Ollie felt his own eyes burning now, felt the weight of what heād nearly lost settling over him like a physical thing. He treasured Ashlynn, even before he became one of her witches, but he had to admit that things changed once he became part of the coven.
Ashlynn, Heila, Virve, and now Isabell... He could feel all of them. There was a closeness between them that went beyond the friendships that were still forming and developing. The bonds of the coven smoothed over the rough spots of their differences, whether it was the difference between being human or Eldritch, young or old, strong or weak...
Their bonds transcended those things. It helped them to see each other as family. To feel the intentions behind the words and to build on a foundation that was stronger than even families bound together by ties of blood. It was a connection that was still growing and changing. It was mystical, and it was young and fragile, but it was incomparably precious, and the thought of losing that bond...
That thought was far more agonizing than the idea of losing his powers.
"Iām sorry," he said quietly. "I didnāt know. I didnāt realize it could... I thought I was just tired. I thought Iād recover like I always do."
"I know," Ashlynn said, and her voice was gentle despite the tears still tracking down her face. "I know you didnāt understand. Thatās why Iām telling you now. Thatās why I need you to promise me youāll be more careful."
She pulled back slightly, wiping at her eyes again.
"I should send you home," she said, and there was something broken in her voice. "I should send you back to the Vale to recover for the next several months. I should let you rest and heal properly, and let the seed take root again on its own time. That would be the safe thing. The smart thing."
She met his gaze, and Ollie could see the conflict raging behind her emerald eyes. Sheād just lectured him about caring for himself and doing the safe thing, but she also needed him to face danger with her, or rather, she needed him to face danger for her, because there was something just as important to her that she couldnāt bear to lose.
"I should let you rest, but I canāt," she whispered as she finally made her decision. "Because youāre the only person I trust to protect Jocelynn when the time comes."
"Once we reach Lothian," Ashlynn continued, "weāll be walking into a nest of vipers. Abbot Recared and his Inquisitors. High Priest Aubin of the Great Temple in Lothian City. There will be at least a dozen Templars, probably more. And who knows what other surprises they might have waiting. They could have another Holy Light Blade, like Sir Tomminās, or something worse," she added.
Ashlynn took a deep, slow breath, holding it for a slow count of five before letting it go as she tried to dispel the fears in her heart about everything that could go wrong with her plan. There was a reason sheād intended to strike Maeril first, neutralizing the Inquisition and luring Owain away from the protection offered by Lothian Cityās Great Temple. It would have been a much, much safer way to deal with her former husband.
Now, however, Owain had spoiled her plans and forced her hand. It would be impossible to lure him out now. Or rather, she could still wait and lure him to her after his āgrand ceremonyā ended, but only if she was willing to allow him to force Jocelynn into a marriage that Ashlynn knew her sister no longer desired.
In the end, Ashlynn couldnāt do it. No matter how much Jocelynnās betrayal had hurt her, she couldnāt let her suffer at Owainās hands. That didnāt mean that sheād forgiven Jocelynn, but in order to have a chance to learn if she ever could, she had to stop Owain from destroying the little sister she loved so much.
"Iām hoping we wonāt have to fight the Church," she said. "My plan is still to conceal my true nature until well after Owain is dead. With the Dunnsā help, we should be able to interrupt Owainās grand ceremony without having to lay siege to Lothian keep, and with people like Samira to testify to what Owain has done.... It should be enough to topple him without turning this into a battle."
If things went badly, with all of the barons and so many of their knights gathered in one place, an open, chaotic battle would all but destroy any hope she had of achieving peace after killing Owain Lothian. And yet, she couldnāt ignore the chance that things would go wrong, or that the Church could tip the scales in a way that she couldnāt predict.
"But if my plan fails," she said, and her voice took on the weight of absolute command. "If things go wrong and the Church discovers what I am before Owain is dead, then your mission, your only mission, is to save Jocelynn. Get her out. Get her to the safety of the Vale of Mists. Even if it means abandoning me. Even if it means running while I hold off the Inquisitors and the Templars and whatever else the Church manages to throw at us. Do you understand, Ollie?"
Ollie swallowed hard, feeling the weight of what she was asking.
"Ashlynn..." he started, but she cut him off.
"Do you understand?" she repeated, and this time there was no room for argument in her tone.
Slowly, carefully, despite the lingering ache in his body, Ollie slid off the bed and lowered himself to one knee before her. He placed the fingertips of his right hand over his heart and looked directly into her eyes as he spoke.
"I understand," he said quietly, keeping his voice steady despite the tremor he felt inside. "And Iām sorry for being careless. For not thinking about the consequences of pushing myself so far. I, Iām also sorry for worrying you and nearly throwing away the gift you gave me when you made me a witch."
He looked up at her, meeting her tear-filled eyes with his own.
"I promise Iāll be more careful," he said. "I promise Iāll think before I act. And I promise that if things go wrong in Lothian, Iāll protect your sister. Iāll get her out safely, no matter what it costs me. I am your Cypress knight," he added solemnly. "And this is my vow."
"But I also promise that Iāll do everything in my power to make sure things donāt go wrong," Ollie added softly. "Whatever you need from me in order to make it work, Iāll do it, I swear to you."
Ashlynn let out a shuddering breath, and for a moment, she just looked at him, her hand reaching out to cup his cheek gently.
"Thank you," she whispered. "For understanding, and for being willing to carry this burden."
Then she straightened, and Ollie saw her expression shift from vulnerable to determined.
"Now let me heal you properly," she said, and there was a fierce protectiveness in her voice that reminded him why she was called the Mother of Trees. "And prepare yourself, Ollie," she warned. "Because this may be... intense."