Chapter 1127

“But... do you remember? What happened in the latter part of that day. The events that weren’t in your memory.”

Kishiar’s voice dropped even lower. Yuder recalled the events from that day as he had seen them in the dream.

Yudrain Aile had broken into the office at Peleta Castle through a secret passage. Suddenly, he had seen Kishiar unleash his power, saying he would now keep the promise. Back then, Yuder hadn’t understood, but now he could guess—it had been to resolve the mysterious connection between them.

Something an ordinary person could never have done—but Kishiar’s powers reached beyond what could be seen.

“The connection...”

“Yes. I tried to sever it with my power. I pushed it away relentlessly—until the only option left was to break it. That must’ve been...”

Kishiar let out a deep sigh and parted his lips again.

“...the last bit of strength I deemed usable, right before everything shattered.”

Yuder now understood that the Kishiar of his past life had damaged his vessel and stood at death’s door. But what Kishiar had felt about the power he used then, how he assessed his own condition—only he could truly know. Yuder didn’t waste the chance and asked,

“Could you explain what you mean in more detail?”

“More detail...”

After pausing for a moment, Kishiar began to explain.

“You know what happens to those with cracked vessels, right? How they die.”

“Yes.”

“The more power one holds in life, the worse the situation at death. When the energy inside twists and leaks out chaotically, the body can no longer withstand it...”

Kishiar raised his fist before Yuder, then silently opened his hand as if something exploded in the air.

“...it ends like this.”

“......”

“For someone who’s never trained, the aftermath might be small. But I’m not one of those people. If I were to die like that, at the very least... this castle. Perhaps even all of Peleta would be affected.”

Yuder was reminded of the day Kishiar awakened—when he thought he would die and sent everyone away. Back then, he had simply called it ‘evacuation,’ and Yuder hadn’t given it much thought. But now he wondered—how far did that evacuation truly extend?

The answer is probably...

The unnaturally quiet night of the assassination attempt. The stillness, as if all of Peleta had fallen asleep, came back to him in a wave.

“Anyway, in a situation where the smallest shock could have caused an explosion, that was the level of power I judged I could still use. Normally, it would be unthinkable to use that much... but if I had confidence I could ‘die cleanly’ before I burst, then maybe it was worth the attempt.”

One chance. A power that could never be used twice.

It was now certain: the Kishiar of his previous life had planned to sever the bond with Yuder at the final moment—and then die in an orchestrated assassination.

They called it assassination or murder, but ultimately...

It was a death he chose for himself.

A death where he selected the time and place, and used his life as a means to the very end.

It wasn’t the death of a man, but the death of a pawn—one utterly devoid of warmth.

Yet the words “clean death” struck Yuder’s ears with chilling sharpness, and he clenched his teeth before realizing it.

What Kishiar called a clean death was nothing like the peaceful kind people usually imagined. Cutting down an Awakener about to go berserk—that was no different. Can such a death really be called clean just because it spared others?

And yet, the calm, joyful way he used the word made it clear how long Kishiar had been imagining this end.

Maybe it hurt so much now because Yuder knew him as someone who cherished and celebrated life more than anyone.

Yuder stared at the fingers of the man holding him and opened his mouth.

“...But things didn’t go as you intended, did they?”

“No. There were a few factors.”

Kishiar nodded and began listing them slowly.

“First, it was something I could only theorize about. There was no way to test it in advance, so I couldn’t be sure the power would manifest that way. Still, I was prepared to force it through. That much was fine. But I didn’t expect you to get up in that state and try to stop it. That, I truly didn’t see coming...”

Instead of finishing, he smiled faintly as if recalling something. It was almost silent, but the slight tremor in the body holding Yuder confirmed it.

“...I couldn’t help but let my guard down. Anyone would’ve.”

If that voice sounded the same as when Kishiar used to speak fondly of Yuder with deep affection... maybe it was just his imagination. But it truly did sound that way.

“After I was blown away, I don’t know what happened. Still, the thoughts I had then remain with me in fragments.”

Yuder sensed that this was the most important part Kishiar wanted to convey and turned to meet his gaze.

In the darkness, the man spoke softly, a voice only Yuder could hear.

“I can’t say he—the man I was in that moment—had exactly the same heart as the one here now. But even so, that unlucky man also wanted to protect your light.”

“......”

“So I thought, what a mess. The one who should’ve hated me and walked away without a second thought didn’t. And I hadn’t realized that until then. The things I thought I’d done well, that I believed were enough... I suddenly realized had all fallen into some unknown darkness. It terrified me. And yet, in that misery, came a flicker of happiness...”

It wasn’t information.

It was nothing like anything Yuder had expected to hear.

Heart racing like it would stop, Yuder couldn’t say a word. Kishiar smiled gently, as if he’d expected that reaction.

“Yes. It’s a ridiculous story—maybe better left untold.”

“......”

Yuder didn’t know what to say.

While he was trying to digest the words, to restart his stalled thoughts, Kishiar continued slowly, without rushing.

“At first, I thought it’d be better not to say any of this. The more I mulled it over, the more absurd, deceptive, and painful it became. Even if you had some idea, facing the truth directly is a different thing. I couldn’t decide what was best.”

But—

“The pure joy you gave me while I lost myself...”

Like grace from a divine being in the sky—your unreserved acceptance and warm laughter—

“That’s what gave me the courage to decide. To lay out everything I saw and felt as honestly as I could... and then, whatever comes next, I’ll accept it based on your choice.”

“......”

“It’s a hard thing to respond to. So you don’t have to give me an answer right away. Even if you say you don’t want to stay here...”

“I ➤ NоvеⅠight ➤ (Read more on our source) don’t want that.”

The words came out before he even had time to think. Kishiar’s mouth closed, and he blinked. Seeing that expression, Yuder felt his chaotic emotions settle quietly.

Yes.

This is pain. And surprise. And shock.

But not hatred. Not anger. Not rejection.

Those had long since left him.

Since the moment he found himself drawn back to this man again...

As he thought that, his lips parted once more, and the thoughts in his heart began to flow.

“Since returning, and seeing memories I never knew through dreams, I’ve kept wondering—can someone really set up their own defeat like that?”

“......”

“It’s hard to believe, even if you suspect it. Which is why... I didn’t realize you were dying. I never understood what state you were in, what you were thinking, what future you wanted... or how you truly saw me. I didn’t know. So I couldn’t even imagine that you’d set that up yourself.”

I didn’t know anything, so I hated you. I resented you.

“Since turning back time, I’ve regretted all of it.”

If I’d had the insight I have now, maybe even the smallest suspicions would have led me to question everything. Even if you avoided me, I would’ve pressed forward and asked. Dug deeper without hesitation.

If I’d just had a little more perspective.

Then maybe...

Kishiar shook his head.

“That’s not your fault. It’s mine. If I was determined to hide it, of course you wouldn’t know. That’s the terrifying and convenient thing about the vessel—its flaws can’t be seen from the outside.”

The agony is brutal, but invisible. If you can endure it and maintain basic habits like eating and sleeping, you can appear fine on the outside. Though most people can’t bear it for long.

Yuder neither agreed nor denied it, and continued speaking.

“Even after learning you were someone who could set up your own defeat... I still didn’t know what you thought of me. Even when I saw that white glove through the rift... I still didn’t.”

“......”

“So when you said all that just now... I was honestly surprised.”