Chapter 132 - What A King
People in the royal family were most untrustworthy. People would rather believe the existence of the ghosts in the world than the words that came out of those royaltyâs mouths!
That was wisdom.
The king smiled and said, âFine. With my presence, you will very likely feel restrained. Fine. I will leave after several drinks. I donât want to be the uninvited guest.â
And then he sighed and said, âBrothers who have fought with me side by side in the battle are now distant to me⊠Oh. What a shameâŠâ
He pointed at someone in the crowd and said smilingly, âMeng Lao-Wu, donât hide behind others! You shared one tent with me. I remember there was a midnight when you had loose bowels, you shitted your pants in front of my bed. Donât you remember that? Damn it! You kept saying you were disgraced in front of me. Did you think you were any better before it⊠Now you actually stopped talking to me. Maybe your bald head was even worse than your useless pxnisâŠâ
Meng Lao-Wu was a big guy with a bald head. There were some scars on his face. He rubbed his head and murmured, âYou highness, how could you say that⊠If you didnât secretly make me take some cathartic, how could I shit my pants⊠And now you have seen how embarrassed I wasâŠâ
What he said immediately made everybody laugh loudly!
The king was laughing too. He said, âAnd you⊠You, Han Lao-San, Song Lao-Qi, Bai Xiao-Jiu. And you, you⊠You bastards. We agreed to catch some fish, but when I jumped into the water naked, you ran away with my clothes! I kept covering my crotch and stayed there until the night came. When I just arrived at the barrack, you motherfxkers actually lit up all the torches and shouted. You actually made me naked under the light and let everybody know I am giving some good show⊠I was so embarrassed! Did you actually forget about that?â
He stared at them and acted like he was angry, âYou ungrateful bastards!â
The king kept telling the old stories of them and the atmosphere from before returned a bit.
Some of them said, âYour highness, you canât blame us on that one⊠You canât just tell the story about you being naked. It was in the desolate north. There wasnât even a female rabbit, yet you secretly made us take some philter⊠We have been staying in the cold water for a whole night to get over it. What we did to you was quite a kind respond alreadyâŠâ
The king laughed, âYou lazy shameless fool. You dared to get me naked those years, yet now you are too scared to drink with me. Are you really that of a coward?â
The king had made these men recall their deep memories. They suddenly felt cozy about it. They started to shout, âCome on then! Drink!â
In the old days, they would have probably said âdo you have the guts to drink it up thenâ!
Yet now they truly didnât dare to speak out this kind of words!
âMake it a bottle then! Screw the cups!â The king was heroic and he raised a big bottle, âI will either make you die drinking or make you puke!â
âWait, wait, wait⊠Your highness.â Meng Lao-Wu got over and said, âJust in case. I think I have to check your bottle. It could be a bottle of water. We all know you. You always play a scheme while drinking. We are vulgar men, but we are not fool. We can be fooled once, but never again. We remember things anywayâŠâ
People laughed loudly when
they heard him. They shouted together, âGood point! Good words! Go on! Check the bottle!â
Meng Lao-Wu checked the bottle and found that it was really a bottle of water. He was shocked, âWell, your highness. So many years have passed and you still do this. I am admiring youâŠâ
The king rubbed his nose and was embarrassed, âYou son of bxxch. How dare you disgrace me like this. I am not gonna forget thisâŠâ
âPunishment! Punishment! That was so over. HahahahaâŠâ People started to shout together.
Behind the king, there was an old eunuch with a white face. He was holding his belly laughing and gasping at the moment. He spoke brazenly and weakly, âOh your highness, it is so funny here. What you said truly made me laugh to death⊠I felt like I got impotent immediatelyâŠâ
The generals and the king who had been laughing together were now quiet. They looked at the old eunuch for a while. And then the king finally spoke, âYou⊠Got impotent?â
The old eunuch wiped the tears on his eyes and said happily, âYes⊠I felt like I got impotent at onceâŠâ
âPuff!â
The king spat out the liquor he had just drunk and laughed. The generals all burst into laughter that seemed to shake the heavens.
[A eunuch⊠actually said that he got impotentâŠ
That was brilliant!
Does he still have that thing down there?]
Because of this joke, the embarrassment that restrained them was finally gone. The king was so into these generals. He shouted and laughed. He started to rub his hands and rolled up his sleeves. He kept drinking with one old friend after another.
Ye Xiao sensitively noticed something. When the king rolled his sleeves, he tapped on the old eunuchâs shoulder casually.
[It seems he means sorry by doing that? Maybe it means⊠What is it?]
Ye Xiao felt respect.
[This king is truly out of my estimation.]
No matter what the king meant by tapping on the eunuchâs shoulder, it made Ye Xiao feel respect. The first time when he saw the king, what the king did was favorable to Ye Xiao.
The king had kept Ye Nan-Tian in this place for twenty years by a promise, yet he had a son like that. It seemed that things between Ye Xiao and the king were bound to be discordant after this nightâŠ
As the king who ruled the whole kingdom, he actually still valued the stories with his old comrades and put down his figure like that. He laughed and shouted together with these generals. Although it was during the feast before they join the battle, and it was possible that the king was trying to win popular support, it was still not an easy thing to do for a king!
Besides, Ye Xiao felt that when the king was talking, he was sincere. At least while he was staying with these old friends, he didnât treat himself as the king who was in a higher position!
And the joke about that eunuch was apparently something that was planned to finally relax the crowd. A eunuch who could stay beside the king was never a fool like that.
The eunuch must have a huge power as he was the closest one at the kingâs side. He might call himself servant, but even the queen and the the crown prince didnât dare to treat him as a servant!
Such a man was willing to sacrifice his dignity to help the king doing what he wanted.
While the king tapped on the eunuchâs shoulder, Ye Xiao felt that the king was a good person somehow.
That tapping was a comfort and also a praise!
Watching the king having fun among all the generals so closely, Ye Xiao realized why people like Prince Hua-Yang, the War God of the Kingdom, would be willing to serve the king!
He understood why his father, Ye Nan-Tian, who was a remarkable heroic figure, would agree to make the promise of staying for twenty years!
If a king could behave like this, even if he was acting, it was enough!
That was enough for a king to conquer everybody.
That was something Ye Xiao could learn!
Thinking about the crown prince who kept doing dirty business, Ye Xiao only had one feeling: the dog son of a tiger.
âYe Xiao! Ye Xiao!â The king shouted, âYou little prick, come over here! You father is not here tonight, so you are going to drink up this bottle of liquor for him. I am going to see how the alcoholic rice ball looks likeâŠâ
Meng Lao-Wu rubbed his head and asked, âYour highness, that Ye boy drinks and he may puke. But whatâs that to do with rice ball?â
The king laughed, âDonât you know he was the âmidnight snackâ? A midnight snack that was soaked with liquor, what else could it be if it isnât alcoholic rice ballâŠâ
Meng Lao-Wu thought for a while and said, âThatâs not a reasonable explanation. âMidnight snackâ isnât ârice glue balls (yuan xiao)â. He is not going to be an alcoholic rice ball anyway!â [1]
The king was stunned and then he turned perverse, âOk. The midnight snack that night was the rice glue balls. How about that? It has to be!â
Meng Lao-Wu nodded quickly and spoke with flattery, âYou are the king with golden words. What you say must be the truthâŠâ
People were booing around him all of a sudden!
In fact, the five generals of the northern army felt proud at the moment!
[Even though our great general isnât here, the king never forgot about this! The king never forgot about him!]
Ye Xiao was smiling bitterly. He said yes to the king and thought, [Damn it. Everyone knows my nickname, Midnight Snack, and yet I am going to have another one like ârice ballâ or something. Damn it, this is bad luck!] He had to go over to the king. So he walked over, nipped his nose and drank up that whole bottle of liquor for his father.
The officers sitting in the side halls watched the king playing around in the main hall. They all showed strange expressions on their faces.
When the king was still a prince, he concealed his true status and got into the army. They all knew about it.
Yet they had never thought that the king actually valued these generals so muchâŠ
âŠ
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[1] Explanation:
We all know midnight snack in Chinese is ye xiao. While there is one kind of food, the rice glue ball in China, which is called yuan xiao in Chinese. So the king apparently mistakes ye xiao (midnight snack) with yuan xiao (rice glue ball).
ED Note: Last chapter was the 4th and last of the bonus chapters, and this chapter will be the first of 5 guaranteed chapters for the week. Also, last chapter was accidentally posted because of miscommunication and without my knowledge, and so I have just fixed most of the mistakes just today, sorry for the inconvenience.
1st guaranteed chapter of the week. 2 more later on.
Translated by: Rain
Edited by: Arch
From XianXiaWorld
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