Chapter 168: When Your Professor Destroys Your Heart Then Rebuilds It With Insults

"Professor... who really are you?"

The words hung in the air.

Jax blinked.

"What does that mean?"

Astrid took a breath. Her eyes locked onto his.

"I mean... which one is really you?"

She leaned forward slightly.

"The one who always insults people? Scares them? The arrogant bastard who’s involved in every mess—fighting prince, arguing with professors, making enemies wherever he goes?"

She paused.

"Or..."

Her voice softened.

"The one who cares."

Jax raised an eyebrow.

"The one who’s there when I need someone. The one who shows up at the worst moments and somehow makes everything okay."

She met his gaze directly.

"Don’t lie to me. I’ve seen the other side myself."

Her fingers fidgeted in her lap.

"I’ve seen you giving money to that cat lady at the food stall back at the academy. When you thought no one was watching. I saw the genuine smile on your face not the mocking one you always wear."

She continued.

"I saw the rage in your eyes when Queen Adelina was mentioned. Real rage. Not for show."

Her cheeks flushed.

"And these past few days... how you’ve treated me with care. How you put your life on the line protecting me from that demon."

The blush faded. Replaced by determination.

She leaned closer.

"So tell me. Which side is real? Which is fake? There HAS to be one fake otherwise none of this makes sense!"

Her head lowered.

"And... if you’re in some kind of situation... where someone is forcing you to act a certain way..."

Her voice dropped to almost a whisper.

"You can tell me. I’ll help. I can repay you for saving my life."

She played with her fingers nervously.

"So just say it. Is the chaotic, arrogant, mad side the real you? Or is it—"

BONK.

A light chop landed on her head.

"Ow!"

Jax pulled his hand back.

"Hold your horses, drama queen."

His voice was flat. Unimpressed.

"What the hell are you babbling about?"

He mimicked her voice in the most annoying way possible.

"’My side—fake or real?’ ’Which one is the true you?’"

He made a gagging sound.

"Screw that nonsense."

Astrid stared at him.

"And what was that other garbage? ’The one who cares’? My FOOT cares about you people. I was just being nice so you idiots don’t file complaints about me at the academy."

He scratched his head in annoyance.

"You’re all a pain in my ass, honestly."

Her expression cracked.

"As for saving you?"

He shrugged.

"It was my duty. What would I tell the academy if you died on my watch? ’Sorry, she got eaten by a demon while I watched’?"

He snorted.

"Your father would pull every string in existence to get me fired. Even if it wasn’t my fault. Rich people are petty like that."

Astrid’s face fell.

The hope that had been building in her chest shattered.

"Is... is that so..."

Her voice was barely audible.

Silence stretched between them.

Jax glanced at her.

Her head was bowed. Shoulders slumped. She looked like she might cry at any moment.

Something twisted in his gut.

’Damn it.’

He sighed.

Moved.

Sat down beside her. Both of them facing the crackling fire.

"I don’t know why..."

His voice was quieter now.

"...but I don’t feel good looking at your sad face."

Astrid’s head lifted slightly.

"I really do like seeing your face. Mostly when you’re angry. Or pouting. Or—"

He paused.

"—according to this situation, I suppose I like seeing you laugh too."

She stared at him.

"Astrid, I feel guilty for what I said. But I won’t take it back. As most of it was true."

He leaned back on his hands.

"But let me tell you what you actually want to know."

The fire crackled.

"I’m not complicated. Not like you all seem to think."

His eyes reflected the flames.

"I’m just blunt. I do whatever my mind tells me. I don’t give a shit about this stupid world or its consequences."

He tilted his head.

"That’s all there is to me."

A pause.

"I’m a person filled with ego. And my ego is greater than anything else inside me."

His voice grew distant.

"Greater than logic. Greater than love to me. Greater than even Adelin—"

He stopped mid-word.

Caught himself.

Moved on.

"And when my ego gets hurt—even slightly, I become the monster you’ve been ’babbling’ about."

He counted on his fingers.

"The prince. Zharina. You and Seris. And the latest example—Aeliana."

He looked at her.

"You’ve seen it yourself."

Astrid listened in silence.

"But apart from that..."

He struggled with the next words.

"...I might care. Sometimes."

He scratched his cheek awkwardly.

"Care and love are things I don’t understand well. Never learned them properly. But I’m... slowly figuring it out."

His eyes returned to the fire.

"Problem is, when I care or when I feel something close to love—it comes out wrong. As teasing. Humor. Insults."

A bitter laugh.

"This man you see before you? In his past, he’s been misunderstood by many. Because of his... playfulness."

His mind drifted.

To Earth. To the people he wanted to make friends and then his thoughts drifted to Emma.

To all the bridges he’d burned with his own stupid mouth.

While Jax was lost in thought, Astrid was processing everything.

’He said he likes my face...’

She recalled every interaction. Every "insult." Every mocking comment.

’Was he... was that his way of liking?’

’But he also said he saved me because of duty...’

Her heart couldn’t decide what to feel.

"Jax..."

She used his name directly. No "professor."

"Am I really that annoying to you? That you only cared about me for the sake of your role?"

Her voice was small. Vulnerable.

Jax turned to look at her.

A playful grin spread across his face.

"Of course."

Astrid’s face twisted into a pout.

Pure, concentrated anger.

Jax’s grin widened.

"NOW that’s what I like."

And suddenly, she understood.

He didn’t hate her. This was his language. His twisted, backwards, infuriating way of showing affection.

If he truly didn’t care, he wouldn’t bother teasing her at all.

She was on his "opposite" list.

Which meant... she mattered.

A small smile tugged at her lips.

Then a hand landed on her head.

Patting gently.

Jax opened his mouth probably to deliver another soul-crushing insult.

But Astrid cut him off.

"I’m NOT a kid!"

She swatted his hand away.

"Stop treating me like—"

GRRRRROWWWWL.

The sound echoed through the cave.

Loud. Aggressive. Unmistakably her stomach.

Astrid’s face went nuclear red.

She buried her face in her hands.

’Kill me. Just kill me now. Let me die in this cave.’

Jax stared at her for a long moment.

Then burst out laughing.

"Well then."

He stood up. Stretched.

"If we want to survive this mess, we need to figure out where we are. And along the way—"

He smirked down at her.

"—we’ll calm that beast living in your stomach."

Astrid refused to look at him.

Her face still hidden in her hands.

But beneath her breath, curses flowed like a river.

"Fuck you, Professor..."

"Fuck you, Professor..."

Jax started walking toward the cave entrance.

"Fuck you..."

Her voice grew quieter. Softer.

"...Jax."