"BUAHAHAHAHA! No, seriously... stop. My ribs!"
Cherionās laugh went absolutely feral, loud enough to bounce around the room like it was auditioning for surround sound. It was the kind of laugh that made your stomach cramp and your eyes leak. Cherion folded in half, clutching his stomach like it had personally betrayed him, seconds away from sliding right off the chair.
"Oh, Your Grace, you really almost had me there! Thatās a high-tier joke. Truly. Is this a Northern tradition I missed in the handbook? Comedy hour before the sun even finishes rising?"
Beside him, Zarius sat in a silence so heavy it felt like it had its own gravitational pull. Opposite them, Ezek was standing there... or glitching, honestly. The man was stiff enough to qualify as furniture. He looked like heād swallowed a yardstick. Reiner stood by a pillar, hands behind his back, looking like heād accidentally scored front-row seats to a particularly chaotic theater troupe perform for free.
Cherion wiped a stray tear from his cheek, gasping for air. "You? My guard? Ezek?" He pointed a shaky finger at the knight. "Whatās next? Is Marielle going to apply to be my personal therapist? Are we going to start a book club for reformed grumps?"
He waited for the punchline. He waited for Zarius to crack a smile or for Ezek to scoff and walk away. The silence didnāt break. It just... marinated. And Cherion had the distinct feeling he was the only one who missed the group chat. Cherionās laughter died down into a series of pathetic, jerky hiccups.
He glanced at Zarius, no smile, no twitch, not even a courtesy blink. Yeah. That was not a joking face. Then he looked at Ezekās face, which had turned a shade of crimson usually reserved for overripe tomatoes or very embarrassed toddlers.
The realization hit Cherion like a bucket of slushy ice water. The humor drained out of his face, replaced by a look of utter betrayal.
"Wait... youāre actually being serious? For real-for real?" Cherionās voice went up an octave. "Youāre telling me that the man who spent ninety percent of his time accusing me of being a spy and the other ten percent doubting if I even breathe correctly is supposed to be my āpersonal shadowā?"
He whipped his head toward Zarius. "Your Grace, I know youāre all about the āprotect at all costsā vibe lately, and trust me, I appreciate the sentiment, I really do. But this? This is like asking a fox to babysit a chicken. Itās not protection, itās a social experiment."
Zarius shifted just a little, watching Cherion wave his arms around like he was trying to summon something. "He came to me, Cherion," Zarius replied. "He requested the post. I had already intended to appoint a dedicated shield for you before, and Ezek was the first to volunteer. He is, despite his lack of social grace, one of the finest blades in the Valtrane ranks."
Cherion just stared. He was in total disbelief. This was Ezek. The man who had treated him like an unwanted, suspicious outsider from the moment he set foot in this frozen fortress.
"He asked for this?" Cherion muttered, turning his gaze back to the knight.
Ezek looked less like a fearsome warrior and more like an intern who had just accidentally deleted the companyās entire main server and was now waiting for the screaming to start. He was staring at his own boots with such intensity youād think they held the secrets of the universe. The "Cold Northern Knight" persona had completely melted, leaving behind something uncomfortably vulnerable.
He didnāt defend himself. He didnāt even snap back. That made it even weirder.
Cherion stood up, his brain speed-running the pros, cons, and overall life regret potential. He began to circle the knight, walking around him like a shark checking out a particularly shiny piece of bait.
"Ezek, buddy, look at me," Cherion said, his tone dripping with mock-seriousness. "Hypothetical situation: weāre in the garden, and an assassin jumps out of the bushes with a very sharp, very Southern-looking dagger. Are you actually going to save me? Or are you going to stand there taking detailed notes on my āsuspiciousā screaming technique so you can report my lack of bravery to the Duke later?"
Ezekās jaw worked for a moment before he finally looked up. The guilt in his eyes was so thick you could have tripped over it.
"I was... I was wrong, My Lord," Ezek rasped. The words seemed to cost him a significant amount of pride. "I was clouded by stigma. My mind was closed, and I saw shadows where there were only... Well, you. Iāve realized my error. Iāve watched you these past weeks. You arenāt what I thought."
Cherion stopped his pacing. He blinked. Well, damn. A genuine apology? In this economy? It was a strange feeling. In his past life, heād dealt with plenty of toxic bosses and two-faced coworkers, but heād rarely seen someone in armor admit they were a jerk. He took a deep breath, trying to keep things from spiraling any further.
"Fine," Cherion said, crossing his arms. "If you want to be my shield, youād better be a shiny one. Iām talking about top-tier service here. No more grunting at me like I personally offended you just by existing. No more glares that could peel paint off a wall. And absolutely, no more shoving me around like weāre five and fighting over toys. Weāre grown men. Act like it. Deal?"
A flicker of something that looked suspiciously like relief, maybe even happiness, crossed Ezekās face. He nodded so hard he almost looked like a bobblehead.
"Of course, my Lord."
"Donāt get too comfortable, newbie," a dry voice cut through the air.
Reiner, who had been enjoying the show in glorious silence, finally stepped forward. He looked entirely too amused by the whole ordeal. He caught Cherionās eye and gave a subtle smile before turning a chilling gaze toward Ezek.
"Donāt worry, My Lord," Reiner drawled. "If even a single hair on your head is harmed under his watch, I will personally ensure that Ezekās career as a knight ends... permanently. And when I say āpermanently,ā I mean Iāve already scouted out a very deep, very secluded hole in the frozen wastes where the wolves donāt even bother to go."
Ezek snapped back, his composure cracking just enough for a hint of fluster to slip through. "I donāt need your threats to do my job, Reiner! I know the stakes."
Reiner just smirked. "Do you? Because last I checked, your duties seemed to involve glaring at Lord Cherion as if you could set it on fire with your mind. Try to stay awake this time. Or at least, try to keep your eyes on the enemies instead of your own prejudices."
Reiner didnāt stop there. He leaned in, pointing two fingers at his own eyes, then flipping them to point at Ezek, the classic āIām watching youā move. Then, with a slow motion, he balled his right hand into a fist and drove it into his left palm, making a gruesome, squishing motion as if he were mashing a particularly annoying bug.
Ezek audibly swallowed his saliva. The thump-squish sound was the only noise in the room for a second.
Zarius rose to his feet in one clean motion, like gravity simply didnāt apply to him the same way. The air in the room changed instantly, the humor evaporating like mist. "Ezek has been humbled, Reiner. That is enough." He turned to Cherion, placing a heavy, warm hand on his shoulder. "He is yours now, Cherion. His life is forfeit if he fails you. Do you accept this?"
Cherion looked at the hand on his shoulder, then at the knight waiting for his verdict. He felt a weird surge of something... power? No, maybe just the feeling of finally having a team.
"I accept," Cherion said, his voice surprisingly steady.
This time, Ezek didnāt settle for a nod. He went all in, armor rattling as he dropped to one knee. The impact rang out across the floor, loud and final, and Cherion felt it somewhere in his chest.
The awkward puppy was gone. In his place was a man who looked like he had finally found his North Star.
Ezek reached for his sword, drawing the blade just enough to present the hilt toward Cherion, his head bowed low in a gesture of absolute submission. It was a scene straight out of a high-budget fantasy flick, and Cherion found himself holding his breath.
"On my honor, and on my life, I swear to protect you," Ezek said, voice firm. "Your life comes before mine. I will not fail you, Lord Cherion."