Sua Xing Xing did her best to stay composed as she left the Patriarchâs office. It was a struggle. Her hands were shaking and her heart refused to stop pounding. A year. She had stayed here for a year, more than a year, and grown increasingly despondent. It hadnât all been terrible. She hadnât been abused by anyone. No one had asked her to do anything she found remotely objectionable. She had even been allowed to join the sect when Lu Sen had finally given up on the fantasy that he could start anything but a sect. In truth, it had been exciting in a lot of ways. Her former sect was old, established, and set in its ways, as was the case for most sects. That made watching a sect get built from the literal ground up very educational.
Lu Sen had, oh so grudgingly, accepted people from other sects, and those new members had often tried to import their prior sectâs thinking about rank and privilege. Those attempts had been crushed ruthlessly. The assumption that cultivators with more advanced cultivation could simply order around those with lower cultivation was always the first casualty. The Patriarch made sure that those who served as teachers in the sect knew that it wasnât to be tolerated. They generally did a good job of making that point to the new members, sometimes with painful corrections to behavior. When they failed, there was always the Cold Blade.
While her cultivation was higher than his, Sua Xing Xing shivered whenever she saw that man. He
frightened
her. Not that he was the only one. The Patriarch frightened her too, but that was different. Her fear of the patriarch was more objective. The manâs power simply dwarfed her own. There would never be a conflict between them because such a conflict between them would be utterly, hilariously pointless. He would
crush her
, probably while carrying on a conversation with someone and making some kind of shadow toy for his daughter. It was rational to hold a healthy fear of anyone who eclipsed you so thoroughly.
Her fear of Long Jia Wei was not rational. It was primal. All cultivators killed. It was inevitable and unavoidable. The timing was always in question, but the eventuality was as certain as sunrise. It would always come. She had killed, more than once, and it seemed very likely she would do so again in the not-too-distant future if the Patriarch was correct about the coming war. Still, she didnât think of herself as a killer. She did it out of necessity, not preference. Long Jia Wei was a man who killed because that was what he was good at, and it didnât bother him to do so. He
was
a killer if an extraordinarily disciplined one. When other means failed to get the point across that certain expectations were to be met for anyone who wished to remain in the sect, the Cold Blade went to have a conversation with those wayward students.
She had seen the end result of those conversations. She knew enough about inflicting pain and causing harm to know that he maximized pain while avoiding anything that would leave lasting harm. It was something she had realized required a particular kind of deftness, a natural if brutal subtlety. She didnât possess it. If she had tried to do the things he had done, she would have killed someone or crippled them permanently. Of course, all of that skill only served to tell her that if he
wanted
someone dead, it would be simplicity itself for him to make it happen. The difference in their cultivation level would only matter if she saw him coming. She sincerely doubted that she would. That kind of skill paired with that kind of comfort with killing made him feel alien to her, which only fueled her irrational fear.
The only bright spot was that Long Jia Wei seemed utterly devoted to Lu Sen. It wasnât blind fanaticism. She was almost certain about that. The man was too calm and too focused for something like that. Those kinds of fanatics were erratic as a rule. No, he had simply decided to throw his lot in with Lu Sen for better or for worse. Despite the way he unsettled her, she supposed every sect needed men like that. Her old sect no doubt had them. She simply hadnât encountered them. The sect had been big enough that those individuals were likely identified early and tucked away both for specific training and to keep their identities shrouded. Her new sect was still small enough and new enough that she eventually encountered everyone. Still, she reasoned that as long as she didnât do anything to cross the Patriarch, she should remain forever safe from Long Jia Weiâs specialized attention.
Nor had he been the source of her growing despair. The Patriarch had been the source of that. She had arrived here with a plan and goal. The futility of those had been made clear to her very quickly. She had weighed her options at that point, almost choosing to leave, before she decided that she was likely to find more in this sect than her old one. After all, where there was change, there was opportunity. Having made the choice, she did her best to throw herself into whatever was asked of her. Hard work had a way of washing away poor first impressions. Except, it hadnât.
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
Lu Sen avoided her whenever he could. Oh, it wasnât anything blatant or designed to be hurtful. He wouldnât turn and walk the other direction when he saw her coming. He never ordered her to leave him alone. It was just there, something hidden right beneath his expression and a certain reluctance in his voice. He was always polite. So very damned polite. A solid wall of impenetrable politeness. Sheâd done everything she could think of to thaw that relationship, which had only seemed to solidify his wish to avoid her. It wasnât like sheâd propositioned him or tried to seduce him in some dark corner, although the heavens knew she would have if heâd shown even the faintest interest. Even so, his apparent aversion to her had been hard on her self-worth. Even if he didnât find her desirable, would it have killed the man to at least be friendly?
Then, there had been that revelation about the coming war. That had hurt her more than she expected. Heâd very intentionally kept that information from her out of pure, unadulterated mistrust. It was only then that sheâd grasped the full magnitude of her failure to win him over. There was an inner circle in the sect, and she most definitively
was not
part of it. To be fair, though, she wasnât sure who was in it. He seemed to treat everyone in the sect with an almost native lack of faith. Except for that Bahn Huizhong elder who had shown up from out of nowhere. There had been a brief period of suspicion on Lu Senâs part, but it had faded annoyingly fast. Now, it seemed like the two were always together. Sheâd seen them laughing together over something and was honest enough with herself to acknowledge that sheâd been hideously jealous. Something that could easily become hate for Bahn Huizhong had been born in her heart at that moment.
Sheâd considered leaving again after that. Feelings like that were unhealthy, dangerous things. They could breed equally dangerous decisions and actions. She shuddered to imagine what might have happened if she was less self-aware. Even so, she didnât like what she saw in herself at that moment. Sheâd always considered herself a steady person who knew how to manage her own emotions. It had chilled her to the core to realize just how much sheâd overestimated herself. Before she could decide one way or the other, though, the summons had come. Sheâd ordered the students sheâd been working with to leave
immediately
and rushed to the Patriarchâs office. Such a summons was rare, and she hadnât known what to expect. Sheâd worried that it was going to be him telling her to leave.
Instead, sheâd been entrusted with things that
mattered
. Many of the things on the list were simply sect business that someone with authority had to manage, but that didnât make them trivial. They were just things that a sect patriarch shouldnât be bothered with. If that had been all that was on the list, she still would have been overjoyed. The expansion of the town, though, was something else entirely. Lu Sen was profoundly protective of the mortals in that town. He took a personal hand in almost anything the sect did that touched their lives. She didnât fully understand his feelings about mortals, but she didnât need to completely grasp those feelings to recognize and respect them. It was enough to know that he wouldnât tolerate them being mistreated and wanted them protected.
This was a test. She was certain of that. If she understood Lu Senâs mind, it was a carefully chosen one. She hadnât hidden her indifference to mortals and knew that it had contributed to his perception of her. This was a chance. The chance sheâd been waiting and praying for over the last year. A real chance to prove that she was better than the impression sheâd given him. She just needed to not mess it up. Of course, there was also the business with all of this coming about on the recommendation of Feng Ming. The Patriarch was so casual about having Fateâs Razor, a walking myth, just hanging around the sect. She wasnât nearly so confident about just engaging the man in a conversation. In fact, the mere thought of speaking with him scared her half to death. Who was she, a nobody core formation cultivator, to speak to someone like that?
âSo, did he stop being stupid?â asked a voice from right next to her.
She looked up and froze.
Itâs him
, she thought. The seemingly innocuous old man who spent his time playing with Lu Senâs daughter, a man who could end her life in a blink, was looking at her with an amused expression. She couldnât breathe. She couldnât think. It felt like her heart was going to explode. The nascent soul cultivator gave her a grandfatherly smile and held something out.
âWant one? Sen makes these wonderful pastries.â
She looked down and there was, indeed, a pastry in the manâs hand. Not sure what else to do, she grabbed it. He looked at her expectantly until she took a bite. She blinked in surprise. It was quite delicious. Had the Patriarch really made pastries? The whole situation felt surreal to her, which probably explained why she just let the man pluck the scroll out of her hand. He opened it, read it, and then nodded in apparent satisfaction.
âHa! I knew heâd come to his senses. His brain works just fine when he lets it,â said Fateâs Razor, handing her back the scroll.
Then, he patted her on the head in a decidedly paternal way, put another pastry in her hand, and walked away whistling a little tune.
She stared at the pastry for a long time before she whispered, âWhat in the thousand hells just happened?â