Chapter 574: Death [5]

"You look like shit."

Liora’s words made Leon burst into warm laughter.

"You think? Actually, I went through quite a lot. Even now, it hurts quite a bit."

"What was it?"

"Believe it or not, it was actually an anomaly. A pretty strong one at that."

"Did you kill it?"

"No, I just barely managed to escape it."

He wasn’t lying.

Although he wasn’t quite sure if what he had met was an anomaly.

"In any case, why are you pointing your weapon at me?"

"Because I need to make sure you’re not a fake."

"Oh?"

Liora pulled her gun down and retreated a few steps. At a glance, it did seem like she was no longer alert, but Leon knew. He knew and understood that if he made a single wrong step, she’d shoot him on the spot.

Normally, Leon was confident in dealing with her, but with an eye missing, he didn’t want to take any risks as he continued to smile.

He made casual conversation.

"I take it that the reason you’re so cautious is because of the strange anomaly that lingers in the mist, right?"

"...It can mess with a person’s perception."

"Mhm. I’ve noticed."

Actually, Leon had an idea. The main reason he had gone to ’that’ place was because he was following the strange anomaly to get a better idea of the situation. In the end, things turned out the way they did, and he managed to acquire the data transmitter after a lot of effort.

"We should part ways."

Leon smiled at Liora.

"As you can see, I’m rather injured at the moment. I need some time to properly heal from the situation. Although I would like to team up with you, I’m not in a condition to do so."

"I don’t care about that."

Liora coldly answered as her eyes narrowed. Looking around, she sniffed the air before looking back at Leon.

"Where is he...?"

"Hm? Where is who?"

"Seth."

Liora’s eyes narrowed.

"...I can smell him from you."

***

Spurt—!

"Akh!"

Pain engulfed me as I barely managed to suppress my scream. Looking around, I struggled to keep myself together. Blood leaked onto the floor, spreading across the already reddened surface, stained with layers of dried blood.

How much time had passed?

I couldn’t remember.

The days seemed to pass by in a flash as I left the room every single day to find the exit. I checked new rooms every single day, trying to see if there was any way for me to leave this place, but I’d just be met by the same scene over and over again.

Creaaak! Creaaaak—

’I can’t forget. I can’t forget. I can’t forget.’

I looked at my hand.

Where there should’ve been five fingers, there was only one left.

Every day, I’d sacrifice a new part.

This was the price that I had to pay in order not to let myself forget.

To not let myself forget about my identity.

"Haa... Haa... Haa."

Breathing unevenly, I leaned my head back as I tried my best to suppress the pain.

F-for just how long did I have to do this for?

I was tired. So damn tired.

The pain was real, and each day that passed, I’d have to sacrifice something new. What would happen once I had nothing else left to sacrifice?

"Why...? Why am I even struggling so much?"

The man’s voice whispered inside my mind again.

’What is the point in struggling? You’re already dead anyway.’

’You... killed yourself.’

’It’s obvious that you’ve lived a life of struggle. You’re tired. That’s why you chose to rest. And there’s nothing wrong with that. What’s wrong with resting? You deserve it.’

The voice grew stronger and stronger each passing day, taking over my consciousness as I struggled to deal with the pain.

Yes...

Why was I struggling so much?

What even was the point of my doing all of this?

From the start, all I wanted was to live a normal life without any disease taking over my life. However, it was clear that I had already died. Why was I still struggling despite knowing that I was dead?

Why?

Why...?

’What is it that is pushing you to leave this place?’

I don’t know.

’Is it the very idea of dying bad for you? But what is wrong with that? So long as you eat, sleep, have fun, and do everything that you want, what’s wrong with letting yourself die?"

I don’t know. I don’t know.

Holding my head with both hands, I mumbled, "...I don’t know."

But still—

Forcing myself up, I moved out of the room.

Or at least, I tried.

The curtains behind me billowed as a soft breeze brushed into the room.

"You’re going again to look for the exit?"

My steps came to a stop, but I didn’t answer.

I couldn’t answer.

Instead, I reached for the blade and tried to cut off a new finger.

But—

"Coward."

My movements came to a stop.

"You’re merely using pain to escape from the reality of your situation. Deep down, you know the real reason you don’t want to accept this. It’s not because you don’t want it, but because you’re afraid of leaving the people who rely on you alone. You’re overrating yourself."

The voice drew closer, whispering close to my ear as my heart shook.

"Kyle is already considered a Paragon. Even without you, his life will be great. The same goes for everyone else in the Guild. Now that the Guild has reached the King-Grade, they will have a lot more resources and renown."

"....."

"Is it your squad that you’re worried about?"

Yet again, I couldn’t respond.

There was something about the voice that made it impossible for me to reply.

It felt hypnotizing.

But...

"I am worried."

My voice soon flowed out on its own.

What?!

That’s not what I meant to say.

"Is that so?"

For some reason, even though I was looking away, it almost felt as if I could still see the figure standing behind me.

It was smiling.

So widely that it almost felt twisted.

"You’re worried about them? But why?"

"Because they rely on me."

No, this isn’t me speaking!

"No, it is you. This is your true thoughts."

Impossible!

"Nothing is impossible. Especially when you know it yourself."

No, no!

"But are you sure they’ll struggle without you?"

"...They won’t."

——!

"You know it, right?"

"I know it."

Know what?!

"Ariel alone can do what you can’t do. She’s much more suited to leading the team than you are. With her, they can climb places that they’ll never reach with you. In that case, what are you useful for?"

I...

I....

"Will there be anyone who will miss you?"

".....No."

"So why do you keep struggling?"

The voice pressed closer into my ears. My body shook alongside the whisper.

"You’re struggling for nothing. There will be no one who will miss you even if you were to leave. Is it the Guild Master? But you should be aware that he only cares about results. He’ll just be disappointed in his failed investment."

That’s...

"There’s no one who will miss your death. Why do you cling so much to life when it’s meaningless to stay alive? Just let go."

The voice whispered once more, but this time the whisper felt stronger than ever, sending a deeper tremor through my body.

"Let yourself go and enjoy the things that you deserve. Let—"

"That’s not it..."

I looked at the remaining fingers on my hand and sliced down, cutting them off.

The voice stopped at once.

"I’ve... never cared about what others do without me."

Blood spurted all over the ground as I stared at my fingerless hand. The pain failed to register as I dazedly looked ahead.

"I..."

Shaking my head, I walked towards the exit.

’That’s not it. That’s just not it...’