The investigation turned out to be a surprisingly brief matter. Misty Peak and her foxes spent less than a day on it before returning with their evidence. That didnât make the entire thing a pleasant affair. Many of the detained nobles complained relentlessly, even the one who hadnât suffered an accusation of disloyalty. That was when they werenât trying to bribe their guards to either release them or carry messages. It got bad enough that Sen threatened to make trying to bribe a member of the army a crime that carried the sentence of death to be carried out immediately.
The guards might be loyal, but that pack of nobles was offering sums that would have made Sen sell his soul during those years he lived on the streets. It would have been unreasonable and unrealistic to expect the guards to resist that kind of ongoing temptation. As it was, no less than four of the guards did try to slip away to claim those absurd sums. They were captured or reported by their more honest fellow guards. Sen left their punishment up to General Mo. Even the combination of Senâs threats and potential punishment by Mo didnât
entirely
solve the problem. It did reduce the bribery attempts to a more livable level, and there were only two more guards who foolishly tried to carry messages.
The reports of the nine-tail foxes had surprised Sen. Kang, in a moment of good sense, had chosen not to implicate anyone innocent. The involvement of a few of the nobles was peripheral enough that Sen would find some lesser way to deal with them. But that apparent honesty on the part of the former general did spare Sen the ugly necessity of inflicting poverty on the rest of the manâs family. Unfortunately, it also meant that he had to punish those nobles with the deepest involvement. He was tempted to exile them the same way he intended to exile Kang.
Doing that might send the wrong message, though. After all, Sen had framed exile and sparing Kangâs family as a reward for not lying. He could imprison them, but he doubted that would have the intended effect. It would be too difficult to prevent their families from bribing guards to deliver luxuries or even to overlook an escape. Yes, the foxes could almost certainly track any escapees down, but that would waste the time of valuable resources that could be better applied elsewhere.
âWhat are you brooding about?â asked Grandmother Lu.
Senâs attention returned to the little courtyard where heâd secluded himself. Heâd retreated to Lu Manor to escape the constant attention at the palace for a few hours. It had proven a dubious decision. He could escape the people but not the responsibilities.
âIâm trying to decide what to do with the nobles who conspired with Kang.â
Grandmother Lu lifted an eyebrow and asked, âAre you, now?â
âI am,â said Sen.
Even as he said it, he tried to ignore an uncomfortable feeling in the back of his head. It was the same one he always got when someone was about to chide him for ignoring something obvious that he didnât want to look at too closely. Grandmother Lu heaved a dramatic sigh and leveled a frown at him.
âYou say that like thereâs a choice.â
âThereâs always a choice,â said Sen.
Digging his heels in made him feel both better and worse. He felt better because he was right. There was
always
a choice. He felt worse because of how blatantly and distressingly hollow that choice was in practice. Grandmother Lu tutted softly.
âI see. So, itâs that sort of thing.â
âWhat sort of thing?â asked Sen.
âThe sort of thing where youâve already decided, but you donât want to deal with the aftermath. So, youâre trying to think of any possible way you can avoid it.â
The uncomfortable feeling intensified before Sen said, âAm I really that transparent?â
âNo. Youâre a person,â said Grandmother Lu, sitting down next to Sen on the bench. âWhen you get to be as old as I am, youâll have seen a lot of people in a lot of situations. You learn to recognize the signs of someone avoiding an unpleasant duty.â
âIâm just
so
tired
of death. Maybe this would be easier if I didnât know that thereâs so much more death coming.â
âIt wouldnât. And Iâm glad of that.â
âGlad? Why would that make you glad?â
âBecause it means you havenât become like the old monsters. I donât just mean your teachers, but all of those terrible old nascent soul cultivators. Theyâre so disconnected from the lives of mortals and even lesser cultivators, so disconnected from what makes everyone value those lives, that itâs too easy for them to take life. For me, living another hundred years or two hundred years is an incomparable gift. And thatâs because it came to me so close to my death. Iâve been old and infirm. I know what it means to yearn for youth, to yearn for freedom from pain, to yearn for
more
life.
âThey all take another hundred years or thousand years for granted. They expect it. Barring someone like Feng Ming coming along and killing them, theyâll probably get it. That expectation robs them of something. Empathy, perhaps. Maybe it just steals pity from their hearts. I donât know. So, yes, Iâm glad that you still struggle with taking life, even if that taking is unavoidable. It means that you havenât lost that ability to feel empathy or pity. Iâm sure that day will come. I think it probably must come, for your sanity if nothing else, but Iâm glad it hasnât come yet.â
Sen sat with all of that for several minutes. He knew heâd be lying to himself if he said he was also glad. There was a part of him that envied those old monsters and their coldness. Everything he was being asked to do would be so much
easier
if he just didnât care. But he did care. He might not care personally about those nobles, but he cared what happened to humanity. He cared that doing what he needed to do was going to end with more dead mortals and no dead spirit beasts.
âI understand that I
must
make my political control of this place as unassailable as I possibly can before I leave. I just loathe the bloodshed it calls for. I hate that I have to make myself look ruthless and indifferent for the message to take. This isnât who I wanted to be.â
âI know,â said Grandmother Lu. âItâs not the life I would have chosen for you. Iâd hoped you would find a kinder life. I know now that was always going to be impossible. Still, I wish that I had the power to kill that old bastard for pushing you into all of this.â
Sen couldnât help but smile at the thought of Grandmother Lu beating Master Feng unconscious. He didnât think that sheâd actually kill him, even if given the opportunity, but maybe she would. There had been a particularly spiteful gleam in her eye when she said that. For all that, he found it strangely comforting to know that she was still more worried about him than the war. It seemed that everyone else was worried about Judgmentâs Gale, the new ruler of the kingdom. Grandmother Lu was only worried about Sen.
âSo, what will you do?â she asked.
âWhat I was always going to do,â he admitted. âIâll just do it with fewer regrets. Iâve been letting myself avoid some of the harsher decisions because they were harsh and because I had an excuse. The army wasnât ready. As long as that was true, I could put things off. I could pretend that I wasnât really in charge. That excuse is gone now. Once we march, I have to be a leader in fact and not just name.â
âAre you ready to do that?â
âI doubt it, but Iâll do it anyway. Who knows how many people have died while I avoided things?â
âYou say that like youâve been gardening this whole time,â said Grandmother Lu.
âFair. I havenât been shirking everything, but there were things I could have done that I just didnât. The world isnât going to keep waiting. Itâs time for me to do my part.â
âBy conquering the continent.â
Sen groaned.
âEvery time someone says that, I canât decide if I feel like a complete ass for even contemplating it or like an imposter playing at being an emperor.â
âYou shouldnât limit yourself that way. You can be
both
and still conquer the continent.â
Sen stared at Grandmother Lu with his mouth hanging open before the laughter bubbled up and burst out of him.
âI suppose I can.â