Chapter 269: Chapter 269
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āWhat?ā After a moment of wonder, the meaning of her words soon left me feeling absolutely shattered.
Both Choi Yuri and I didnāt say anything for a while. After she had finished speaking, she stood fuming while looking at me, whereas I just sat on my knees and dropped my gaze at the floor.
I felt two guys of the Four Symbols, who were standing near the warehouse door, turning around to look this way in the sudden silence.
Meanwhile, I just stared at Choi Yuriās face for quite a while. She looked devastated by her broken heart and injured pride. Scowling at me with bloodshot eyes, she detached her lips again.
āAre you a god or what? If not, is the world a theater and youāre a scriptwriter? What the hell are people and I to you?ā
I still couldnāt say anything. Choi Yuri continued to speak with her eyes fastened on me.
āDid you say Eun Jiho wonāt listen to me? Although he does so, it will still be meaningless? I would mean nothing to him forever? Is that what youāre talking to me?ā
I didnāt put it that harsh, but it was true that those thoughts were in my mind. That was because Eun Jiho and Choi Yuri were⦠I bit my lips.
As far as I knew Eun Jiho and Choi Yuri would never make love happen between them.
When I had that thought in my head, Choi Yuri poured out questions hysterically.
āHow do you know? What makes you so confident about that? From what? Who the fu*k are you to say so?ā
āI⦠Iā¦ā
I just wished there were no more people who were hurt by hopeless love. I didnāt want anyone walking along the thorny path in trust of there would be something at the end. Including myself, I just hoped there was no one.
While I just left those words unspoken, Choi Yuriās remark hailed down on me like bullets.
āWhy are you looking at me like Iām incomprehensible when Iām trying so hard to get involved with him, influence each other, and squeeze myself in to take up space in his lifeā¦? Why are you seeing me as someone defying the odds?ā
Breathing shortly from exertion for a while, Choi Yuri kept on gushing.
āYou arenāt even trying at all! Youāve given up everything from the beginning, but why are you always staring at me with a disbelieving look? It feels like Iām still out of the spotlight when Iāve already gotten them by my side.ā
āThatās becauseā¦ā
Thatās because the only role Iām allowed to play is watching from the sidelines; the role youāre playing is just different from mine.
I couldnāt say those words this time as well. When I, again, remained silent for quite a while, Choi Yuri showed a bitter sneer as if she knew I would react that way.
She then walked toward me and sat with her knees bent right in front. Meeting my eye level, she continued to speak with a lowered voice as if she was telling me a secret.
āYou know what? Actually I donāt care about what others think of me. Whether they throw a miserable glance at me or not and even Eun Jiho or Ban Yeo Ryung deem me pathetic, I donāt give a shit. Those are nothing to me, but the look in your eyes⦠I hate your look of sympathy at me the most, get it?ā
āā¦ā
āWho the hell are you to behave that you know all the results? Why are you looking at me like a person challenging the impossible? Who the fu*k are you to do so?!ā
She then drove in a wedge with her last words.
āAre you a god or what?ā
āā¦ā
In the deafening silence that soon prevailed the space, I couldnāt say anything.
Breaking out in a cold sweat, I cast my eyes down at the floor for a long time then lifted my head back.
There stood Choi Yuri, the girl with brown hair, brown eyes, and a run-of-the-mill appearance. Looking at her face quite resembling mine, I once thought that she wouldnāt play more than a supporting role in this novel.
However, what have I been thinking of Choi Yuri?
Due to our similar appearance, I might have regarded her as my mirror. That was because no matter how hard we try, we wouldnāt be able to play something more than our fixed roles.
Just like me, I wished she didnāt long for something that she couldnāt acquire. Although she put forth a great deal of effort, nothing would be gained, so I hoped she wasnāt at the pains of doing such a thing.
I was sympathetic with Choi Yuri, who would get nothing just like me, and even felt pity for not being aware of the fact.
That was why I advised her on Eun Jiho just now. No matter what she does, no amount of effort would make her existence even a speck in Eun Jihoās mind.
Because that was meant to be.
I raised my head to look at her again.
The shower of her scathing words shattered the world in my head that I had built solidly for years. Her remark made it easily collapse as if it was a sandcastle.
A world where everyone was made of words on paper⦠A world where people were trapped in chess pieces unable to see themselves and each could only move in a set directionā¦
Choi Yuri, just now, broke the world, which might have deceived all the people, into pieces with her hammer-like remark.
I directed my eyes on her. She, who was putting her face closely on mine, looked like a giant shadow because of the backlight of the warehouse.
āNow you see?ā she asked.
She then yelled out again, āNow you see me?ā
I nodded blankly. Only then did I have something striking my mind.
Perhaps this was the first time for me to face a āperson,ā at last, ever since I entered this world. A real personās face⦠which I should never recklessly judge oneās value⦠No end was set yet. No one could know that and should not know such a thing.
The future was open; it wasnāt fixed. That was uncertainty, but at the same time, the reason why people were able to dream of a better future. Dreaming of better tomorrow was a personās greatest right and freedom.
I had a dream one day. In that dream, I walked endlessly on the single path drawn by light in the dark while being lost in thought.
Is everything predetermined life a blessing or a misfortune?
What about the life of a person who already knows that? Is that life also a blessing or not?
When a person knows that there is only one path and nothing can be changed no matter how hard he or she tries, is that knowledge a gift or a calamity?
And now, Choi Yuri was answering those questions right in front of me. Her voice sounded the clearest that I ever heard from her.
I murmured, āI was wrong about Choi Yuri.ā
I thought she was doing reckless things only because she was set to do so. It was the flow and the script that made her act like that. These were the thoughts that I had in mind until now.
However, I was utterly wrong. Choi Yuri, the smart and ambitious girl who easily drove me to the corner in the past while using the hands of others, didnāt lose her sound judgment because of such reasons.
It was simply because she wanted Eun Jiho. She desired him too much that she thought it didnāt matter at all to lose anything. It was her will to abandon everything and choose a faint possibility.
Looking at me with glaring eyes for a while, Choi Yuri uttered again.
āIām gonna struggle to succeed whether you think Iām pathetic or not.ā
I just nodded in a daze. That was the only thing I could do for now.
āI will continue to do so. You canāt trap me in your stereotype! Donāt you dare define me in your way. Get it?ā
āYes, I got itā¦ā
Even though I tried to enunciate with all my heart, Choi Yuri didnāt seem to believe it. Shaking her head hysterically, she blurted out, āNo, you donāt understand at all.ā
āFor what reason?ā
āHave you ever fallen in love with someone?ā
āā¦ā
I was tongue-tied this time since that was what I never did and even thought about.