"I was talking about you. That poor guy was just trying to do his job." Quylla sighed.
"Oh." That was all Morok managed to say.
An Awkward silence ensued until they ordered and received their food. It took Morok a few bites to collect himself and say:
"Iām curious about what led you to leave the academy and search the guidance of an Emperor Beast. I mean, your family is loaded, your father is a hotshot in the Knightās Guard, and the few times we spoke in Kulah, you always talked about your plans of becoming a Professor."
"It wasnāt an easy choice to take." Quylla felt flattered by the fact that he still remembered those bits of conversation after so many months and together with the good food, it helped to break the glacier between them.
"I never wanted to become a soldier, a fighter, or to deal with danger on a daily basis. My only dream was to become an academic and to spend my days between teaching and magical research. The only problem with that is that bad things keep happening.
"First Balkor and then Nalear scared me so much that it took me a long time just to muster the strength to get out of bed." She shuddered at the memory of Yurialās blood spattering everywhere after she had cut his throat.
"I hear you. I was no longer a student, but I had to face Balkorās army three years in a row and I always came out alive by the skin of my teeth." Morok shuddered as well, inwardly thanking the Great Mother for Balkorās disappearance.
"Three times?" Quylla almost choked on her food from the surprise.
"Yeah. I joined the army at sixteen and as a Ranger, I was dispatched twice to protect the members of the Royal Family and once to protect the students of the Black Griffon.
"I always fought on the frontlines and seeing so many people die changes you forever. No offense, but compared to Balkorās army, Kulah was nothing." Morok said.
"None taken, but I wouldnāt call it nothing." Quylla replied. "Sure, all the members of the expedition choose to go to Kulah whereas Balkorās anniversary was akin to an inescapable divine punishment, but it was still terrible. Kulah has been my wake-up call.
"It helped me to understand that even though I had managed to get out of my bed, I never stopped running. The academy wasnāt my new home so much as my fortress that kept danger away.
"I didnāt stop training because I lacked time, but because I lacked the will to fight. Kulah and meeting Baba Yaga taught me that the only way to avoid danger is to live under a rock." Quylla said.
"Thatās not true. Just mind your own business and take a quiet job. Lots of people enjoyed peace for years, even when Balkor was still active. Itās just a matter of the choices you make." Morok said.
"Yeah, the problem is that Iām not like those people. I was born an orphan and my adoptive family means the world to me. Mom is an Archon, Dad is an official in the army, and no matter how much they deny it, my sisters are natural born fighters.
"I tried to do what you say, but it only made me feel isolated from their lives and incapable of helping them in time of need. Whenever their line of work put them in danger, I was more a burden than an asset.
"I gave up of my career in the academy because Iām tired of running away and always seeking the protection of others. The undead invasion is not going to disappear because I wish it so.
"Sooner or later, our enemies will knock at the door of my family and this time, Iāll be ready for them." Quylla stabbed the dumpling in her plate as if she had a vendetta against it.
"What about you? Werenāt you supposed to retire from the army and start your own noble household?"
"Itās complicated." Morok sighed, taking a pause so long that Quylla was about to change the subject.
"When my mother discovered I was a hybrid and my old man an Emperor Beast, she kicked us both out of the house. I spent my youth traveling the Kingdom with my father, a six-eyed asshole named Glemos who never taught me anything but magic.
"During that time, I wondered what I had done wrong for making Mom hate me. I couldnāt understand why all the other kids had parents and a home while I only had the road.
"When I became twelve, my father brought me to the Crystal Griffon academy and after I got admitted, he disappeared. Long story short, hearing all the marvelous stories of my classmates about their families, made me want to become like them.
"Everything I did after graduating brought me closer to my goal. I joined the army, the Association, I took the Ranger job that no one else wanted and succeeded where no one else could.
"I thought that with enough merits, I could achieve everything I ever wanted. Money, respect, a place to call home, and in due time, a family. All I got with the title of Baron, instead, were a bunch of responsibilities, people who only wanted my money, and enough paperwork to bury a Dragon.
"It took me months to set my pride aside and admit that I had wasted years of my life to chase the dream of a twice abandoned child."
"That being a noble wasnāt what I really wanted." Morok took a bite of his steak, adding a bit more green pepper sauce.
Quylla could relate with him, even feel lucky in comparison. Even with all the bad things that had happened to her, after she had enrolled in the White Griffon academy, she had never been alone.
Yet just like him, she had only recently discovered that the path she had chosen to walk would never bring her any happiness. Quylla had asked Faluelās guidance for the same reason she had accepted that date.
Instead of taking the safe but unhappy route, she wanted to take some risks and understand what she truly wanted.
"What about Ajatar, your mentor? How did the two of you meet?" Quylla decided to move to a less depressing topic.
Morok told her all about his three days bender with his usual honesty, making her laugh when he quoted his first conversation with the Drake after he had sobered Morok up with Invigoration.
"Good gods, you really are crazy." She said after listening to the part where Faluel had kicked his ass. Hilarity made her eyes water.
"Too often people mistake being nice with being good." Morok shrugged. "Iāve been alone for too long to care about being nice, but Iām a pretty decent guy."
"Yeah, right. Say that to the waiter. I thought that Emperor Beasts were pretty picky with their apprentices. Between your rough start and the fact that you donāt even want to become an Awakened, Iām surprised Ajatar took you in." Quylla said.
"He was surprised as well when, after returning from the desolate corner of the Blood Desert Faluel Warped me to, I asked for his help. Iām still not interested in becoming an Awakened, but just like you, I canāt stand idle while the undead attack the only home I have ever had." Morok replied.