Zarius Valtrane was a man built on a foundation of cold and calculated silence. In the North, survival didnât just require a sword, it required the ability to remain still while the world screamed around you. He had led armies through blizzards that turned blood to slush, and his heartbeat had always stayed even and controlled.
Until now.
Now, his heart was pounding out of rhythm, something wild and unfamiliar, and the only thing keeping him from losing control was the firm, grounding pressure of his own hands braced beside Cherionâs head.
Beneath him, the healer had clearly lost all composure. Cherion was currently hiding behind a down-stuffed pillow like it was a fortress wall, his eyes darting everywhere, the tent seams, the oil lamp, the discarded satchel, anywhere but at Zarius. It was a fascinating sight. The man who had no problem talking back to him earlier was now a flustered, breathless disaster.
"So," Zarius murmured, his voice sounding deeper. "The Great Southern Healer is actually capable of being embarrassed. I wasnât sure if that was a biological possibility for you."
Cherion was currently a study in shades of crimson, his silver hair fanned out against the dark furs like spilled moonlight. He was still clutching that damn pillow as if it were a tactical riot shield, his eyes darting toward the tent seams.
"Itâs called basic human biology,â Your Grace," Cherion snapped, though his voice lacked its usual bite. "Itâs a perfectly normal physiological response to being used as a human mattress. If youâre done with the structural analysis of my face, Iâd appreciate it if you relocated your gravitational pull elsewhere."
Zarius felt a huff of a laugh escape him. It was a dry, rare sound. He shifted his weight, his forearms bracing on either side of Cherionâs head, purposefully closing the gap until he could catch the faint sweetness of his scent.
"If this is about the kiss," Zarius noted, his eyes narrowing. "I recall telling you, quite clearly, that if you hated the... treatment... you were more than welcome to push me away. My ribs are still intact, Cherion. You didnât even try."
Cherionâs eyes finally snapped to his, wide and flashing with irritation. "Oh, Iâm sorry! My brain was essentially a 404 error page. You donât just âpush awayâ a Northern Duke who decides, apparently, that kissing is part of his winter survival strategy. Thatâs how you get a dislocated shoulder or a very awkward conversation with the manager Iâm currently imagining in my head."
Zarius blinked. "404... manager?"
"Never mind. The point is," Cherion grunted, trying to wiggle an inch to the left, "your âlogicâ is flawed. Silence doesnât equal consent in my book, it equals âI am currently recalculating my life choices.â Now, if you could kindly exit my personal bubble? Weâre currently violating about six different social distancing protocols."
Zarius didnât know what a âprotocolâ was in this context, but he liked the way Cherionâs mouth moved when he was being particularly stubborn. He leaned in, his lips hovering just a breath away from Cherionâs ear, his voice dropping to a rough whisper.
"And if I donât?"
He felt Cherion flinch. It was a tiny movement, a sharp, sudden wince that traveled from his shoulders down to his spine. Cherionâs eyes squeezed shut, his breath hitching in a way that wasnât about heat or excitement. It was the sound of a man waiting for a blow.
The realization hit Zarius like a bucket of ice-water.
He froze. He looked down at the man beneath him, and saw the tension in Cherionâs jaw, the way his fingers were white-knuckled against the pillow. Zarius wasnât teasing anymore. He was looming.
I am acting like a beast
, Zarius thought, a sudden, bitter taste filling his mouth.
He let out a long, heavy sigh that sounded more like a groan of defeat. He pushed himself off the bed and stood up so suddenly the oil lamp flickered. He turned his back to Cherion, walking toward the center of the tent, his hands clenched at his sides.
The silence that followed was heavy. It wasnât the tense, heated silence from before. This one felt hollow, like something had gone wrong.
"I apologize," Zarius said, his voice flat and stripped of its teasing warmth.
Cherion sat up slowly, clutching the pillow to his chest, looking wary and more than a little confused.
"I crossed a line," Zarius continued, still staring at the shadows on the tent wall. "I told myself I was teasing, but I... I have no right to use my position to force a reaction from you."
He turned his head slightly, his profile sharp in the dim light. "I wonât do that again. The... what happened last night. The kiss. I wonât initiate it again. Unless you are the one who asks for it. You have my word as a Valtrane."
Cherion blinked, his silver hair falling over his eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something, maybe a joke to break the tension, but for once, his wit seemed to fail him. He just stared at Zarius, his mouth slightly open.
"You donât need to go sleep with Reiner," Zarius said, his tone regaining its usual commanding frostiness. "This is your tent. Iâll go to sleep somewhere else. Thereâs no reason for you to be uncomfortable because I canât control my own... impulses."
Zarius didnât wait for a reply. He couldnât afford to hear one, whether it was a sigh of relief or another one of Cherionâs sharp, logic-defying retorts, it wouldnât matter. He headed for the tent flap without a glance behind him.
He stepped out into the biting Northern night, and the transition was instantaneous.
The wind hit him hard the moment he stepped outside, a wall of needle-sharp ice that immediately went to work whipping the lingering heat from his skin. Zarius stood there for a long moment, his chest heaving, letting the sub-zero air fill his lungs until his throat felt raw. He needed this. He needed the cold to snap him out of whatever fever had taken hold of him the moment heâd seen Cherion clutching that ridiculous pillow.
He started walking, his boots crunching through the fresh snow.. He headed toward the outer perimeter, ignoring the silent salutes of the knights who looked like statues encased in frost. His mind, usually a fortress of strategic maps and logistics, was a chaotic mess of a single, sharp image, Cherionâs wince.
Zarius pushed into the command tent and found it empty, the maps abandoned and lanterns burning low. The silence felt heavier here. He dropped into the nearest chair, the wood creaking under his weight, and dragged a hand through his hair before covering his face.
A slow breath left him.
This was ridiculous.
He had faced war, death, and storms without hesitation, and yet one man had him unraveling. His jaw tightened. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, staring at nothing.
That flinch.
It replayed again, sharper this time. Zarius exhaled, long and tired, and scrubbed a hand down his face.
Why did I do that? The question gnawed at him. He was the Duke of Valtrane. He was a man who had spent years mastering every impulse, every flicker of emotion, until he was as unyielding as the mountains he ruled.
He didnât "tease." He didnât "loom." And he certainly didnât let a silver-haired healer from the South drive him to the point of behaving like someone who should know better in his own tent.