Chapter 457: Embark your true self

When Masaki was in the kitchen preparing the Napolitan, Fumiya couldn’t handle it anymore and approached him. “Master, is it really alright?”

“What do you mean?” Masaki asked with doubt.

“I mean… are you not going to say anything about how he has become a scumbag, dating two girls at the same time and hurting them!” Fumiya didn’t understand why Masaki didn’t say anything and just surprisingly accepted the fact that Shishio had become a scumbag. If it was him, he would say two or three sentences, telling the girl besides Shishio that it was better to date him since he would be loyal and take care of her dearly.

After all, Fumiya must admit, even if Saki’s expression was quite fierce. She was so beautiful that it caused his heart to skip a beat, especially when her expression was softened.

Unfortunately, Fumiya could only look from a distance, and Saki would never be his. He also didn’t have the guts to say anything and could only watch Shishio in jealousy.

Still, without a doubt, Fumiya felt unacceptable, wondering why Masaki didn’t say anything.

‘Is it because he’s his type?’

Fumiya suddenly thought and could only sigh since a handsome guy was really unfair. After all, he also knew Masaki was gay and thought Masaki was quite lenient toward Shishio because Shishio was his type, which was quite understandable in his head.

However, Masaki could only laugh. While he didn’t know what Fumiya was thinking, he also understood why Fumiya was jealous. “Well, Fumiya, you think he’s wrong?”

“Of course!” Fumiya nodded without hesitation.

“By the way, I am gay. I like men. Do you think it is wrong?” Masaki asked with a smile.

“…Of co—.” Fumiya stopped, talking since he knew he had almost said something wrong.

“You don’t need to deny it. It’s normal for someone to think that I am wrong since, normally, a couple should be a pair of a man and a woman. The opposite gender loves each other. However, I like a similar gender.” Masaki smiled and patted Fumiya’s chubby stomach. “On the other hand, while Shishio-kun is a scumbag, I can see her girlfriends are happy with him. I think that’s the most important thing about love. As long as everyone is happy, it’s alright. Whether it is wrong or right, it doesn’t really matter when you love someone.”

It was normal to label something in this country.

Everyone had to do something similar to each other, following order, without causing trouble.

If there was someone who broke that order, the group would try to isolate that person, turning that person into a loner, or worse, being bullied.

Masaki was like that, and it was also the reason why he was being disowned by his family. When he decided to embark on his true self, while he was happy, it was impossible for society to accept it. He could only group up with the people who were being isolated by society, work in the gay bar, and slowly build this cafe.

It was also the reason why Masaki didn’t want to judge Shishio’s way of life, and as long as that person was happy, it was enough.

However, Masaki also understood that Fumiya didn’t understand, and it was okay since no one asked them to understand. “It’s okay if you don’t understand.” He patted Fumiya’s shoulder gently and said, “After all, even if they break up, that girl won’t glance in your direction.” He then walked out of the kitchen and brought the Napolitan that Shishio ordered. “I’ll go out and give him his order first.”

However, Fumiya didn’t hear Masaki’s words, and his body petrified, turning gray, before vanishing into ashes since Masaki’s words were hurt him so much.

“Here you go. It’s your Napolitan.”

“Thanks.”

Shishio and Saki ate Napolitan together.

Still, it was Saki, who was being fed by Shishio, and she was quite shy and blushing.

“Is it good?” Shishio asked.

“Um.” Saki nodded shyly.

“….”

Masaki, Ayako-san, and all the female guests could only stare at them enviously. Even if they knew Shishio was a scumbag, they were okay with it since they were happy being fooled by him!

Masaki was on the side, biting his handkerchief in tears.

However, Shishio decided to ignore Masaki since his presence would lower his appetite.

While pouring some tabasco and parmesan cheese, Shishio asked, “Masaki-san.” However, his words were cut by Masaki.

“Marie!” Masaki glared at Shishio.

“…Okay, Marie.” Shishio nodded helplessly and asked, “Can I interview you?”

“Oh!” Masaki was surprised and asked, “What do you want to interview me for?”

“I want to write a book, and one of the characters is someone like you,” Shishio said honestly.

“What? You want to put a ladyboy as a character in your book?” Masaki was even more surprised, but then he frowned and asked, “Will you put this character in a good light or bad light?” The image of the ladyboy in the society wasn’t good, so even if he had a good impression of Shishio, he didn’t want him to write something bad about a ladyboy, so in case, he wanted to know what kind of character Shishio was going to write this ladyboy character was.

“As a parent.” Shishio didn’t dodge Masaki’s gaze and said, “I want to picture this character as a mother and a father figure. Two in one.”

“…” Saki, who was eating Shishio’s Napolitan since it was more delicious than she had thought, was quite dumbfounded.

Masaki was also quite surprised, but then he smiled gently. “I agree. What are you going to ask?”

Being a ladyboy in this country wasn’t easy, not only because everyone had to be the same and follow the order, so they wouldn’t be isolated. However, if they become a ladyboy, without a doubt, they would be isolated and be seen in a strange light from time to time.

Then what if the ladyboy became a parent?

Would their children be okay?

What would they be? A father? A mother? Or both?

There were many things that one wanted to ask, but without a doubt, it would be challenging to raise a child when one was a ladyboy.

When Shishio said he was going to make the character of the ladyboy a parent, Masaki agreed without hesitation. It might also be because he knew he wouldn’t have a family in the future, he opened this cafe and got to know many customers, and they even talked about their problems to him. It might seem like he was kind and gentle, but the truth was, he was also quite lonely.

If Masaki could lie to himself, he might not lose his family, and he might even have his family, whether it was a wife or children. However, he couldn’t lie, and he had to live alone in loneliness. It was also the reason why he treated everyone kindly, so they would also treat him kindly, so he wouldn’t feel lonely.

It might seem absurd, but this was how he was, and this was how he lived.

Some people might say it was wrong, some people ignore it, and some people might support him.

However, it didn’t really matter since Masaki didn’t ask anything, and he just wanted to live like he wanted to, following his heart.

Everyone has their own way. Whether it is Masaki or Shishio, they have their own way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.

Still, Masaki was interested in Shishio’s interview since Shishio asked him about the experience of a ladyboy when they became parents. He had many friends, and many of them were also ladyboys. Of course, many of them were single without children, but some had children.

“How can they have a child?” Saki asked curiously.

“There’s a sauce on your mouth,” Shishio chuckled and wiped the sauce on Saki’s lips.

Saki was embarrassed, but she obediently let Shishio wipe her lips.

While Masaki was jealous of Saki, he answered her question. “Well, some of them are being adopted, but many of them are normal, so they have married and even have children. It isn’t until later that they try to be true to themselves and become a ladyboy.”

“Is that okay? Is it worth it to abandon a family so they can become themselves?” Saki was confused, wondering whether it was worth it to abandon a family so they could be themselves.

Masaki became awkward in this situation since it was normal to think it wasn’t worth it to become true to themselves with the price of abandoning their family. Even now, he also felt regret that he couldn’t visit his father’s funeral and could only come to his graveyard when everything ended in silence, alone, without anyone.

Still, before Masaki answered, Shishio said, “Don’t say that, Saki. Not being able to be true to themselves is a scary thing, you know?”

“Scary thing?” Saki looked at Shishio in confusion.

“If I have to say, it’s like you’re living, yet you’re dead. You have to act, you have to lie, and you feel you might feel better to die,” Shishio said.

“Is it so serious?” Saki was surprised.

“It’s that serious.” 2x

Shishio and Masaki said at the same time.

Shishio didn’t say much and looked at Masaki, who answered Saki’s question. “It’s like your eyes are blindfolded, your ears are plugged, your nose is pinched, and your mouth is closed. You’ll be blind, deaf, mute, and drown. It’s a scary feeling that it feels better to die.”

Masaki must admit that he was glad to embark on his true self, but he would lie if he didn’t have regrets.

“Still, not everyone is strong, and they can’t follow you, Marie.”

Not everyone had the courage to embrace themselves since the price they had to pay expensive.

“That’s true.” Masaki nodded and said, “It’s also the reason why there are many of the ladyboys who become one when they have married.”

In other words, a middle-aged crisis.

Well, there were many reasons why everyone decided to become true to themselves, but let’s discuss that matter aside.

Saki nodded, and the story she learned was deeper than she had thought.

The three talked to each other before Saki asked, “What about the job? Isn’t it hard to get you to become a ladyboy?”

Shishio looked at Saki speechlessly. He was the one who wanted to interview Masaki, yet this girl became more curious about the life of the ladyboy.

“Of course, it’s hard. The majority of ladyboys are in poverty, and they can only work in the service industry. If they’re lucky, they might receive an inheritance from their parents. If they’re talented, they might become an artist or fashion designer. If they’re beautiful or handsome, they can work as a model. However, it is impossible for them to get a normal job like in the office or a civil servant.”

It was important to keep the image of the company and the country. Therefore, it was impossible to hire a ladyboy.

“Hmm…” Saki nodded and could see how hard the ladyboy was. While her family was hard, she realized there were many people who were living even harder than her.

Masaki thought of something, then suddenly smiled. “If you’re curious, how about you two follow me later after my cafe closes?”

“Where?” 2x

“The place where the ladyboys are working. Are you not curious?” Masaki asked with a mischievous smile.

“….” 2x

Shishio and Saki looked at each other, and they made up their minds at the same time.

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