[Maestro, are you sure thatâs English? We have established that the power of [Chaos], combined with Logos and Pathos fiddling with your brain, makes it so you can understand most languages and autotranslates.]
âI am aware, Hurricroak, which is why I turned it off a for a bit while staring at the sign. Thatâs English, and if I had to make a guess based on the wording, itâs American English no less.â
[What makes you say that?]
âBecause Nepherage, that top name in Hoof Speech letters is a mistranslation. The name of this place is actually Jackâs Diner, and diners are basically an American thing.â
[Ah.]
âReminds me of a lifetime ago...regardless, this leads to a bigger question.â
[Which is...]
âWhat version of Earth is this guy from?â
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On a certain blue planet, in the middle of nowhere, was...a diner.
To those who donât know what a diner is, theyâre basically inexpensive restaurants that specialize in simple foods like hamburgers, sandwiches, fried chicken, or anything one would eat for breakfast. Basically, anything that could be prepared on short notice and in relatively quick manner. They also typically provide coffee, milkshakes or some kind of pie, but that depends on the place.
At a first glance, this diner was incredibly...typical and generic.
On the outside, it was a one story building with aluminum metal walls, windows all around it and a big neon sign that read, "Jackâs Diner". Meanwhile, the insides were even more typical.
One side of the diner was a series of empty booths, the seats being made of a dark blue leather while the tables themselves metal lined composite wood with a glass cover. While on the other side, was long counter accompanied by at least a dozen stools that were bolted into the ground. Pass that counter was the main kitchen area, where diners could see and smell their food being prepared, alongside the coffee being brewed in large, cylindrical machines.
There was even an old style jukebox sitting in the corner.
However, it should be noted that this diner had not one, but two secrets to it.
The first, and more mundane, secret was that the owner of the diner, the titular Jack as it were, just so happened to live in the diner.
There was a room in the very back of the establishment, which was essentially a medium sized apartment. Supposedly, it used to be one of two walk-in freezers, but the generator for it broke a long time ago.
As such, Jack used the space as living quarters since it was significantly cheaper than renting or buying a house.
Perhaps it wasnât an ideal way to live, but it was his and he wouldnât have it any other way.
"Ahhhh-haaa. That was a good rest...what time is it? Oh...okay, time to get ready for the breakfast rush," Jack yawned as he made his way out into the main kitchen area from his apartment.
The second secret was a bit more... fantastic.
"Ground beef, check. Bacon, check. Filets from Black Thorn Tilapia, check. Geode eggs from a Rock Feather Fowl, check. Sapphire eggs from Azure Lightning peacock, check..."
Jack didnât exactly know when or why it happened, but for some inexplicable reason, a very strange door appeared out of nowhere and attached itself to a blank piece of wall where Jack was originally going to place a statue of Elvis Presley. Thankfully, he didnât.
"The pies should be done baking by now and...wait, did I use the Ruby Crystal Cherries or Garnet Crystal Cherries? Shit..."
Eventually, Jack learned that the door in question was somehow connected to another world, one that was called Valresta.
"Alright, todayâs special is gonna be a Cockatrice Omelette stuffed with Dryadâs Delight fungus and...salsa done Efreeti Republic style...for now. I should probably ask Miss Aranea for another batch of ingredients, soon."
When he initially discovered this door, Jack freaked the hell out of his mind.
How else would one react when they discover a literal doorway to another world appearing in their place of work/living space?
After some time, learning about Valrestaâs vast array of deliciously strange ingredients, and getting a few customers from this strange doorway(as well as realizing that they paid in precious metals), Jack eventually settled on the idea of being his worldâs (probably) only isekai diner.
After confirming everything was in place, Jack proceeded to position himself behind the dinerâs main counter and mentally prepare himself for the arrival of customers from the other side.
The only downside is that he didnât know who would walk through that door until it happened.
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*Bing-Bong*
Please note that Hoof Speech is vaguely close to English, but there are some words that donât translate one to one.
As such, these words will have () to show the difference.
As for which words will be in English and which ones will be Hoof Speech...that shall be left to the readers.
Thank you, sorry for the interruption.
*Bing-Bong*
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The Zhen Clan had no idea what to expect when they entered the unassuming building with the name of "Cafe Jack".
It didnât look all too impressive on the outside, carrying the aesthetic of a recently built frontier style building, and it didnât even have any windows that could show them how it looked on the inside.
However, the moment they crossed that door, they were pleasantly surprised.
Well, most of them were.
"Whoa..."
"This is...different."
"I simultaneously love the look, but hate it at the same time. Feels cheap yet...homey."
"It smells like bacon and sugar, I immediately love this place."
âHoly shit...this...this is an actual diner!,â Zhen Liu thought in alarm.
From the curved ceiling, the possibly faux leather booths to the singular counter and jukebox in the corner, this place looked exactly like one of the diners that lined highways back home or were located in the middle of literal bumfucking nowhere. There were even several pieces of memorabilia from the American 50s-70s era.
It was...strangely nostalgic.
A feeling that was soon compounded the moment he heard the ownerâs voice.
"Hello and welcome to Cafe Jack (Jackâs Diner). Feel free to sit where-oh! Miss Aranea, what a nice surprise! You normally only come every other day, whatâs the occasion?"
"Oh, no big occasion, Jack. Just here to get breakfast. This is my employer, Patriarch Zhen Shi, and his family. Hope you donât mind the big party."
"Nah, nah! More the merrier!"
âOkay, that was clearly English with a clear Southern accent...wait a minute, why did he sound native to me for a second?â
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=Oh, well, this is as good as time as any to bring it up, but you know how in your head, Radiant Featherâs language sounds vaguely French?=
âYes...â
âHoof Speech, by your definition, is a mix of American Southern and a touch of Bostonian...kind of? If you go to the Golden Horns Confederacy, they lean very heavily on the latter.â
âThat...that makes a little too much sense.â
âRight???â
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"Hang on a minute, are you by any chance the patriarch of the Zhen Clan? The guys with all dem aether beasts(magic creatures)?"
"Uh...yes," Zhen Shi confirmed, a bit stunned by Jackâs straightforward demeanor. He was briefly reminded of his auntie in that exact moment, but quickly shook the thought out of his head.
That said, he got the feeling if they ever met, they would get along a little too well.
"Well, shit! I owe you guys a huge favor (helluva debt) or two!"
"You do? Whatâd you do?"
It should be noted that that latter question was aimed at Aranea (Arachnidame).
"Honestly, not much," Aranea replied.
"Not much?," Jack protested in disbelief. "Aranea helped to clear out some bad eggs(punk ass bitches) from my establishment and then helped to supply me ingredients after those bastards came back for revenge," he explained. "In return, she gets a free cup of coffee every time she comes in, while the Zhen Clanâs members all get a discount on meals. Hey! Since this the first time the patriarch (big boss) himself is here to eat, consider this meal on the castle (on the house)."
"Huh?"
"He means itâs free."
"Ah...well then, itâd be rude not to take you up on that offer. Feel free to sit wherever, everyone."
Given the go ahead, the Zhen Clan members immediately filled up most of the booths and a couple of the counter seats.
During this process, Zhen Liu shot Aranea(Arachnidame) a bit of judging glare the moment it registered that she was getting regular cups of free coffee.
A little known fact about spiders is that they can get drunk off caffeine. In other words, Aranea has been drinking a mug of what was essentially her equivalent to whiskey practically every other day.
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âArachnidame...are you good? Do we need to stage an intervention?â
[Itâs fine, young master. You should know that despite me being part spider, coffee doesnât have the same effect on me as it does in lesser arachnids. For me, itâs just a lite tingle.]
âIf you say so...â