Chapter 354 - 248 Unbearably Uncomfortable

Feng Yun patted the space beside her, a smile in her eyes.

Wen Xingsu hesitated briefly before sitting down next to her, his back straight and proper.

He was very formal.

Feng Yun wanted to laugh.

Her eldest brother really was a peculiar one.

When will such a gentle gentleman ever find a wife?

She lowered her voice, asking him quietly,

"What do you think of the Lord of Pingyuan County?"

Wen Xingsu was startled, a bit of awkwardness on his face.

Feng Yun leaned in closer with a smile to observe his expression, feeling very close to him.

In front of Wen Xingsu, her heart always harbored a little girl who had never grown up, mischievous and more capricious. Wen Xingsu’s presence made her ears burn and her heart race, but Feng Yun thought it was because he was shy about Puyang Yi. Her voice became much lighter.

"Why be embarrassed? We’re siblings. Come on, tell me."

Wen Xingsu opened his mouth to speak but said nothing, instead offering a bitter smile.

"Yao Yao don’t worry about me."

Siblings don’t need to spell things out to understand each other’s feelings.

The Goddess has intentions, but the prince is without dreams.

Feng Yun did not persist in meddling with her brother’s emotions.

But she noticed that Wen Xingsu’s evasion and dodging were not towards the Lord of Pingyuan County, but towards her.

"What’s wrong, Big Brother? Can you not be distant with me, please?"

Leaning forward, she studied Wen Xingsu intently, thinking of the heartache she felt after his death in her previous life. The emotions brimming in her eyes were so dense they would not dissipate.

Wen Xingsu felt her breath and had some difficulty catching his own.

"Yao Yao, is what you’re drinking not medicine?"

There was a medicine bowl on her table, and Wen Xingsu had watched her drink it just moments ago.

Only now did he smell the alcohol and realize something was off.

"It’s alcohol. Shh..." Feng Yun drew some dried meat from the drawer, shared some with her pet otter, placed the rest on the table, then took out a flask of liquor from under the blanket, shook it, and said softly, "Don’t let Xiaoman hear, or she’ll nag again."

"With your condition, how can you drink alcohol?"

His face hardened, losing its usual gentleness, and his gaze became chilling.

Feng Yun said, "I like the osmanthus brew from your cellar, so I stole some and kept it in my room."

After a moment’s hesitation, she reached out and tugged at Wen Xingsu, apologizing obediently.

"Don’t be angry, I... feel too terrible, I wanted to get drunk."

Her voice was soft. She didn’t do anything but smile at him, yet Wen Xingsu felt sweat dripping down his back and his throat tightening.

"Where do you feel terrible?"

Feng Yun chuckled, her eyes revealing desolation and bleakness.

"Everywhere hurts."

Seeing her, Li Sangruo might feel pain, but who would have thought, facing Li Sangruo once more in this life was also not easy for her.

Every step she took was a gamble with her life.

She had to overcome the profound fear within her heart to appear "composed" in the eyes of others...

Wen Xingsu asked, "Are you angry with Pei Jue?"

"Not at all." Feng Yun’s face showed no emotion, always smiling, "Obviously, he’s the one who’s mad at me, hence why he didn’t consummate the marriage."

After Feng Yun told him about tonight’s events, Wen Xingsu’s heart numbed, heavy with both anxiety over her boldness and sorrow over her reckless courage.

"Don’t do this again. Gambling with your life like that is not worth it. No wonder Pei Jue is angry. If I were him, I’d be angry with you too."

"You would never be angry." Feng Yun started laughing.

Her eldest brother never got angry with her. His temper was so mild that it often made Feng Yun reflect whether she was too impetuous.

Wen Xingsu’s throat caught for a long while before he relaxed from that suffocating emotion.

"Your distress, is it because you couldn’t take down Li Sangruo?"

Feng Yun was taken aback, shaking her head, "I’m not that foolish."

"So, you’re saying your initial goal wasn’t to take down Li Sangruo, but Fang Fucai?"

"Yes, but also no."

Wen Xingsu watched her calmly, his gaze soft.

Feng Yun said, "My ultimate goal is indeed to take down Li Sangruo, but I don’t have the power to do that right now, so I can only cut down her claws. As long as Pei Jue remains a subject of the Jin Court, she remains the ruling Empress Dowager. As long as Pei Jue doesn’t want her downfall, I can’t bring her down."

The situation tonight was clear.

Li Sangruo leveraged Fang Fucai, and Pei Jue let her go.

Both sides took a step back for the sake of peace.

This proved that Pei Jue did not want to take things to the extreme.

Actually, Pei Jue knew better than anyone that the person behind the scheme to humiliate her publicly by being indecent with a man was not Fang Fucai, but Li Sangruo.

He knew, she knew, she also knew that he knew she knew, silence was kept between them, and that understanding remained unspoken.

Feng Yun suddenly smiled, her eyes inexplicably tearful.

"Big Brother, are you thirsty? Have a drink."

Wen Xingsu’s throat moved slightly, "Don’t drink, and you shouldn’t either."

Feng Yun filled Wen Xingsu’s cup, pushing the wine cup into the palm of his hand.

"Drink. Wine dispels a thousand sorrows."

Her soft little hand magnified the touch.

A wave of heat seemed to crawl up his spine, tingling slightly, making him sensitive. His heart beat in sync with her breathing as he looked into Feng Yun’s eyes.

The two were too close, so close that he began to hate himself. In her pure gaze, he felt despicable desires emerge.

"Yaoyao, this isn’t proper."

"We, brother and sister, are now adrift in a foreign land. We are each other’s only kin. If even my eldest brother avoids me, and is always so proper with me, how lonely and sad would I be?"

Her tone was soft, her breath fragrant with alcohol.

Wen Xingsu: "Yaoyao..."

His throat felt somewhat choked up.

Feng Yun’s gaze was intense, her face carried a smile, but even more present was an unshakeable melancholy.

When people are vulnerable, their emotions surge, and their feelings are laid bare in their eyes.

Tonight she clearly had a splendid victory, yet she appeared so fragile as if she couldn’t withstand a single blow, perhaps due to the drugs, perhaps the wine, her head ached as if it was about to be split open.

"Eldest brother, may I be presumptuous just this once? This wine won’t hurt my body, but not drinking it will hurt my heart."

Wen Xingsu, looking into her eyes, felt as though they were melting, his pupils rapidly contracting. He lifted the cup and drained it in one swallow.

Seeing him like this made Feng Yun feel even worse.

He had been Nanqi’s General Ningyuan.

Spirited and scholarly, a warrior of his generation, fighting alongside Pei Jue, one in the south and one in the north, both hailed as War Gods. Who didn’t say General Wen was full of talent, his military exploits resounding enough to be noted in history?

Yet now, he was holed up in Xinzhou City, assuming an awkward identity...

All because of her.

Feng Yun couldn’t deny feeling guilty.

Even if it was for the sake of sparing Wen Xingsu’s life, to prevent history from repeating itself, this was not how she wanted to see him.

It shouldn’t be like this.

For a man, the erosion of will might be more painful than the loss of life.

"Eldest brother, did I do something wrong?"

At this moment, Wen Xingsu’s emotions were complex, his voice hoarse.

"Why are you blaming yourself again?"

Feng Yun did not realize how her soft gaze and sincere emotions constituted a severe torture for a man. With half-closed eyes, she murmured softly.

"Eldest brother is supposed to be an eagle soaring the skies, not falling into a magpie’s nest, mimicking those joyful birds... Eldest brother, should I not have kept you by my side?"

"Fool, it’s not you keeping me here, it’s me who chose to stay." Wen Xingsu’s lips curved in a slight smile, his eyes looked at her tenderly, the warm light of the fire on his refined face, dignified and elegant, as if all the desires and strife of this world had nothing to do with him.

"I will fight for what I want, and if I don’t fight, it means I don’t want it. Don’t worry about me, or else, I will have to worry about you in return. We, as siblings, it’s never-ending."

Indifference was a quality that could reassure Feng Yun’s heart.

She nodded and began to smile, oblivious to Wen Xingsu’s tense body, which was trembling subtly in his legs in an effort to remain calm, not so different from how Pei Jue was driven to madness by desire.

"I trust you, eldest brother."

Feng Yun leaned her head forward.

"Then pat my head."

Wen Xingsu’s pupils shrank slightly.

Feng Yun took his hand and placed it on her head, wanting him to stroke it like one would pet a dog, rubbing her head against the palm of his hand as she did when they were young.

But she was no longer the young Feng Yun, her hair soft and smooth, like the most delicate hooks, entwining in Wen Xingsu’s palm, sliding and gradually hooking onto his heart.

For a moment, Wen Xingsu was in a daze, so much so that he thought back to that rainy night at the cottage by the Zhu River, hearing her entangled with Pei Jue, wanting to hold her tight and do those despicable acts...

"Eldest brother," Feng Yun looked up unhappily after a long time of no reaction.

"Are you still angry, aren’t you?"

Wen Xingsu came back to his senses, his hand gently rubbed her head, a conceding smile on his face.

"You... How are you still such a child?"

Feng Yun laughed: "In front of my brother, I am a child."

Wen Xingsu straightened his robe, subtly turning his body to face her, his back full of tension, yet his voice remained fairly calm.

"Child, you shouldn’t be willful. What if Wei Zheng was deceived by Li Sangruo, how would you have gotten away tonight?"

Feng Yun had contemplated this possibility.

But she wouldn’t give up on such a great opportunity for such a low probability.

"If that were really the case, I would consider myself bitten by a dog. But I don’t think Wei Zheng would be so foolish. Human nature gravitates toward self-interest, and as long as there’s a shred of rationality, he will understand what’s best for himself."

She wore a smile on her face as she looked at Wen Xingsu.

In his presence, with less scheming, her enchanting features were toned down, her face appeared innocent and her eyes clear, yet unbearably heart-wrenching.

She was only seventeen.

Wen Xingsu clenched the wine cup slightly tighter.

"Empress Dowager Li is a person cunning, jealous, arrogant, and foolish..."

He paused, his eyes suddenly cold, "If Yaoyao doesn’t want to see her ever again. Tomorrow, during the peace negotiations, let the eldest brother make it so the Empress Dowager passes away..."