"Stop calling me ālittle oneā!" Quylla hated that moniker, it made her feel like a child.
"Weāre the same age and Iām even quite tall for my age." With her 1.6 meters (5ā3") she was indeed tall by Mogarās standards. Because of her thin build, she seemed even taller.
"You are short compared to me." Lith shrugged. He never expected these Murderers Anonymous meetings to become a habit for the surviving members of the group.
Yet after noticing how much talking with him helped Phloria to relieve her burden, Lith became the sponsor for the three girls until they felt ready to share their demons with each other.
Friya and Phloria had recovered quickly. Maybe because the academy kept their minds busy, or maybe because after so many tears and so much grieving they had come to terms with the truth that saving both Jirni and Yurial was just a pipe dream.
The anniversary of Nalearās attack had recently passed, so Lith wasnāt surprised when Quylla called him and asked for his help. He was glad to see she had been eating again. Her cheeks were rosy and she was even starting to gain weight in the right places.
"How is it going with Kalan?" Before confronting the elephant in the room, Lith wanted to make Quylla relax with small talk about her boyfriend.
"We broke up yesterday." She replied with a sigh.
āNice move, Freud.ā Lith inwardly cursed at his bad luck.
āItās not your fault, you had no way of knowing.ā Solus consoled him.
"I donāt need to know who dumped who to tell you that he is a d*ck. Itās his loss."
"What makes you so sure itās his fault we broke up?" Quylla chuckled. Lithās unconditional support meant a lot to her.
"Well, you started dating less than two months ago. The only reasons I can think of for such an abrupt ending is either you found out he was cheating on you, or he rushed for the fifth year and he wouldnāt take a no for an answer. Either way, he is a d*ck."
Fifth year was the Mogarās slang equivalent for the home run in a relationship.
Quylla blushing instead of getting angry at her ex made Lith understand it was the latter.
"How is Tista doing?" Quylla changed the topic. There were things she didnāt like to talk about with Lith.
"Good. After the mock exam she got a group of her own. Two girls and two boys, just like ours. Tistaās jury is still out on whether or not they are sincere."
"How come youāre so relaxed? Arenāt you worried about the boys?" Quylla would have expected Lith to have run background checks or at least have intimidated them.
"Tista knows that if she needs my help she just has to ask." Lith shrugged.
"She must learn to fend for herself and become a good judge of character. My role isnāt to prevent her from stumbling and falling, only to help her in standing back up."
Those words shocked Quylla. Lith was so calm and mature instead of his usual overprotective self.
"If someone tries something funny or hurts her, they may find themselves accident prone. Maybe even going missing for good, but thatās another story." He winked.
Lith meant to make her laugh with his joke, yet Quylla became sad.
"Do you still think about Yurial?" She asked while staring at the ground.
"Yes. Almost every day." Lith sighed.
"I still regret never making that trip with you guys at the end of the fourth year. I also regret not being a better friend. Before meeting you guys, I was completely alone. Donāt get me wrong, I love my family, but they know nothing about magic.
"My mother still thinks that with a book and a bit of effort everything is possible. She doesnāt realize how much work there is behind every single spell. Nor does she realize the things I had to do to get where I am and earn all the money I bring home.
I know itās my fault for always keeping them in the dark, but I felt lonely nonetheless."
āI donāt know what would have become of me without you, Solus. You are the best thing that ever happened to me.ā He inwardly added, making Solus incredibly happy.
"Even if I didnāt realize it earlier, you guys are my magical family. After the second exam, Yurial realized his faults and did his best to become a good friend. A brother. Yet I was too conceited to notice."
Lith handed Quylla one of Yurialās notebooks. It was opened to a page where, after discussing one of the impossible arrays, Yurial had let his mind wander about his feelings towards the group and Quylla in particular.
He expressed his regrets for having treated her as an asset rather than a person at first, thinking only of how he could exploit her help to improve his grades. Yurial also wrote about how he had protected her from the shadows, getting rid of those who approached her with a hidden agenda.
"I think Quylla is too kind for her own good." Yurial wrote. "Donāt let her know that I told you, but I believe sheās the most dazzling girl Iāve ever met. Despite Quyllaās harsh life, she retained her sweet and loving personality.
"I wish I didnāt always act like an idiot in front of her. I hope one day Iāll be able to repay all the kindness she has showered me with, even when I did nothing to deserve it. I hope sheāll think fondly of me like I do of her."
Quylla started sobbing. She dropped the notebook, incapable of reading those words for one second longer. She felt undeserving of such affection.
"How can you forgive me for what I did?" She said through the tears. "Iām sure Yurial spent his last moments of life hating me. Thinking I had betrayed his trust."
Lith embraced her. He caressed her hair and back while she vented her pain.
"You have nothing to be forgiven for." He said.
"I didnāt show you that notebook to torture you, but only to let you know what his feelings for you were. Yurial could never hate you. He loved us too much to have such thoughts. Iām sure he was worried more about you than about himself."
Lith paused for a second before continuing.
"Quylla, no one blames you for what happened but yourself. Life is for the living, not for the dead. You canāt let Nalearās madness ruin your life. Donāt turn him into a vengeful ghost haunting you. Thatās the only thing Yurial could never forgive you for."
Lith knew he was being a hypocrite, yet he didnāt care. Carlās death was always lingering in the back of his mind, affecting every decision he made. Getting over the untimely death of a loved one wasnāt something he should preach about to others.
āMy body count has already reached three digits, while Quylla has still a chance to be normal. She needs hope more than anything else.ā He thought.
Feeling that little, frail body quivering through tears, Lith deeply regretted having given Nalear a swift death instead of one filled with excruciating agony.