Lucy was able to talk so enthusiastically about something that hasnât even begun... But since she had decided to truly start exploring a field she had never touched before, Su Jiameng wouldnât act without preparation. It seemed she now had an extra task to handle.
Time passed quickly, and Su Jiameng dove into sorting out her second life, listing the various things she knew or had only heard about into a timeline chart. Since she was telling her own story, it was enough to "truthfully" narrate them to a certain extent, so there was no need to prepare detailed outlines or drafts.
Because itâs her "own" story, Su Jiameng decided to use the first-person perspective. Although she hadnât read many novels, she knew that first-person novels were unpopular because they often end up being self-indulgent fantasies âź(âŻâœâ°)â.
Take a first-person palace intrigue drama, for instance: the female protagonist, in order to express how beautiful she is to captivate all men, will inevitably focus on descriptions of appearance, gaze, actions, psychological changes, and attire. But if itâs written too beautifully, it always feels somewhat disgustingly narcissistic.
Besides, first-person narration also has a rather fatal flaw, which is the inability to accurately describe other peopleâs psychological states.
However, psychological activity is a very important aspect in novel writing. As the protagonist with a first-person perspective, how can one have the ability to "peek into othersâ psychological activities" and write about what others are thinking at any given moment? Itâs super easy to split personalities...
Even though first-person has various shortcomings, Su Jiameng decided to write a novel purely to vent and share her emotions and past. She wasnât yet aware enough to worry about what readers might think. Moreover, since itâs her own story, Su Jiameng couldnât shake off the feeling that using third-person narration to describe othersâ psychological activities was slightly schizophrenic and looked super awkward...
The novel naturally began from when "I" first traversed through worlds, starting with the initial terror, the later fear, gradually transitioning to acceptance of reality, and confusion and panic about the future...
The first Chapter mainly focused on writing about "my" psychological changes, from initially resisting the strange environment and characters to gradually accepting them. Then, towards the end of the Chapter, through a conversation between "parents," the shadow of the Insect Race and the larger background of the era was introduced...
"Tsk tsk tsk, Xiao Meng types pretty fast, huh..." Lucy teased her with interest. Su Jiameng could only roll her eyesâwhat other expression could she show? If her hand speed werenât fast, how could she pilot a mecha? That comment was somewhat unnecessary, Lucy girl. "But, Xiao Meng, have you really decided to write in the first person? Speaking as a reader, the likelihood of abandoning the story might be high..."
"This is just fine..." Su Jiameng replied calmly, slightly organizing the first Chapter and then saving it, "If I chose third-person, I always feel something would be off... I just need to follow my own wishes."
"That does make sense!" Lucy clapped her right fist against her left palm and then said, "But doesnât Xiao Meng think the first Chapter is a bit too slow-paced?"
"Itâs alright..." Su Jiameng thought carefully; the scene of her first-time crossing worlds was still vivid in her memory, and her feelings at that time were just like that. Her parents thought their newborn daughter had health issues, so they took her to the hospital for a long time, taking turns watching over her...
Actually, at that time, Su Jiameng felt guilty. She was unsure whether she had reincarnated and forgotten to drink Meng Po Soup to erase memories, or if she had invaded this body, killing the parentsâ biological child... Because of this thought, she was always hesitant.
She dared not imagine what this pair of parents, who loved their child to the core, would do if her secret was exposed... In reality, the possibility of them becoming angry and even berating her as a monster was quite high, wasnât it? After all, their real child shouldnât have so many memories...
Living hesitantly while yearning for her parentsâ care and loveâthis was something the first-life Su Jiameng never experienced... This situation continued until her fatherâs death in battle. When he was gone, it was too late for her regrets.
Adults thought a three-year-old child wouldnât have too many memories and complex feelings, but Su Jiameng was no ordinary child. She remembered vividly how her father died. She lost her father at three, her mother at six, and by nine, her last remaining grandparents had also passed away...
Her fatherâs death taught Su Jiameng to truly understand this cruel and dangerous world. Her motherâs death motivated her to strive for peace with her own hands, protect everything she desired to protect. To pin her happiness and loved ones on others, waiting passively like a fool for the Alliance Warriorâs rescueâthat would be shameful, foolish, and pathetically naive.
The passing of her grandparents possibly impacted her the most, completely stripping away the influence of the first-life Su Jiameng, deeply reminding her she was merely Su Jiameng, a descendant of four fallen Alliance Warrior heroes!
She grew along a path marked with blood, filled with that of the Insect Race, enemies, friends, family, comrades... Others are reborn from the flames; she and the survivors of that era walked through blood, the cost of growing too great for anyone to bearâno matter the collapse, one could only grit their teeth and persist...
"This is the story I want to write; itâs enough to write whatâs in my heart..." Therefore, thereâs no need to change the original intention to cater to othersâ tastesâjust follow oneâs true self. Regarding Su Jiamengâs persistence, Lucy inexplicably found no words to oppose.
"Uh... So, what is the main theme of Xiao Mengâs novel? Whatâs it about?"
"The story of a miserable heroine going through a series of unpleasant events, surrounded by people all dying, after which she self-destructs..."
Lucy: "..." (To be continued. If you like this work, please visit qidian.com to vote for recommendations or monthly tickets. Your support is my greatest motivation. Mobile users, please read at m.qidian.com.)