Chapter 149 : I Cant Hold It Anymore

Jax followed Seris’ aunt through the hallway.

Each step felt heavier than the last.

Behind him walked Sylvie and Astrid. He could hear their footsteps. Feel their curious gazes on his back.

But his mind was elsewhere.

’What the hell do I even say when I see her?’

The question had been circling his head since the carriage ride.

’Should I just be blunt? Tell her everything? Confess?’

His heart said yes.

But deeper down, something held him back.

’Not now. Not after everything she’s been through. Not after she lost her husband. Not after she nearly died.’

And definitely not in front of these morons trailing behind him.

A vision flashed through his mind. Adelina. Unconscious. Pale. Her lips moving weakly.

"Jax... Jax..."

Chanting his name like a prayer.

His resolve hardened.

’Fuck all of them. I’m telling her everything.’

Then his thoughts shattered.

Through a window, he spotted her.

Adelina. Sitting up in bed. Talking with Seris and a small boy.

Which would be her son.

Jax’s heart raced.

She looked sad. Tired. Pale. But alive.

He stepped through the doorway.

All eyes turned to him.

Jax froze.

His mouth opened. Nothing came out.

Seris looked shocked. The child was confused, looking between the adults trying to understand what was happening.

And Adelina?

The sadness on her face melted away. Replaced first by shock. Then relief. Then something that made his chest tighten.

A smile.

She was sitting in her bed, back supported by pillows. The moment she saw him, her posture stiffened. Alert. Aware.

Jax moved toward her.

The room fell into dead silence.

He sat on the edge of her bed. Reached out. Took her hand in his.

Her skin was pale. Cold. Fragile.

Before he could ask about her health. Before he could say anything at all.

SLAP.

Her palm connected with his cheek.

Hard.

The sound echoed through the room.

Jax’s head turned from the impact. His cheek burned.

Adelina’s smile was gone. Her expression serious. Almost angry.

’I went too far.’

The realization hit him.

Holding her hand. In front of everyone. In front of her child. After everything that happened.

They must have told her. How he protected her. Cared for her. Fed her with mouth. Carried her. Stayed by her side when she was unconscious.

And now it was all exploding in his face.

He sighed internally.

’Why do I feel like I’m losing everything?’

But then.

Her hand moved.

To his cheek. The same spot she had struck.

She rubbed it gently. Her touch soft. Apologetic.

"Why would you do that?"

Her voice cracked.

"Why would you risk your life? No. Not risk. You threw your life away."

Jax met her eyes.

"Because they hurt you."

Simple. Direct. True.

Adelina’s composure cracked further.

"And you think throwing your life away for me wouldn’t hurt?"

Her voice rose.

"Jax, if that had happened. If you had died because of me."

Tears welled in her eyes.

"I don’t know how I would have lived with that guilt. I would be more broken than you could ever imagine."

Jax watched her.

This wasn’t an act which he was used to. Wasn’t a performance for the audience around them.

She had opened up completely. Said what her heart demanded. Without considering who was listening. Without caring about appearances.

And that.

That healed something inside him.

The pain from the slap. The fear of rejection. The uncertainty that had plagued him for days.

It all faded.

’Fuck it. Fuck everyone watching. I’m saying what I feel.’

Whether it pushed her away or not.

"Adelina."

His voice was steady now.

"Remember when you described me? Back when we slept in the same bed. When you were patting my hair in that dwarf village."

She looked at him. Listening.

"You were wrong about most things you said about me."

He paused.

"Except one. Being scared."

Her eyes widened slightly.

"I don’t know when that feeling crept back into me. Fear. I had eradicated it from my life when I was just a child. Killed it. Buried it. Forgot it existed."

His voice grew heavier.

"But you changed that."

He looked down at their hands. Still intertwined.

"For the first time in years, I felt scared. Terrified. I was trembling every time a thought entered my mind."

His grip on her hand tightened.

"The thought of you being dead."

Silence.

"Until I rescued you, that thought haunted me. Every second. Every moment. What if I was too late? What if she’s already gone?"

His jaw clenched.

"I wanted to burn this world if that had happened. Burn it all to ashes. Every kingdom. Every city. Every person who stood in my way."

His eyes met hers.

"Even my stupid ass wanted to kill the gods for what they did. For letting this happen to you."

He laughed bitterly.

"And trust me. I was serious."

Adelina said nothing. Just listened. Her hand warm in his.

"And when I rescued you? Things got worse."

His voice broke slightly.

"I heard you. Chanting my name while you were unconscious. Over and over. Jax. Jax. Jax."

A tear formed in his eye.

"I was broken. Scared all over again. Because I wasn’t able to protect you. Wasn’t there when you needed me the most."

He shook his head.

"I don’t know if what I did after was right. Hunting them down. Making them pay. I don’t know if that was me taking out my anger. My frustration. My failure as a..."

He stopped.

Couldn’t finish the sentence.

"Or maybe I wanted to tell the world. Show everyone what happens when you dare to touch my..."

He stopped again.

Then the tears came.

Flowing freely down his cheeks.

"I’m sorry, Adelina. For making you worried. And genuinely, you don’t have to worry about this bastard."

His voice cracked completely.

"He isn’t worthy of your—"

She didn’t let him finish.

Her arms wrapped around him. Pulled him close. Pressed his tear-stained face against her chest.

She said nothing.

Just held him.

Let him cry.

Let all the emotions he had bottled up finally flow free.

The room was frozen.

Everyone had witnessed something they never expected to see.

A confession. Or perhaps something deeper. A bond that transcended simple words.

Astrid’s jaw hung open. Unable to process what she was seeing.

Seris’ brother was completely clueless. Looking around at the adults. Wondering why everyone was acting so strange.

Seris’ aunt stood petrified. Her proper noble sensibilities shattered by the raw emotion unfolding before her.

And Seris?

She was shocked beyond words. Her mouth opened and closed repeatedly. Wanting to say something. Anything. But nothing came out.

A hand landed on her shoulder.

Sylvie.

She leaned close and whispered. "It’s okay. Let it happen. For the good."

On the surface, Sylvie was smiling warmly. Supportively.

But inside?

Inside, she was grinning like the devil herself.

’Mission accomplished.’

Her entire purpose for coming here. Abandoning her kingdom. Drowning her sister in the aftermath of war. All of it was for this moment.

To witness what was happening between these two.

Her curiosity had always been intolerable. Uncontrollable. And now it was satisfied.

’Poor Roxana. You’ll need to work much harder for him now.’

Her eyes drifted to Astrid.

’And let’s not forget. You have another competitor entering the ring.’

She giggled internally.

’Hihi.’

The rest of the day passed in a blur.

Conversations flowed. Stories were shared. But the confession that had happened? The raw emotion that had been displayed?

Adelina deflected it all.

Every advance. Every hint. Every opening Jax tried to create.

She turned them into motherly praise. Or motherly scolding. Treating him like a son who had done something reckless but admirable.

They discussed his rampage through Meridax. Sylvie took the lead on storytelling. Acting as the perfect wingman. Boosting Jax at every opportunity.

"You should have seen him. Absolutely blinded by his need to protect you. Nothing else mattered."

"He fought an entire army. Alone. For you."

"His Eyes and mind was burning only for you"

She painted him as the ultimate hero. The devoted protector.

Of course, she left out the parts where he fucked the enemy champions. Some details were better kept private.

But every time she tried to push the narrative toward romance, Adelina redirected.

"He’s always been reckless. That boy needs someone to scold him properly."

"Such a brave young man. Reminds me of soldiers I’ve treated before."

"He should take better care of himself. What would his mother think?"

Motherly. Always motherly.

Then she changed the subject entirely. Introduced Jax to her son properly. Told stories about her family. Asked about the academy life.

After eternity of talking.

Jax grew bored.

He didn’t want small talk. Didn’t want family introductions. Didn’t want to pretend like that moment earlier hadn’t happened.

"Adelina needs rest."

He stood up.

"We should leave her alone."

Everyone agreed. Filed out of the room. Including Jax.

Sylvie was satisfied. Her curiosity fed. She departed for Meridax that very evening. Back to her kingdom. Back to her suffering sister who was probably buried under mountains of paperwork.

’Totally worth it.’

-- -- -- --

Night fell.

Jax stood outside Adelina’s door.

He had been standing there for ten minutes.

His hand raised. Ready to knock. Then lowered. Then raised again.

’What the hell do I even say?’

The words wouldn’t come. The courage wouldn’t surface.

Ten more seconds passed.

Then the door opened.

Adelina stood in the doorway. A knowing smile on her face.

"Did you forget? I’m a healer. I can sense any mana signature within my range."

Jax said nothing.

"Come inside."

He followed.

She walked to the bed. Sat on the edge. Faced him.

Still smiling.

"What made you a wandering soul tonight?"

Jax stood there. Processing. Gathering.

Then he let it out.

"You."

His voice was firm.

"It’s you, Adelina."

She watched him silently.

"I’m done being ignored. I’m done having my feelings pushed aside. Deflected. Turned into something else."

He stepped closer.

"I want an answer. Tonight."

His eyes locked onto hers.

"Tell me what you feel about me. Tell me who I am to you. Tell me if you don’t feel the same way I do."

His voice dropped.

"Tell me you don’t love me the way I love you."

Adelina’s lips parted.

But no words came.

He pressed harder.

"I want you, Adelina. I don’t care what people will say. What society thinks. What rules we’re breaking."

His fists clenched at his sides.

"If you’re by my side, I will eliminate any threat. Destroy any obstacle. Solve any problem we face."

He took another step.

"Please. Let me be that shield."

His voice softened.

"Let me be the man who wakes up honored to see your face every morning. Who feels like the luckiest bastard alive just because you’re there."

He reached for her hand.

"Let me be your lover. Let me be your husband."

Silence stretched.

Then Adelina spoke.

"Husband?"

Her voice was gentle. Testing.

"Will you accept me as your wife then?"

Jax’s heart exploded.

"Yes."

The word came out before he could think. Before he could breathe.

"I will."

She tilted her head.

"Even if I’m old?"

"Doesn’t matter."

"Even if I’m not a virgin?"

"Doesn’t matter."

She smiled. Warm. Genuine.

"Even if I have three children?"

"I accept. I accept everything."

He said it without hesitation. Without processing.

Adelina knew.

She could see he hadn’t actually heard the last part. Too caught up in the moment. Too eager to say yes that he had ignored about her Third child.

So she said it again. Clearer this time.

"Even if I am pregnant with another child?"

Jax opened his mouth to agree but then processed it.

"I—"

Then stopped.

The words registered.

"Pregnant?"

His voice came out confused. Strangled.

Adelina smiled. Placed a hand gently on her womb.

"The healer confirmed it. A new core is developing inside me. A new life."

She looked at him softly.

"The seed had already chosen my womb. From what happened two weeks ago."

Jax’s mind went blank.

Then raced.

Her husband. The king. The man who was now very, very dead.

’That motherfucker.’

His thoughts twisted into curses.

’Even from beyond the grave. Even as a corpse rotting somewhere. He still managed to—’