Chapter 221: Fear

"But didn’t you say your mother’s dead?" he asked suddenly, rubbing his chin as though it were a simple factual observation.

The air went dead still.

Levy froze, his smile evaporating instantly.

Maria’s jaw dropped, her mouth falling open slightly as her eyebrow twitched hard.

"How.. how insensitive can one person possibly be?" she thought, staring at Razeal in disbelief.

Her lips parted in a mix of annoyance and amazement. The man wasn’t even being cruel that was the worst part. He genuinely had no idea what he’d just said.

Razeal, for his part, sat there completely unaware, looking mildly thoughtful as though expecting a deeper philosophical explanation.

Levy’s lips twitched, his fingers curling slightly into fists before he forced them to relax. He took a slow breath in through his nose.

"Well... yeah," he said finally, his tone flat, every word dripping with restrained patience. "That’s true. She is dead."

He gave a forced smile. "But, you know, that doesn’t change the dream, Boss. You asked for one, I gave it."

Razeal nodded calmly, clearly satisfied with the logic in that answer.

"I see," he said simply, as if it all made perfect sense now.

Levy, meanwhile, stared at him blankly, fighting the powerful urge to punch him straight in the face.

"Oh, and also," he began, looking directly at Levy, "I thought you don’t believe in God. So where did all that talk about heaven and angels come from?"

Levy blinked at the sudden question, his half-finished apple still in his hand. It took him a second to register it.

"Well..." he started, scratching his cheek awkwardly. "I don’t believe doesn’t mean they don’t exist, you know? I mean, I might not be the praying type, but that doesn’t change what could still be real."

He gave a small shrug, forcing a faint laugh that came out half awkward, half sincere.

"And also... even if I don’t believe that much, if there’s any place I’d deserve to go, it’s heaven," Levy said with a small grin, though it carried a faint touch of melancholy. "I mean, only the best few can go there, right? Definitely better than just... dissipating and becoming nothing."

He coughed softly after finishing, as if the weight of his own words had surprised him.

Razeal leaned back in his chair, listening silently, eyes half-lidded as he processed what Levy said.

"Ahh, yes..." he murmured after a moment, nodding slightly.

Remembering as in this world, people only spoke of heaven. There was no concept of hell, no belief in eternal punishment. For them, death was simple: if you lived well, your soul went to a better place. If not, you simply faded into nothingness.

It was a neat idea but again Razeal doesn’t care..

Though his expression remained unreadable as he contemplated to himself..

Levy’s answer hadn’t satisfied him. Not because it was wrong, but because he couldn’t relate.

To Razeal, it sounded naive. The idea of wanting die of mother lap and all.. Just sounds crack bullshit to him.. Maybe because he had never been given that kind of warmth to begin with. Maybe he didn’t have a mother like Levy to dream of. No one to die for...

"Maybe..." he thought quietly, "not everyone’s dreams are meant to make sense to me."

He let the thought pass, lowering his gaze.

Just as silence settled again, Levy.. still a bit awkward from before.. suddenly spoke up, his lips twitching slightly as if unsure whether he should.

"So... what’s your dream then?" he asked, forcing a grin that didn’t quite hide his nerves. "What if I killed you now? Would you be satisfied?"

He had meant it as a tease ..a way to throw Razeal’s earlier question back at him as to make him realise how it sounds.. but as soon as the words left his mouth, regret hit him. His shoulders stiffened. "Ah, crap," he thought, glancing toward him instinctively.

But to Levy’s surprise, Razeal didn’t react the way he expected.

He didn’t glare. Didn’t even look offended.

He just... shook his head.

"I don’t know," Razeal said quietly. "But yes ..I’m looking for it. The purpose. The dream that’ll suit me better."

He paused, his tone steady but thoughtful. "I want to find what makes me happiest.. for my own self. That’s what I’m searching for now."

Levy blinked. "You don’t know?" he asked, sounding both confused and surprised.

Razeal just shrugged, calm as ever.

Levy stared at him for a moment longer. He had expected something completely different something bold, maybe even insane.

He had thought Razeal would say something like ’I’ll destroy this empire,’ or ’I’ll kill the saintess,’ or ’I’ll become the strongest there is blah blah blah shit.’

Something that screamed ambition, or vengeance, or dominance. Anything but that simple "I don’t know."

It was strange.

The man who had defeated Areon, fought Sylva, and challenged nobles and even duke families alike.. all without hesitation was now saying he didn’t even have a dream.

Levy scratched his head, trying to make sense of it.

"Well... that’s kinda weird," he muttered honestly.

Razeal just gave a faint smile, not denying it.

The younger man hesitated for a moment, then leaned forward slightly, his curiosity now mirroring Razeal’s earlier.

"So... umm... how are you this strong then?" Levy asked, his tone cautious but sincere. "I mean, I always heard people become strong because they’ve got a woman behind there back, or a big ambition to fight."

He hesitated, then continued quickly, "But now that I think about it, you’ve got neither... so how?"

He braced himself for an annoyed glare or sarcastic response. But Razeal just looked at him.. calm, almost amused.

"Oh, that?"

Razeal’s tone was casual, almost too calm the kind of calm that carried quiet defiance beneath it.

"Well, I mean... why not?" he said, leaning back slightly in his chair.

He rolled his shoulders lazily and continued, "I just think... this might be one of the things that makes me happy."

His voice was steady, but there was something dangerous under it that faint, flickering edge that showed itself whenever he spoke about the world as if it were a puzzle he’d already solved.

"It’s all around me," he went on. "People like that ..the kids of big names, famous families, noble bloodlines, rich businessmen. People born with everything handed to them."

He gestured lazily with one hand, a small wave through the air as though brushing away invisible dust. "They always act the same like the world bends for them. If something happens, they’ve always got a safety net. They’ll say things like, ’Papa will take care of it,’ or ’My family will handle it.’"

A small grin crept up the side of his face.

"I just like to test that," he said, voice soft but sharp. "To see how far it takes for them to realize that safety doesn’t always exist. That their world can break just as easily as anyone else’s."

He leaned back, folding one arm across his chest while the other rested lazily on the book. "Let’s see when they start feeling something real.. fear, desperation, whatever. Maybe that’s where my own little satisfaction comes from."

Razeal shrugged lightly, like he’d just mentioned something trivial instead of laying bare a personal philosophy.

"I just do it because it makes me feel good," he said, lips curling faintly. "Satisfying, even. Whoever they are ..I just want to remind them that being born with a silver spoon doesn’t mean it won’t melt."

His grin widened slightly as he spoke, the calm surface of his expression breaking into something more feral. "Because me?"

He paused, his voice dipping lower, eyes darkening.

"I made my base alone. Myself. Not flying on anyone else’s name. Not on father, not on anyone’s mother, no inheritance.. Not even anything from this world.. Everything I have.. I built and got with my own hands."

The grin turned faintly manic, his teeth visible now, the kind of grin that wasn’t about joy but about victory.. defiance pride earned from suffering.

Levy stared at him, slightly unsettled. His eyes flicked toward Maria instinctively, unsure if she’d caught the subtle sting in Razeal’s words.

She had.

Maria’s expression had fallen completely blank, but her eyes.. cold and sharp were fixed on Razeal. Her lips pressed into a thin line, and for a second, her jaw twitched.

She didn’t need to say anything; her silence said enough.

Her thoughts, though, were loud. "He’s talking like he wasn’t born into a fucking duke family himself..And she never said her family will take care of anything...Maybe..well she doesn’t remember now.. But.." she muttered inwardly, biting the inside of her cheek. "What a load of self righteous crap."

Still, she didn’t speak out loud. She just turned her gaze toward the ocean again, lips tight, jaw tense, pretending she wasn’t irritated.

Levy caught all that.. her quiet reaction, Razeal’s grin, the strange tension that seemed to thicken the air.

He hesitated before speaking again, his voice breaking the momentary silence.

"But... why?" he asked softly, a frown forming between his brows. "Why is there even a need to?"

Razeal turned his gaze to him, silent, waiting.

"I mean... what’s the point in fighting with them anyway?" Levy continued, shifting slightly in his chair. "You could’ve just... not made enemies, right? You’d still be fine."

He scratched at his neck nervously. "I don’t really know everything that happened, but I don’t think you got much profit from those fights in the Empire, right?"

The conversation, which had started with idle questions, had turned into something heavier.

Razeal’s grin faded a little. His jaw clenched briefly, and for a second, there was a flicker of something darker in his expression something that looked like irritation or even buried anger.

"Well, that.." he started, his tone suddenly sharp, almost venomous. "Who the fuck even wanted to d..."

He stopped mid-sentence. The words hung there for a fraction of a second before he swallowed them down, closing his mouth and exhaling sharply.

He leaned back again, expression flattening. His eyes turned distant.. the brief outburst gone as quickly as it came, replaced by that same indifferent calm.

He shook his head, a soft chuckle escaping him, low and humorless.

He didn’t explain.

Levy stared at him, uneasy. He could sense Razeal had almost said something real something raw but pulled it back at the last second.

The silence stretched between them again, until Razeal finally broke it.

"Let me teach you something," he said quietly.

Levy straightened a little.

"It’s important," Razeal added, tone serious now, eyes narrowing slightly.

"One should.. I believe as long as you have the strength to stand on your own two feet... mess with whoever and whatever you want."

He leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees. The faint light from the lantern reflected in his eyes.

"Because to me," he said, voice growing steadier, "the worst kind of person is the one who has strength but won’t use it.. rather hides it. The one who can fight, but doesn’t. The one who can change something, but doesn’t even try."

He tapped a finger once on the table, the sound sharp in the quiet air.

"Why should you?" he asked, tone lowering. "Why should you hold back?"

It was more a statement than a question.

Levy blinked at him, processing his words, unsure how to respond.

"But you... So" Levy started hesitantly. "Well you don’t feel fear then?"

Razeal tilted his head slightly, eyes focusing on him again.

"I mean," Levy continued, struggling to put his thoughts together, "I just don’t understand how you’re able to do what you do. You definitely can’t be as strong as a Duke, right? And still, I heard you offended Duchess Arabella in front of a crowd, no less?"

He trailed off, his words softening, unsure if he’d just stepped too far.

But Razeal didn’t look offended. Instead, he let out a quiet breath through his nose ..almost a laugh, but without amusement.

"It’s a simple thing," he said calmly.

He paused, his eyes dropping briefly to the table, then lifted them again to meet Levy’s.

"Well, actually, it’s an interesting thing," he said softly. "About fear."

He leaned forward slightly, elbow resting on his knees, hands folded together. His voice lowered, steady and controlled the kind of tone that made people listen.

"Look fear in the eyes," he said. "And it will disappear."

Levy froze, caught by the seriousness in his tone.

"The nature of fear," Razeal continued, "is that you never look at it. People avoid it. They run, they close their eyes, pretend it’s not there."

He leaned closer, his gaze sharp and unwavering. "But if you turn your eyes back.. if you look right at it, face it head-on it stops mattering. Fear doesn’t survive when you acknowledge it. It only grows when you ignore it."

"All you need to do," Razeal said softly, "is do it."

For a long moment, the only sound on the deck was the soft creaking of the ship and the distant whisper of the waves.

Levy stared at him, speechless. The confidence no, the certainty in Razeal’s tone was unnerving. There was no hint of doubt in his voice. He truly believed every word.

"I... Well..." Levy started, but the words caught in his throat.

He wanted to argue, to tell him that fear wasn’t something you could just erase by glaring at it that it wasn’t about fear itself, but about the consequences, the aftermath, the cost that gonna came.

That fear wasn’t the problem. Reality was.

Maybe the people who can say and do those things are the ones who can actually handle what comes next. Maybe it’s better for him to think things through instea because to him, being "fearless" looks more like stupidity than intelligence. After that, he didn’t say anything more about Razeal.

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Thanks for reading, guys!

Sorry I got a little late today... The fever didn’t go down actually, it went up again. But it’s fine now. It’s not that high, just enough to make my brain stop braining for a bit. Maybe I’m just feeling a little off, who knows.

Anyway, the Chapters of days go on, so nothing to stress about, guys 😽❣️

Appreciate the wait! Don’t forget to drop some powerstones and golden tickets! See ya 💫

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