Chapter 293: Dual Swordart [I]

Another day went by with ease.

No monster ambushed us, no ancient traps showed us our darkest nightmares, no one fell off a cliff.

The journey to the caldera was going so smoothly that I was nearly getting bored. Soon we were going to reach its jagged foothills and start climbing toward the top.

Nothing was amiss.

Which, normally, would’ve been a blessing.

But since we didn’t encounter any beasts, it also meant we had run out of things to kill.

Which, in turn, meant... we had also run out of things to

eat

.

Yes, we still hadn’t had a proper meal.

All of us were Awakened, so we could go on without food far longer than a normal human — especially Michael and I, since the two of us were at [

B-rank

].

But the rest of our companions still needed to eat

eventually

.

By the time we set up camp for the day, the entire group was starting to look like a slow, shuffling pack of starving zombies.

Even the ever-laid-back Alexia looked ready to tear bark off a tree and take her chances.

And then there were Ray and Vince.

One thing I had come to realize about that duo during this journey was that they could

not

handle an empty stomach with dignity.

Right now, they were off at the edge of the camp, staring... at Kevin.

Kevin, the unkillable bird that we had adopted yesterday.

"It’s so small," Vince whispered, crouched on all fours like an extremely malnourished hyena stalking a piece of meat. His hollow eyes were full of hunger and resolve.

Ray shook his head solemnly. "It’s perfect. More than enough to fill me!"

Kevin blinked in the opposite direction.

Then he opened his beak, let out a very disturbing sound like someone gurgling marbles, shed every single feather on his body, inflated like a balloon, shrank back down, and rewrapped itself in freshly regrown feathers.

Only now, it was... slightly bigger, around the size of a chicken.

Ray inhaled sharply. "...We ignore that."

Vince nodded immediately. "Agreed."

A plan — if one could even call it that — was discussed between them.

Ray found a flat, smooth rock that looked ideal for both bludgeoning and tenderizing.

Vince stole a handful of salt from Alexia’s dimensional storage chest. Because they

obviously

needed seasoning.

Who in their right mind would eat meat without seasoning? That would be barbaric.

Then Vince knitted a net from braided vines and held it up with pride. "Let’s go! He’ll never see it coming."

The universe must have heard him, because that was exactly the moment Juliana walked past them, carrying a heap of firewood.

She gave them a long, heavy, deadpan stare. She looked like she wanted to say many things, none of them flattering.

At last, she settled on, "You both are going to regret whatever you’re doing."

Ray flashed her a smug grin. "Sweet of you to care, Julia."

"No," Juliana replied, smiling with such blatant delight that she didn’t even try to hide. "I actually

want

to see you suffer."

With that ominous remark, she walked away.

They hesitated for a brief second but proceeded anyway, as hunger won over reasoning.

And, believe it or not, they succeeded! As astonishing as it may sound, the idiots succeeded!

They hunted that little fluffy bird. They killed him. Then they cooked him before he could regenerate.

Finally, they ate him.

They ate without sharing with any of us.

Not that we would’ve agreed to eat a nigh-immortal monster anyway.

But

they

did.

They ate every last charred, over-seasoned, questionably edible piece of Kevin until only his bones remained, stacked out in a neat little pile.

For a few blissful seconds, everything was perfect. Their hunger was satiated.

...Then Ray burped and made a tiny, strangled noise.

And Vince followed.

What came next was something that still haunts them to this day... and amuses

us

.

It was nothing serious.

...Just hours upon hours of sharp stomachaches and wrenching cramps that reduced both of them to a writhing mess.

They screamed and cried and cursed, rolling on the ground and swearing oaths to never touch meat again in life.

Eventually, their agony subsided.

But before they could even breathe a sigh of relief for surviving the past two hours... they started

violently

throwing up, emptying the entire contents of their stomachs onto the forest floor.

They continued to throw up until there was nothing left in them, until all they could do was retch uncontrollably.

And then, as they lay there defeated and half-dead, something rattled nearby.

...The bones.

Kevin’s bones!

His bones trembled and shivered and rearranged themselves on their own, a soft glow pulsing through them before new flesh sprouted.

Kevin’s whole body regenerated in the blink of an eye, his feathers bursting out again in a puff, and by the end of it... he was simply standing there.

He looked larger, healthier, unscathed... and unapologetically smug, if monsters could even be

smug

.

Ray stared at him with lifeless eyes.

Vince whispered weakly, "That... fluffy motherfuc— khwaaa!"

And he started throwing up again.

•••

Everyone had a different way to distract themselves from the gnawing hunger.

Lily and Michael were talking about boring couple stuff. Since they didn’t get to go on too many dates before joining the academy, they were making up for it here.

In the middle of a nightmarish jungle, while on our way to an eldritch creature.

Truly romantic.

Still, their quiet, awkward smiles were cringing me out. Lily was asking Michael questions and telling him things, and he was sincerely listening.

She had that habit. She overshared a lot of things with those she felt comfortable talking to.

Personally, I could never listen to her talk so much about herself.

And it wasn’t just her! It was everyone!

If we were talking, it needed to be about me.

...Oh.

I suddenly started to realize I was a really bad boyfriend.

Anyway, since they were talking, and it would’ve been weird for me to interrupt their intimate space, I left them alone.

Vince and Ray were still half-dead from their stomach infection, so they were resting by the campfire.

Kang had climbed up a tall tree and was now lying idly atop a branch. That guy never stopped being edgy.

So I walked around the campsite a little more and found Alexia meditating.

For the last few days, she had been pestering me to train with her.

Yes, by the way, these guys trained even here.

Whenever we’d get a couple of slow days, all of them would start training or testing their Card combos.

I never understood the need for it.

I mean, we were fighting for our lives almost every other day in this place. Why did they all feel the need to train

more

on top of that?

It felt like signing up for extra homework while the exam was already punching you in the face.

But Alexia didn’t want my excuses. She wanted to spar with me.

And I wanted to not get beaten up by her.

Don’t get me wrong. In a no-holds-barred match, I was confident I could defeat her. Not only did I have a few strategies to counter her already prepared in my mind, but she was also a rank below me right now.

But in a controlled combat situation, with rules and restrictions, where I couldn’t use my Cards and weapons — I had no doubt that she would

wipe

the floor with me.

My ego wouldn’t be able to handle that humiliation. What if I start crying publicly?

Hey, don’t judge me!

At my core, I was still an arrogant young master who hated losing to the main characters, okay!

I didn’t avoid the route where I’d become a third-rate villain and get beaten up by Michael just to get beaten up by Alexia after coming this far!

So, seeing that she was lost in meditation, sitting on a flat piece of rock with a serene expression... I slowly began to retreat.

If she heard me, she’d grab me and won’t let go.

"I hear you, Samael."

Her voice — her pure, angelic, adorably high-pitched voice that, to me, sounded like the whisper of

death

itself — cut through the silence.

And I got chills.

I didn’t wait another second... and made a run for the woods like my life was on the line. Because it was.

"Wa-Wait—!" she shouted, completely taken aback. "Get back here, you bitch! I heard Theosbanes were brave!"

I didn’t give in to provocations. I just ran.

Branches snapped under my feet as I dashed into the darkness, sprinting like a man who had absolutely no shame left to lose.

Behind me, Alexia’s footsteps were as soft... yet somehow infinitely more terrifying.

"I swear to the Monarchs," I gasped, jumping over a tall fern. "This woman is going to kill me in the name of friendship."

"You can’t run forever!" she screamed from uncomfortably close behind.

I looked back.

And what I saw chilled me to my core.

That girl...

She wasn’t even running!

She was speed-walking.

Speed-walking!

Like those serial killers from old movies!

"You’re not even trying!" I yelled.

"I don’t need to," she replied, voice flat and calm and full of impending doom. "You breathe loud."

...Wow, that hurt.