Chapter 80: I Made It Through, Mom

She didn’t know what she was apologizing for. For leaving her alone in this hospital bed. For not being able to protect her from the mate bond breaking. For surviving something that had destroyed her. For coming back changed in ways she didn’t fully understand yet.

For everything.

Her whole body was shaking now. Every muscle vibrating with the force of the tears she was finally allowing herself to cry. Three months of holding it together. Three months of surviving. Three months of moving through each day without breaking.

And now, sitting beside her mother’s unconscious form, she finally broke completely.

She wept into their joined hands, her whole frame wracked with sobs. The machines beeped steadily around her, indifferent to her pain. The hospital sounds continued outside the room....distant voices, the hum of equipment, the ordinary noise of people dealing with medical crisis.

And Lilith sat there and cried like her heart was breaking. Because it was. Because she’d survived something that should have destroyed her. Because her mother was still unconscious and might never wake up. Because she’d been sent away as payment and had come back fundamentally altered in ways she couldn’t yet articulate.

She cried until there were no tears left. Until her breathing slowly began to steady. Until her shaking gradually subsided to tremors.

She cried until she had no choice but to accept that she was home. That she’d survived. That this was what came after.

Slowly, her breathing regulated. The sobs became less frequent. She kept her forehead pressed against their joined hands, just breathing, just being present in the moment with her mother.

"I made it," she whispered finally. "I made it through, Mom. And I’m going to figure out what happens next. I’m going to keep you safe. I’m going to make sure the bills are paid. I’m going to...."

A knock came at the door.

Lilith’s head snapped up.

Standing in the doorway was a young omega....someone she vaguely recognized from her time in omega housing. The girl looked uncomfortable, like delivering messages to people was not her favorite task.

"Lilith?" the omega asked, her voice small.

Lilith quickly wiped her face with the back of her hand, trying to erase the evidence of her breakdown.

"Yes?"

"Alpha Garrett wants to see you," the omega said. "He’s asking for you in his office. Right now."

Lilith’s stomach dropped.

She looked back at her mother....at her mother’s peaceful, unconscious face. At the machines maintaining her life. At the hand she’d just been holding.

"Tell him I’m coming," Lilith said quietly.

The omega nodded and left.

Lilith sat there for another moment, still holding her mother’s hand.

"I’ll be back, Mom," she whispered. "I promise. Whatever he wants, I’ll come back."

She carefully set her mother’s hand back on the bed. Stood on legs that felt unsteady. Took a breath.

Then she turned and walked out of the room to face whatever came next.

***

The Alpha’s office looked different than it had three months ago.

Lilith stood in the doorway and took it in, the polished mahogany desk, the leather chairs, the windows overlooking pack territory. Everything was the same. Everything was different because she was different.

Alpha Garrett sat behind his desk. Three elders occupied the chairs in front of it....Elder Theodore, Elder Mateo, Elder Rivers. Their faces were neutral. Professionally blank. The faces of men who’d learned long ago not to show their emotions in formal settings.

They looked at her like she was a problem that had been solved.

"Come in, Lilith," Garrett commanded. "Close the door."

She did both without speaking. The door clicked softly behind her. She didn’t sit, wasn’t offered a seat. She stood in front of the desk like she was on trial.

In a way, she was.

"How are you?" Garrett asked. His eyes tracked her face, assessing. Looking for damage, maybe. Or weakness. "Did the Blackwoods treat you...."

Lilith looked at him.

Just looked. Didn’t say anything. Just met his eyes with the full weight of everything she’d experienced, everything she’d endured, everything she’d survived. She let him see exactly what she thought about his question. Let him see the dagger in her gaze....the blade of her anger, her betrayal, her complete and utter contempt for the man who’d sacrificed her to save his own pack.

Garrett’s mouth closed.

The words died before he could speak them. He swallowed and looked away first.

"Never mind," he said quietly. "That’s not important right now."

The elders shifted slightly. One of them....Elder Theodore, made a sound that might have been approval. Or disgust. Lilith couldn’t tell. And she didn’t care.

Garrett picked up a piece of paper from his desk. The movement was deliberate. Formal. A man performing his role as Alpha, moving through the necessary steps of an official proceeding.

"I received a letter this morning," he said. He held the paper up, letting it catch the light. "From Alpha Nicholas Blackwood of the Blackwood Pack."

Lilith’s chest tightened at the sound of his name. The brothers. The three alphas who’d owned her for more than two days and then released her.

"The letter states," Garrett continued, reading from the paper, "that Lilith Thorne’s debt to the Blackwood Pack has been paid in full. That the thirty-day agreement has been fulfilled. That the Blackwood Pack will hold no further claim against Shadowmere Pack and will not hold us responsible for Victor Thorne’s supposed transgressions."

He lowered the paper and looked at her directly.

"The threat of retaliation is ended," he said. Relief was visible in the set of his shoulders. In the way his jaw relaxed. In the particular quality of his breathing. "Your sacrifice has ensured our pack’s safety."

Lilith said nothing.

The word ’sacrifice’ hung in the air between them. As if what had happened to her was noble. As if she’d walked into the Blackwood estate with eyes wide open, understanding the cost. As if she hadn’t been desperate and broken and willing to destroy herself for her mother’s survival.