Chapter 60 â I Really Am a Superhuman
Tianquan City, Ascension Tower.
Yun Suxin, the Young Mistress of Lingxi Valley, slowly regained consciousness from her deep sleep.
Around her, cultivators from various sects and city guards lay sprawled in disorder, still unconscious.
She rubbed her throbbing temples and instinctively reached for her waist.
"...Where's my storage pouch?"
Not only was her storage pouch gone, but so were her artifacts and even her jewelry!
Many of the other cultivators had yet to wake up. They had all been waiting here for their sects' flying boats, only to be drugged and stripped of their possessions instead.
"This is⊠Soul-Scattering Incense!?"
Yun Suxin spotted a burnt-out incense burner in the corner.
Soul-Scattering Incense was a non-toxic, colorless, and odorless sedative, typically used to calm spirit beasts.
Whoever did this was thankfully not out for blood. Otherwise, the consequences would have been unthinkable.
However, this location was only known to reputable sects, and everyone here had undergone strict identity checks.
Which meantâthere was a traitor!
But who?
"It was Qingyun Sect!"
A furious voice rang out.
Someone pointed at the large character "Qing" on the hallâs wall, along with a taunting ghostly face drawn beside it.
"Unbelievable! We had no grudges with Qingyun Sect, yet they came all this way just to rob us?"
"Qingyun Sect is already wealthy beyond measure. They mustâve done this just to humiliate us!"
"In the Zhongzhou Secret Realm, we must make their disciples pay!"
As the hall erupted into outraged discussions, Yun Suxin pinched the burnt incense ash between her fingers and rolled her eyes.
If this had really been Qingyun Sect, she would eat this incense ash.
She looked around.
The only ones missingâwere the people from Sword Pavilion.
Thinking about their perpetual poverty, Yun Suxin immediately understood.
Hah. So, Sword Pavilion dared to rob Lingxi Valley?
Fine. Just wait and see!
"Brother, you look absolutely legendary!"
Chen Huaiâanâs mouth twitched as he sat in the production crewâs shuttle.
For the third time, the driver had repeated this exact phrase.
First when they met.
Second when he got in the car.
And now, again.
"To be honest, bro, Iâve driven for this show for years. I've seen at least a thousand celebrities, if not more," the driver said earnestly, one hand on the wheel, the other giving Chen Huaiâan a thumbs-up.
"But I've never seen someone as insanely good-looking as you. And thatâs saying something, even with you being bald! I canât even imagine how stunning youâd be with hair! No joke, you make that celebrity, Cai Yifanâwho's on this seasonâlook like a joke, and heâs had work done!"
"I think Iâm just average," Chen Huaiâan replied, feeling a bit embarrassed.
"Not a chance!" The driver shook his head. "You know what it is? Aura. Looks aside, your aura alone crushes all those male celebrities. Itâs got this⊠I donât know⊠enlightened monk kinda purity! You should play Tang Sanzangâyouâd be an instant hit!"
Chen Huaiâan chuckled. "If thatâs the case, wonât I steal the spotlight from the celebrities?"
At this, the driverâs face fell. He slapped the steering wheel.
"You know what? Be careful of that Cai Yifan guy. Heâs a big deal, not someone to mess with. The show is basically set up to promote him. If you run into him, keep a low profile. Weâre just regular folksâno need to butt heads with celebrities."
Chen Huaiâan took note.
But really, what kind of conflict could he, a terminal cancer patient, possibly have with a celebrity?
On the other hand⊠would that celebrity even dare mess with him?
After being dubbed "The Top Version T0 Creepy Old Man" and "The Little Celestial" in past incidents, wasnât he essentially the hidden boss of reality itself?
If that celebrity actually tried to stir trouble with himâŠ
Well.
Heâd let him experience firsthand the phrase: "I really messed up."
"Oh my god! Cai Yifan is finally here!"
"Good evening, Fan-ge!"
"Fan-ge, youâre getting more and more handsome! Your career is totally skyrocketing!"
At the foot of Tianmen Mountain, the production team of "Daring Adventure with Celebs" had gathered.
A striking young man, dressed in tailored designer wear and adorned with an expensive brooch, stepped into the spotlight.
Cai Yifan.
A current trending "fresh meat" celebrity.
He wasnât quite at the level of true A-listers yet, but he was rising fast, with a bright future ahead.
He hadnât joined the show because he particularly liked it. His company had arranged it, saying it would help improve his public image and attract more casual fansâlaying the groundwork for the lead role he had secured in an upcoming movie.
The problem?
Cai Yifan had zero acting skills and would require dubbing.
If he didnât build up goodwill now, the movie would get torn apart by critics before it even premiered.
From his own perspective, he despised being here.
First, he hated hikingâit was exhausting and made him sweat.
Second, the show was live-streamed.
That meant he had to suppress his real behaviorâno cursing, no smoking, no picking his nose.
The program started at 9 PM sharp. He was supposed to arrive by 7 PM to prepare.
He showed up at 8:40 PM instead.
All the other guestsâincluding a washed-up celebrity and three minor influencersâhad obediently arrived early. Theyâd even filmed some behind-the-scenes clips in advance.
On a show like this, BTS clips were essential.
Even though it was a live broadcast, the footage would later be edited into a pseudo-documentary for replays.
After all, not every working-class viewer could sit down at 7 PM sharp to watch TV.
"Oh, finally, Xiao Fan, youâre here," the director, Zhang Dao, greeted him, barely hiding his frustration.
He was pissed but didnât dare say anything harsh.
"Go get ready. Weâll shoot some filler clips in the meantime."
Cai Yifan gave him a bored look and rolled his eyes.
"Make sure the camera angles are perfect. Capture my best angles. I need to approve the footage before you upload anything. If it doesnât make me look good, itâs not going up."
"Of course, of course," Zhang Dao forced a smile, mentally cursing Cai Yifanâs entire bloodline.
Cai Yifan went to change and get his makeup done.
Even though they were about to hike up Tianmen Mountain at night, makeup was mandatory.
Had to cover up those dark circles.
The cameraman was dumbfounded.
So this entire BTS clip would just be⊠Cai Yifan changing clothes and getting his makeup done?
All the other guests had introduced themselves, demonstrated their outdoor survival gear, and discussed potential hiking challenges and secret weapons.
And Cai Yifanâs contribution?
Striking a few pretentious poses.
Was this a hiking show or a fashion runway?!
At 8:50 PM, everyone was in position, ready to start filming.
Then, a staff member ran up to Zhang Dao, whispering nervously.
"Director Zhang⊠One more guest hasnât arrived yet."
"Who?" Zhang Daoâs eyes narrowed, barely restraining his temper.
"The mystery guest you arranged."
"Oh, right. The mystery guest." Zhang Dao had been so infuriated by Cai Yifan that he had completely forgotten.
"Find out where they are!"
"We did. The driver said⊠they ran out of battery."
"WHAT?! F***! Canât anything go smoothly? Ask them for their exact location and send a car immediately!" Zhang Daoâs face darkened. He grabbed his head in frustration but still announced the showâs start.
A five-minute delay was no big deal for them.
For the TV station, however, it would be a broadcast disaster.
At that moment, on a deserted hiking route, Chen Huaiâanâs car had stalled.
"Weâre still a ways from the meeting point," the driver sighed. "Damn electric cars, not as reliable as gas ones. Battery drains way too fast in cold weather."
Chen Huaiâan glanced at the time.
The show started at 9 PM sharp.
He was always punctual.
He looked up at the steep rock face, testing it with his foot.
Solid. Stable.
If he climbed directly, heâd be there in no time.
"Guess Iâll go up myself," he said.
"What?"
By the time the driver turned aroundâChen Huaiâan was gone.
The night was dark.
The wind howled over Tianmen Mountain.
A shadow soared up the vertical cliff face like a phantom.
Chen Huaiâan grinned under the moonlight.
"Tonight⊠I feel unstoppable!"