When the breakfast feast was âofficiallyâ over, and after the players had sat for a few minutes in food comas, the goblin king (his name was Blizix, apparently) gave Mason his âkingly giftâ.
âUm, thanks.â Mason smiled, holding what appeared to beâŠa fancy metal stick, his players all ready to leave now at the end of the hall. The goblin king beamed.
âScepter of ancient, mighty house. All goblins will respect.â
For a minute Mason figured it really
was
just a stick, until the text scrolled.
[Item received: Royal Goblin Scepter. While displayed, increased status and improved relations with goblins, at least the civilized kind.]
âThank you for the gift.â Mason shrugged, trying to think what he might give the creature in return. âWe didnât bring muchâŠnothing to repay this, and the hospitality. Iâm a bit embarrassed. MaybeâŠâ
âNo, human. You give us back our home, our children. We owe much still.â
Mason held out his hand, and the goblin stared.
âHuman custom. You grab and shake.â
The king smiled with great pleasure, grabbing Masonâs two middle fingers with its much smaller hand. And thenâŠhe shook himself, like he was dancing.
There was a few coughing sputters of repressed laughter from Masonâs people, and the goblin looked up at him with big, genuine eyes. He gave his shoulders a little shake. The coughing behind him got a lot louder.
âOh.â Mason cleared his throat. âWe met some other goblin wanting to be king of the mountain tribes. Called himself Ikit. Know anything about him? I need to worry about him?â
â
What
?â The goblinâs expression transformed. âThat sneaking, nasty,
stupid
âŠit was
him
who brought usâŠâ the goblin gestured around the hall, then frowned. âHim andâŠMechanists. Make machines magic, too much risk, too much power. Brought the demons, it is well known.â
Mason sighed, not surprised there was more to the story.
âHe said it was the king in the outer hall who did that. Some kind of bargain.â
âPfft!â King Blizix blew air. âYes, cave king very stupid. And greedy. But too useless for such things. No. Mechanists tricked him, lured him with promises. He gave king-key to great machine. All kings have them. They tinkered and tinkered, and brought the eye. The watcher. The voice in the machine.â
The words sent a chill down Masonâs spine. He thought of the eye heâd seen after he killed the four-armed demon, staring without anger or fear or anything else. Just
staring
.
âThank you. Thatâs good to know. Weâll leave you now, and end this.â
âGood, good. But wait. One more gift.â The king turned and shrieked a name, and his servants scampered and raced around the hall. He looked back and grinned as if embarrassed. âBrotherâs child. Most disobedient. Never listens. But very clever. Youâll see.â
A goblin with a heavy backpack eventually came rattling down some stairs. It was wrapped in a cloak, covered in dangling bits and pieces of metal. The servants ushered it forward until it stood before the king, where it finally bowed and lowered its hood to reveal a young, female goblin.
âLate.â The king shook his head, then stroked her hair with obvious affection. âDid you bring spiral doodad?â
âYes, uncle.â
âAnd you have armor? From good armorer, not stupid cousin?â
âYes, uncle.â
The king grunted, then produced what looked like a large, golden key from his pocket. He took a deep breath and handed it to her, then glanced at Mason.
âKing-key. No good until machine fixed. But if soâŠmaybeâŠwho can say? She is clever.â He winced and looked at the girl, then back at Mason. âGreat human warriors will protect, hmm? Promised brother. She is careless. Almost blind to danger. Needs
much
protection.â
Mason nodded, and the king took a breath.
âGo, then. Too many mouths to feed anyway. Go!â
The girl grinned and kissed her uncleâs cheek, then pulled up her hood and jangled her way towards the players.
The backpack was as big as she was. Mason couldnât imagine sheâd last long carrying it. Getting the kingâs obviously favored relative killed might not be great for relations, either. But he didnât see much choice except to take her.
With a last wave, which accidentally turned into an eruption of return goblin waves, he turned and gestured for his players to head out.
The hand-grabbing and body-shaking rituals of mockery amongst his players began immediately. Mason rolled his eyes, but fought the grin.
**
The players took their time as they walked on down the wide, goblin passages. Several of the âouter tribesmenâ were waiting and escorted them, bowing and scraping to Mason.
The same goblin whoâd done the talking before kept trying to touch him, frequently muttering things like âmighty kingâ, or ânice human kingâ, as if Mason were somewhere between a pet and a god.
âYou have any scouts up ahead?â he said, looking at his newest âservantâ, whose name was maybe Uck. âAre the demons guarding this engineering cavern?â The creature snapped out of its creepy, cutesy praying and nodded.
âAt front, yes. Big dogs. Flying things. Walking fire. Many demons in the cave. Many.â
Mason sighed, but wasnât exactly shocked. He supposed he might ask the creatures if there were some other, sneakier path they could take. But he wasnât sure that was better. Maybe the safest path was on solid ground, slowly hacking their way through anything that tried to stop them.
If they tried to get clever they might get trapped or ambushed, their players jammed up in another tight space where they couldnât use most of their people or powers.
They were pretty good at controlling ground with all their melee and defence. On the other hand, he didnât want to get them totally surrounded.
He glanced back at the hooded goblin royal hunched over and struggling with her giant bag. Sheâd fallen behind them, and still no one had offered to help, or even spoken to her.
He wasnât sure
why
except maybe they were still all embarrassed about their nights with goblin servant girls and didnât want to look like they were making a habit of it. But Mason wanted information.
He fell back and reached over, lifting most of the bagâs weight from above. The goblin spasmed in alarm, trying to figure out what happened before turning. Her orange-red eyes shone in the dark, flashing with concern when she saw him.
âSorry,â Mason said, letting go. âI donât actually know your name. Why donât you let me carry that?â
She shook her head and made rejective noises, but Mason soon manhandled his way into getting the thing off her back. He easily slipped a strap over his shoulder, grinning as the poor goblin straightened and crackled with a pleasurable stretch.
The grin dropped as his eyes found all those curves Seamus was talking about. Not that he hadnât noticed himself with that servant in the shower. These goblin women all looked like gymnasts. They had lithe, strong bodies, but with plenty ofâŠstabilizing force around the hips and ass.
And
this
one wasâŠattractive. The mountainâs females in general had more âhumanâ faces, not much different than an elf, just with bigger eyes and sharp teeth. She was like some lost, green cousin of Nayaâs. Except she had enough breast to announce themselves from under those baggy clothes.
âI was hoping you could tell me about this machine,â Mason said. âIf I know more maybe I canâŠâ
âItâs incredible!â The goblinâs big mouth went wide in an equally attractive smile. âWe call it Heart. Heart of the Mountain. It powers
everything
! And not just machines, but the tribeâs magic. They donât even
know
how much it does. Not even uncle. He thinks mixing magic and machines is new, but isnât.
It
isnât. We doing, I mean, weâve
been
doing it, for decades.â
Mason blinked and stared, not sure where to start with all that. She talked fast but with a lot more âgrammarâ than the others.
âYou, uh, donât talk like the other goblins.â
âOh.â The girl pushed dark hair behind a long ear. âWorse now. But, father was,
my
father was an engineer. I mean the family sent him before...
I
grew up in central cavern, and, have talky stone. Um, we have a communication beacon. Books. Iâve seen overworld. I mean, Iâve been outside the mountain.â
Mason smiled, finding himself a bit entranced with the way the girl spoke. Her sharp eyes flicked over him, as if shy but too curious to resist.
âYour uncle said you could help us. I guess I want to know how. Also I donât even know your name.â
âOh. Itâs Lodie. AndâŠmy uncleâŠrat talks, er, exaggerates. I canât.â Lodie shrugged and looked at the floor. âI mean, I
could
, if the Heart wasnâtâŠ, you know, filled with demons. Key wonât work. Doodads wonât work. But maybe after youâŠstop them? Maybe I can fix. And if you donâtâŠend-hurt all the Mechanists? But you probly have to. I get it. Real shame, though. Clever boys.â
âI wonât hurt any goblins if I can avoid it.â
Lodie looked at him and smiled. âWeird human. Sees in dark. Walks quiet. Donât man-gods want gobbo blood and treasure? Ours want plenty.
Way
plenty.â
âI donât care what gods want,â Mason said, wishing it was always true. âIf you canât help us, why did your uncle send you?â
âOh.â The goblin looked down again, skin flushing. âIâmâŠold grandma for gobbo princess. Supposed toâŠâ she scoffed, like it was ridiculous. âThinks maybe big human hunter might mate. Would be good for family, says uncle.â
Mason was suddenly very glad he was out of earshot from his women. He needed another inter-species marriage like he needed a hole in the head. Even if the girl
was
intriguing.
âThatâs probably a bad idea,â he said.
âI said so!â The girl looked immensely relieved. She threw up her hands and blew out a breath. âUncle wonât hear no. But IâŠ
make bombs
, not babies.â
Mason laughed, and the goblin beamed.
âBombs, huh? Maybe you
can
help us. Anything in that cave useful to blow up?â
Lodie looked horrified.
âNo, not near Heart!â Then she squinted as if really thinking about it. âWell. Many things, technick-like.
Many
things.â She gave him a suspicious glare. âBut you wonât hurt Heart, yes?â
Mason tried not to think of it as a double entendre. He half shook his head, half shrugged.
âAll I want is the demon gone, Lodie. If we can spare the machine, thatâs fine with me. But you should be prepared for the chance we canât.â
The girl slumped, but nodded.
âI can try to teach,â she said. âEverything I can teach quick. And maybeâŠif I can get close. If protected.â She shrugged, still looking down and scared. Mason put a hand on her back to comfort her, then regretted it. Especially when she smiled and tucked some more dark hair behind an ear.
Yeah, cute. Definitely cute. But still green skinned and red-eyed and sharp teethed. His rational brain said these things, but the thought of her didnât bother him at all. Between his Transformations and growing comfort with the post-apocalypse, not much felt weird anymore.
Except he had too many women. Didnât he? Of course he did. But this was just another rote thought from his brain without an ounce of feeling behind it. He sighed, giving the girl a polite smile and asking her to wait on the lesson before making his way back to the front.
He found Demi and Becky walking together and put a hand on the back of each, matching their smiles. He walked and tried not to think about another night with them both, this time with Lodie squirming in the same pile of soft, beautiful flesh...
He tried, he really did. But as usual, his dick and the horny Cerebus demon on his shoulder really didnât give a shit.