Chapter 74: Fire-side Talks

We continued into the forest at a deliberate pace — not too fast, not too slow.

According to Nisha, our most dangerous enemies in the forest weren’t going to be whoever was probably laying in ambush. It was the owners of the forest. The ones who knew it best.

Night had fallen, so we didn’t venture too deep. Instead, we pushed far enough from the main pathway and built a small fire against the cold. Nisha provided a thick blanket for Emma to sleep in, then handed one to me.

"Here... should keep you warm through the night."

I took the rolled blanket from her hand and placed it at my feet, then went back to staring into the flames.

She watched me for a while, the cantaloupe light dancing across her face, shadows shifting with each flicker.

"You’re not going to sleep?"

"I’ve slept enough."

"Don’t be silly. You’ll need all the strength you can get tomorrow. Sleep."

I stared into the fire for a moment, pressing my lips together.

’How could anyone sleep in a situation like this?’

Knowing that a beast could attack at any moment. Or worse — people watching us from the darkness, and we had no idea. Who knew how truly wide the church’s influence reached?

"I will," I said. "But before that... can I ask you some questions?"

She said nothing, but the go-ahead was clear in her eyes.

"What’s the situation?"

She shrugged.

"The church has branded you a Heretic. Declared a bounty of ten thousand silver coins on your head. So everybody’s working their ass off right now to collect. Since this only happened yesterday, it’ll take time before news of your... genocide reaches church headquarters." She paused, firelight gleaming in her dark eyes. "Which is why we have to beat the clock."

I asked tentatively, "What happens then?"

She looked at me seriously. Then she chuckled, leaning back on both hands.

"Inquisitors."

"Inquisitors?" I repeated, the word heavy with question.

She looked up first, admiring the stars scattered across the night sky, then brought her gaze back down with a smile.

"They’re the most righteous, most ruthless executioners the Eternal Light Church has ever created. Over five thousand years of history as pure punishers of heresy." Her smile didn’t reach her eyes. "All they need to send is one. One Inquisitor is what it takes to hunt us down if we don’t leave Aetheris within a week."

"Even with Tristan and Levi involved?"

She scoffed.

"Of course everything changes with those two around. And the church knows that too. Tristy’s a thorn in their flesh — they’ve been trying to eliminate him for a while. But I don’t know why they hesitate. I have no idea what that guy has over them." She shifted, adjusting her position. "As for the boss... well, while the church persistently hunts us, they also can’t do without us. The righteous need sinners to be righteous. The good need bad to be good. That kind of thing."

She studied my expression, reading whatever was written there.

"All these things together? They tie both Tristy’s and the boss’s hands regarding how much they can personally interfere."

"Hence why they sent you," I said slowly. "And are cleaning our trails instead."

She nodded. "As much as the boss is helping you, we can’t entirely jeopardize the company’s profit. Not even for you. As far as things go..." Her voice hardened slightly. "You made a very big mess. Everyone out to get you right now is doing it in righteous anger." She paused. "And of course, for the money."

I gritted my teeth and stayed silent for a long moment. Finally, I managed, "Is it bad that I don’t regret my actions?"

She went quiet. Then a warm smile appeared on her striking face.

"Well, you should. Because when you do regret something but act anyway? When you’re presented with a difficult decision and choose despite the cost? That’s when you’re truly beginning to live."

My gaze fell to the lower flames, watching them consume the wood.

"Then what do I do with all this rage?"

’Because it’s still there. Still burning. And I don’t know where to put it.’

Nisha chuckled, a knowing sound.

"You’ll need it to reach that point." She exhaled, her voice rising slightly. "All of us need definition. We need reasons. But they don’t come out of the blue, Cade. They’re birthed by the decisions we make, the things we feel, the goals we need to achieve. I’ve seen people become what they need to be to accomplish their goals. I don’t blame them." Her tone shifted, carrying respect. "On the contrary, I respect those who recognize and acknowledge their nature."

Now she sounded irritated. "Unlike the church that lies to everyone... perpetrating vicious and terrible acts but daring to call themselves righteous. The most shameful thing is to be blind to your own nature. To lie to yourself."

She shook her head, truly disgusted by them all.

I nodded slowly.

"I see..."

’She said a lot of things I don’t fully understand. Philosophy was never my strong suit.’

But for now, I’d hold on to the bottom line: I could go ahead and get angry. Destroy whatever I wished to destroy. In fact, I probably should, since that seemed to be the only way to reach that point where I’d have to make a decision — a decision that would define who I was.

And when I made that decision, I’d have to own it completely.

I didn’t know what choice I’d make. Didn’t know if I could own anything with my full chest. I was a shameless guy who’d never wanted any part of this thing called the seriousness of life.

And yet.

Here I was, having these talks.

She looked at me, firelight making her eyes seem almost amber.

"Tomorrow will be a long day, Cade."

I exhaled heavily.

"Can I at least summon my spirit?"

Her gaze tightened, sharpening.

"No. Any slight spike of spirit essence could attract things we’re not prepared to face. It’s best to lay low like this."

I sighed.

"Alright. You can wake me if you need to sleep."

She laughed softly.

"Being a gentleman?"

I caught a glimpse of her pulling out a brown leather gourd as I slid into the blanket.

"Good night. Try not to get drunk."

She chuckled, uncorking the gourd.

"I wouldn’t be able to, even if I tried."