Chapter 337: Cheered up by Rachel

By the time Linda had dealt with Brad’s little gang, I was already heading upstairs, glad to be putting some distance between me and that whole mess.

I knew better than to let guys like that get under my skin. That kind of talk, all bark, all posturing was designed to do exactly one thing: rattle you. And the frustrating part was that they were annoyingly good at it. Even when you knew what they were doing, it still worked.

Could I really deny every single thing they’d thrown at me?

I’d stood there and said it plain, no harm was coming to this place, not to anyone here. I’d said it with a straight face and a serious voice. But walking up those stairs alone, the doubt started creeping in like it always did when the noise died down and it was just me and my own thoughts.

Callighan, from everything I’d managed to piece together, wasn’t focused on us. Not really. His eyes were on the Boardwalk, the whole place Marlon had built up, and Marlon himself. That was his obsession. We were barely a footnote. He wasn’t the type to throw resources at a secondary target without a clear reason, and we hadn’t given him one. Not yet.

Gaspar, though, that was a different story entirely.

Would he really jump over here and start something? Honestly, I couldn’t say he wouldn’t. Not with any confidence. I had a rough read on Callighan. I’d seen and heard him enough to understand how he thought, what he valued, what he’d bother with and what he wouldn’t. But Gaspar? He was a blank wall.

He was too unpredictable.

The more I turned it over in my head, climbing each step, the clearer it became.

Gaspar needed to go. For everyone’s sake, not just ours. He’d already done more than enough damage, left more than enough behind him to justify it.

He needed to die.

"What’s with the hard face?"

I turned around.

Rachel was standing there on the landing, arms loosely crossed, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth like she’d caught me mid-spiral and found it at least a little amusing.

"Rachel," I said, and just saying her name loosened something in my chest.

She closed the distance and hugged me before I could say anything else. I hugged her back.

"It’s only been a couple days but I really missed you," she said into my shoulder.

"Likewise," I said, pulling her a little closer.

We stood like that for a moment in the stairwell, neither of us in a hurry to let go. Then we pulled back at the same time and kissed, naturally, like it was the most obvious thing in the world to do standing in a stairway leading to the fifth floor.

"Hmm~" A small sound slipped past her lips as I kissed her, my hands sliding across her back and pressing her closer, her chest warm against mine.

"We’re going to get caught one of these days," I said, pulling back just enough to speak.

Rachel exhaled softly, still leaning against me. "Sometimes I wish someone would. So we could just... tell everyone and..."

"Get over with it?" I said, finishing her thought.

She smiled at that. "Yeah."

I held her gaze for a second. "You’re not the only one thinking that. But I don’t think right now is the moment to open up the whole polygamous relationship conversation." I kept my voice light but I meant it.

Rachel’s smile faded just slightly. She nodded, sighing. "Yeah. And it’d feel weird too, with Mei still gone."

"I’ll get her back soon," I said. "Lucy agreed to cooperate, right?"

"She did. Christopher got through to her." Rachel shifted back a little, glancing up at me. "She’s ready to help us get both Mei and her brother back. Completely on board."

"Completely?"

"Completely. She even went out with Christopher, Sydney and Cindy just a little while ago."

I blinked. "Wait, right now? What are they doing outside?"

"Margaret’s been talking about starting a proper garden for a while now," Rachel explained, leaning against the stair railing. "Something real, not just whatever we can scrounge. She wanted to track down seeds, actual useful vegetables, before going all in on expanding it. Lucy mentioned she might have an idea where to look, so Christopher, Sydney and Cindy went with her."

I chewed on that for a second. "You sure she’s trustworthy? I mean, how does she even know where to find garden seeds?"

Rachel laughed a little at my skepticism. "She didn’t say she knew exactly where. It was more like she offered, she wanted to help. They’re also looking for weapons while they’re out there, but it’s risky going alone so the others are with her." She paused, thinking about it. "Honestly, I think she just can’t stand sitting around doing nothing. And maybe she wants to pay Christopher back somehow. He did save her life."

"Fair enough," I said. "As long as she doesn’t betray us."

"She won’t," Rachel said, shaking her head with a smile. "You’re being way too wary, Ryan."

"Someone has to be," I said. "You’re too kind and too trusting by half, so it balances out."

"Trusting people isn’t a bad thing, you know." Her voice was gentle, not accusatory. "I know things have been rough lately, really rough but it matters. Keeping that part of yourself, it matters."

"I just don’t want to take any more risks," I said, and I could feel my expression doing something complicated. "With you here, with the others, it’s already a lot to carry. Too much, some days."

Rachel looked at me. "That’s because you think you’re the only one standing between us and everything bad out there. But that’s not how it is, Ryan. We’re all strong. We can hold our own."

"Maybe." I exhaled. "But what about Gaspar? If he actually shows up, if it really comes down to that, I’m not sure even I can do enough. And that’s not me being modest."

She didn’t brush it off. She just looked at me with that quiet, steady softness she had.

"He’s the first other real Symbiote host you’ve come across," she said. "Of course you’re scared. That makes complete sense."

"I wouldn’t be half as scared if he wasn’t as dangerous as he is," I said, my voice dropping. "He got into Penny’s head. Controlled her. Nearly made her kill Lucy with her own hands." I shook my head slowly. "That’s what keeps me up. Not him coming for me, him going after one of you to get to me. Using anyone or someone I care about as the weapon."

The thought alone made me anxious.

Rachel reached up and pressed her palm gently against my cheek.

"Don’t let it spiral," she said quietly. "Everything is going to work out, as long as we stick together and don’t start fighting our battles alone. He might be stronger than any one of us right now. But together, I’m sure of it, Ryan. We can do this."

I held her gaze for a moment longer than I meant to. Then I sighed, something in me reluctantly unclenching, and let go of her waist before someone came around the corner and caught us standing there.

"You really know exactly how to talk to me," I said, turning and heading up the stairs.

Rachel followed, and I could hear the smile in her voice before I even looked back. "Well, it’s been three months. We’ve all pretty much figured out how to handle you by now."

"Handle me?" I raised an eyebrow. "Am I really that much of a headache?"

"A little bit, yeah," she said, grinning when I glanced back at her. "But you’re worth it."

I faced forward again and kept climbing.

I honestly could not believe this woman was my girlfriend. Out of everything this world had taken, somehow I’d ended up with her among other wonderful women. I was luckier than I had any right to be.

Carrying that thought, we made it up to the sixth floor, our floor.

"What about Daisy and Rebecca?" I asked as we reached the top.

"Helping out. Both of them." Rachel fell into step beside me. "They’ve been pretty motivated actually, pitching in wherever they’re needed, trying to make the whole place feel livable. Like it’s worth something. Like it could last."

Like it could last.

I turned that over quietly.

Once Callughan was dealt with, and he would be dealt with, one way or another, I was planning to leave. Leave for Europe, by whatever means I could scrape together. A ship, a route, anything. And somewhere in the back of my mind, in a place I hadn’t said out loud yet, I had a feeling that if I left, I wasn’t coming back here.

Rachel had already told me she’d follow me. But Rebecca?

Rebecca would never leave Rachel. Not for anything. And if I went, if Rachel went with me, what would that mean for her? Would she feel like she had no choice but to come along, dragged into my search for Elena and Alisha, away from everything she’d known here?

That was one of the reasons I’d kept telling myself I should go alone. Fewer people in the blast radius. Less of my own mess becoming their problem.

And yet, and this was the part I couldn’t be clean about, there was another version of me, quieter but just as real, that felt something close to relief every time someone said they were coming with me. That selfish, human part that didn’t want to do it alone, that needed them there even knowing the cost.

I was caught between those two things and still hadn’t found solid ground on either side.

But one thing I knew for certain, without any debate or gray area: if anything happened to any of them because of me, because of my choices, my goals, my reasons, I’d never come back from that. Especially not if it was Rebecca, as she was Rachel’s sister and as such she was also connected indirectly toward me and my decisions.

While I was thinking I felt a gentle slap against my back.

Rachel was looking at me exasperated.

"I told you to not overthink," she said.

"Yeah..."

Yet, as much as I wished to be with them until the end. If I had be away from them to keep them safe, then I would do it without hesitation.