâs murmur reached Sakatsuki and Artoriaâs ears, instantly lighting up both pairs of eyes.
âââ
Coincidentally, on the other side of the magical projection, Shakespeareâdragged there by Amakusaâwas also descending into helpless fury.
"Good heavens, my dear fellow! For Godâs sake, why not make more choices? Oh, what I mean is, Mordred, you can destroy a country, so how do you become this daft the moment you start studying? Truly unbelievable! Devil take it, this is dreadfulâI swear I mean every word!"
Faced with Shakespeareâs pretentious translation style that made one itch to kick his backside with pointed leather boots, Mordred was uncharacteristically silent. Her usually lion-like, spirited emerald eyes were now filled with dazzling starlight, swirling endlessly like a miniature galaxy, mesmerizing anyone who looked into themâin simpler terms, she looked utterly dumbstruck, commonly referred to as "spinning mosquito coil eyes.""
Before her, the EncyclopĂŠdia Britannica remained open on the second page, with human evolution barely reaching the stage of hominids, perfectly mirroring Mordredâs current foolish expression.
Shakespeare tugged at his hair in frustration, while Amakusa patted his shoulder. Though they were supposed to be enemies, the two exchanged a glance and found an unexpected camaraderieâthe shared sorrow of heroes past their prime.
No wonder a renowned literary giant and a saint of enlightenment felt so helpless. Though with the help of the Lion King, Mordred had at least agreed to attend lessons, the reality wasâ
Eyes: "Got it, Iâve learned it!"
Brain: "No, you havenât."
And so, with a blink, the lesson was over. When Shakespeare gave her a pop quiz, Mordred cheerfully declared, "I dunno!"ânearly making the great writer cough up three liters of blood. If knowledge were an ocean, Mordred would be a freshwater fishâher very species was the problem.
Even Shakespeare and Amakusa were at a loss. Theyâd met slow learners before, but never one as hopeless as her. Why couldnât she channel the same stubborn determination she used to stab her father into her studies?
"I say, what madness has possessed you two? If the girl canât be taught, then donât teach her," the Empress said impatiently, arms crossed. "Whatâs the point of aiding the enemy? Weâre wasting time."
"No, Assassin. At this point, the reason hardly matters," Amakusa replied with a pained smile, rubbing his forehead. "We just want to win."
"Mm-hmm, such is the damned competitive spirit of men. One could say all men under heaven are the same."
"How tedious." The Empress scoffed and turned to leave. "Iâm done here."
Before she could take a step, Amakusa grabbed her sleeve. Under Semiramisâs stunned gaze, the young priest pouted, his expression almost pleading. "Wonât you help me?"
It was as though Cupid had drawn his bow and pierced the Empressâs heart, draining it of all its poison and schemes, leaving behind only a vulnerability she had long forgotten.
"...Fine. Iâll lend you a hand... my slave (Master)."
"Ahh! As they say, âLove that enters the heart cannot be driven out by scolding or beating. Once it has claimed you, it possesses all of youââmmph!"
Shakespeare, indulging his poetic flair, was swiftly punished. Clutching his throat, he turned pale and was unceremoniously tossed out by the Empress. The languid beauty in black took her seat, pressing close to the white-haired saint.
"Let me see just how dense this little Red Saber truly is."
"Youâre the dense one, you venomous hag!" Mordred snapped back, instantly snapping out of her daze. The Empress, in high spirits, merely chuckled. "I mastered enough knowledge to rule the world in just a few years. Unlike some, who canât even grasp a basic encyclopedia."
"I can too! Itâs just that..."
Since Father was gone, Britain had long fallen. So what was the point of studying anymore?
As Mordred sank into silence, a sudden burst of magical light appeared before her eyes. Two figures stepped out from a diamond-shaped space, arms laden with thick stacks of test papers and books. Amidst the stunned onlookers, Sakatsuki barely managed to poke his head out.
"A slight miscalculation in teleportation? Well, no matter. We were delivering these anyway."
With two loud thuds, two piles of books half a personâs height landed before Mordred, towering like small mountains that left her dumbfounded. Sakatsuki and Artoria took a synchronized step back, clapped their hands, and let out a long sigh.
"...Sakatsuki, what is this?" Through the projection, Amakusa eyed the familiar setup with a growing sense of foreboding.
"Hm? Arenât you the Far Eastâs saint? Oh right, the timeline hereâs offâthis method hasnât caught on yet..." Sakatsuki muttered before curling his lips into a chilling grin at Mordred.
"This is what we callâthe Sea of Questions Tactic!"
The Sea of Questions Tactic: a teacherâs treasure, a studentâs nightmare. It was a quagmire of struggle, a hell of no return. Countless successful individuals, reminiscing about their youthful days, would unanimously dig this colossal pit for the next generation, watching with eager anticipation as they tumbled in, never to return.
"Tomorrowâs you will surely thank todayâs hardworking self! Study like thereâs no tomorrowâbecause if you donât, youâll die! Go for it, olĂ©!"
Her instincts screaming warnings, Mordred was about to bolt when a familiar ahoge swayed into view. Artoria emerged from the book pile, beaming brightly as she patted the desk.
"Look, look, Mordred! Sakatsuki and I traveled thousands of miles to China to get these for youâNine Years of College Entrance Exams, Five Years of Mock Tests, Langangâs Decade of Exam Questions, Teaching & Learning: From Beginner to Grave... With these, weâll definitely teach you well!"
"Weâll definitely teach you well!"
Never before had she seen Father smile so radiantly... Mordred stared blankly at the beaming Artoria, her tone softening unconsciously.
"Okay."
At this moment, little Mordred had no idea what horrors awaited her in the future. To sum it up in one sentence:
One night, one pen, one miracle, one corpseâ
Correction: seven corpses.