The reason I did that to Chris wasn't just because she turned Kazuma into a pervert after losing the betāthough that was definitely part of it. The bigger reason was so I could use a useful Divine Item without interference.
In the original story, there's a Divine Item called the Golden Denden. Shake it, and gold coins pour out. Kazuma ends up getting it, but Chris immediately steals it from him.
I have an inventory, so I wouldn't have to worry about it being stolen, but she'd still pester me endlessly. That's why I decided to use this opportunity to ruin Chris's reputation and make it harder for her to move around freely.
If she keeps bothering me over Divine Item issues anyway, I'm planning to grab her and throw her straight into the royal palace prison.
"Taejin, things went off track, but thanks anyway."
"Nah, don't worry about it. I just couldn't stand seeing someone turned into a pervert because they lost a bet."
Just then, an alarm broadcast rang out from the Guild tower.
Ding! Ding!
[Emergency Quest! Emergency Quest!]
The bell chimed, and Luna's voice echoed over the speakers. Kazuma startled at the sound.
"What's going on this time?"
[All adventurers, please gather at the main gate immediately! I repeat! All adventurers, please gather at the main gate immediately!]
It's here. I spent a ton of money on armor, so I'm short on spare funds. I need to make some money here. I should hurry up and get the Golden Dendenā¦ damn it.
"Yunyun, looks like it's harvest day. Let's get ready."
"Got it!"
"Harvest day? Taejin! What's harvest day!?"
People inside the guild were moving around in a hurry. Kazuma looked panicked as he asked me.
"There's no time to explain. Let's move firstāyou'll see when we get there!"
We headed for Axel's main gate.
"Oh my god, I didn't hear it was today."
"Waaah~ Mommy!"
On the way there, the townspeople looked terrified. They were rushing inside, locking doors, and shutting windows.
"Hey, is this okay? Are monsters attacking or something?"
Kazuma kept asking worried questions as we ran.
"Something like that!"
When we reached the main gate, adventurers, guild receptionists, and staff were already assembled. Luna spotted me and waved her hand while calling out.
"Taejin! You're the strongest person in our town, so we're counting on you today~!"
"Leave it to me, Luna!"
We stepped out in front of the main gate. Kazuma was so tense he swallowed hard. Looking around, I saw that Chris and Darkness were there too.
Well, of course. Kazuma cleaned them out, so they need to make money too.
Soon, a green wave appeared, cresting over the distant hill.
"What is that? What's coming? What even is this emergency quest? Is it a monster attack?"
Kazuma was flustered and kept firing off questions, so Aqua started explaining.
"Did I not tell you? It's cabbage. Cabbage."
"What?"
"In this world, cabbages fly. When harvest season comes and their flavor concentrates, they refuse to be eaten easily. They race across towns and plains, cross continents and oceans, and finally die quietly in some remote wasteland where no one can eat them. So instead of letting that happen, we try to catch as many as we can and eat them deliciously."
It's a completely insane setting. But since KonoSuba is a comedy, I guess it fits.
"This year's gonna be rough!"
"A storm's coming..."
The adventurers threw out lines to ease the tension. Up ahead, cabbages were flying toward us like a swarm of locusts.
"Go!!!"
WOOOOOOOOH!!!
As soon as Uncle Chun-chun gave the signal, the adventurers all charged at the cabbages at once.
"Yunyun! Let's go!"
"Yep!"
I ignored all the crazy stuff Kazuma's party was doing. I poured a huge amount of mana into spamming Steal on the flying cabbages. Yunyun was also casting magic and shooting cabbages down.
Whether Darkness got pummeled by cabbages or Megumin fired off Explosion magic, I didn't care. I just kept casting Steal and storing everything in my inventory.
Once I couldn't see any more cabbages flying in the air, Yunyun and I wrapped things up and handed our haul over to the guild staff. The two of us had caught so many that it took a while to process everything.
"Yunyun, let's head to the guild and eat. I heard this year's cabbage is especially well-ripened and tasty. I'm looking forward to it."
"Can I get to eat delicious food with my friends again today? I'm really looking forward to it too!"
How do I fix Yunyun's speech pattern? It's a shame... Well, time will solve it, I guess.
When we entered the Adventurer's Guild, Chris was bowing her head and apologizing to Kazuma.
"I'm sorry! No matter what, I shouldn't have done that to a rookie adventurer."
"It's fine, I already forgot about it. Thanks to the Steal you taught me, Chris, I caught a lot of cabbages today."
Kazuma isn't exactly a saint, but he's still a decent guy. Yunyun and I went over and joined Kazuma's table.
"Chris, you decided to live a good life now?"
"Because of you, every adventurer glares at me when I walk by! What are you gonna do about it!"
"Well, you should've lived a good life. Instead of helping a rookie adventurer, you bullied him. If it wasn't me, Kazuma would be the one getting those stares. This is all karma."
"You, you son of aā!"
"Kazuma's a rookie adventurer, as everyone knows. He needs a lot of help from the people around him. If his reputation gets ruined like that, he could end up in a really dangerous situation with no one to help him. And then he could die. Who's going to take responsibility for that?"
"Ugh... That's why I'm apologizing..."
Chris looked like she was about to cry again. That's when Darkness changed the subject.
"Chris already said she's sorry, so let's just eat. The cabbage is delicious. You guys should try it."
Yunyun and I ordered stir-fried cabbage and Shuwa-Shuwa.
In the world of KonoSuba, good ingredients have experience points. Dishes made from high-experience ingredients can actually level you up just by eating them. Royals, nobles, and the wealthy eat those kinds of meals all the time, but commoners only get the chance during events like this.
While we waited for our food, Kazuma's party started praising each other's achievements from today.
Aqua:
"You really are a Crusader. That cliff-like defenseānot even the cabbages could break through."
Darkness:
"No, I'm just a tough woman. Being someone's wall is all I'm good for. I don't have any other strengths."
Megumin:
"Aqua's Flower, Bird, Wind, Moon was excellent too. You boosted everyone's morale and used cold water to keep the harvested cabbages fresh."
Aqua:
"Well, it's only natural for an Arch Priest who heals everyone."
Darkness:
"Megumin's magic was amazing! You wiped out a whole group of cabbages in one shot."
Megumin:
"Hmph~ Have you now realized the power of the Crimson Demon Clan?"
Listening to them, I was completely dumbfounded. You crazy bastards, you just caught cabbages! If anyone else heard you, they'd think you fought the Demon King's army! The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I forced myself to swallow them.
Hearing Megumin, Darkness remembered getting hit by Explosion magic today and started getting excited again.
"Ugh~! That kind of firepower! I've never been hit directly by magic like that before."
Kazuma was listening too, and he finally snapped.
"Don't hit me directly!"
"Kazuma, you were pretty impressive too."
That's when Aqua started dragging Kazuma into the praise relay, and Megumin chimed in with her usual chuunibyou flair.
"Indeed. Using your Lurk skill to erase your presence and attacking from behind with Steal... You looked just like a brilliant assassin."
"Kazuma, in my name, I bestow upon you the title of 'Brilliant Cabbage Thief.'"
"Shut up! Ah, seriously, how did it end up like this?"
When Aqua gave him that weird title, Kazuma groaned and buried his head in his arms on the table.
A curse title bestowed by a goddess? I thought. The fact that it took effect immediately means it's pretty powerful.
Darkness took the chance to reintroduce herself.
"I'm glad everyone acknowledges my skill as a Crusader. Let me introduce myself again. My name is Darkness. I use a greatsword for now, but don't expect much from my combat power. I'm clumsy, so my attacks almost never hit. But being a wall is my specialty."
Looks like it's fate for Darkness to join Kazuma's party. Things are going like the original story, which is a relief.
Aqua acted like the party was finally complete.
"Our party's gotten pretty fancy, hasn't it? Me, an Arch Priest, Megumin, an Arch Wizard, and Darkness, a Crusader. A party with three out of four members in advanced classes is rare."
"Then, Kazuma, don't hold back and use me as bait or a wall from now on! If I ever hold the party back, don't hesitate to scold me! You can even discard me like a throwaway card. Ah, just imagining it makes my whole body tremble. I look forward to working with you."
Darkness was getting excited imagining all the things that would happen to her, and she greeted Kazuma enthusiastically. He just sighed like he'd given up on everything.
Darkness gets that excited all the time, and I couldn't help wondering if her panties were okay.
Yunyun seemed to be enjoying the situation, smiling as she ate her stir-fried cabbage. I glanced at Chris because she was quiet, and she was glaring at me with a scowl, stabbing her cabbage with her fork like it was me. I ignored her and started eating my own stir-fried cabbage. It was delicious.
The Next Day
I decided to sleep in a bit since I was resting, but when I woke up, Kazuma and Aqua were already gone. Their bedding was tidied up. They probably went out early, expecting to get paid for yesterday's cabbage harvest. I washed up quickly and headed to the guild.
When I got inside, Aqua was grabbing Luna by her uniform and shaking her.
"What do you mean? What are you talking about! Do you know how many cabbages I caught!?"
Ah, this is the episode where Aqua catches a bunch of lettuce instead of cabbage and gets paid less.
I decided to step in. I grabbed Aqua's arm as she was shaking Luna.
"Hey, Aqua, Luna pulled an all-nighter because of the cabbages yesterday. Why are you doing this to her?"
"Taejin! Listen to me! She says she can't pay me much because most of what I caught was lettuce!"
I checked the pile of Aqua's "cabbages" stacked nearby.
"Hmm... Aqua, this is lettuce. She's right."
Once I confirmed it, Aqua looked like she was about to cry.
"Ugh... Why was there lettuce mixed in..."
Then, as if she suddenly thought of something, her face lit up. She ran over to Kazuma like a girl frolicking in a flower field, acting all cute.
"Ka-zu-ma? How much is your cabbage reward?"
"Around one million Eris."
When Kazuma said one million Eris, everyone turned to stare at him in shock. I haven't gotten my reward yet, so I don't know mine.
Suddenly, Aqua started acting sweet toward Kazuma, like she wanted something.
"Ka, Kazuma-sama~ I've been thinking... you know... for some reason, I've always had a good feeling about you?"
"If you can't think of a real compliment, don't force it!"
When Aqua couldn't think of anything else, she suddenly burst into tears and clung to Kazuma.
"Waaah~ Kazuma! I, I thought I'd make a ton from this reward, so I spent all my money. I figured a lot of money was coming in, so I even ran up a bar tab of almost 100,000."
Kazuma pushed off Aqua, who wouldn't let go, and said firmly.
"What do I care! You're the one who said this reward was each person's own share!!"
"But I thought I'd be the one making the most!"
Aqua was completely hopeless.
"Please, lend me some money! Just enough to cover my tab!"
I figured this was my chance to get an Arch Priest slave, and I could learn skills too, so I decided to help.
"I'll give you the money."
Aqua's face instantly brightened and she ran over to me.
"Taejin~! I knew it! Only Taejin-sama is on my side~~~!"
"But I'm not giving it for free. Two conditions: You teach me the skills I need, and when I take a quest that needs a healer, you support me."
Aqua agreed without even thinking about it.
I'm not sure if this is the right move, but I definitely need Cleric-class skills because of the radiation problem in the bunker. So I don't think it's a bad deal.