Chapter 307: The Chair!

For the rest of the bath, all of us kept talking and sharing things, opening up in that strangely honest way people only ever do when they’re exhausted, half-soaked, and too tired to pretend anymore.

Meaning when they’re bathing together.

I’ll admit, it was weirdly fun. I’d never experienced something like that in both my lives until then.

By the end of it, we were all actually enjoying ourselves.

"But still, Sam, we’re glad you aren’t dead!" Vince declared for what had to be the fifth time that day, jabbing a finger in my direction.

I rolled my eyes so hard I nearly sent them back in my head. "Again with that. Like I said, even my family isn’t

that

homicidal."

"But it’s not just your

family

!" he pressed on, splashing water as he leaned forward. "It’s the people you surround yourself with! Look at your

Shadow

too. Can you say, with a hundred percent certainty, that she wouldn’t kill you?"

He squinted at me, as if daring me to lie.

I hesitated. "...I-I hope not. Not now, at least. Besides, I have precautions."

"Oh, the Bloodworm?" Michael ventured cautiously. His guess wasn’t

totally

wrong, so I didn’t bother to correct him. "I’ve been meaning to ask. How does that even work?"

I lifted a shoulder in a lazy shrug. "I don’t fully understand it myself. It’s an

Infant

Spirit Beast. You make it drink your blood, implant it into a person, draw a rune over their heart with, again, your blood... and voilà. Magic."

"The basic principle is that even our blood contains Essence," Kang picked up after me smoothly. "A Bloodworm, contrary to popular belief, feeds on Essence through a person’s blood, not the blood itself. And once it tastes someone’s Essence, it can only feed from that person. If you implant it in someone else, it’ll fall into a slumber. The rune acts as a trigger. When activated, the Bloodworm, which is now wrapped around the

Shadow

’s heart, wakes up and tries to move toward that rune since it would now be radiating its original host’s Essence. In that process, it crushes the

Shadow

’s heart."

"Ooof," Michael winced hard, then frowned. "Wait. So the rune is drawn over the heart, right?"

Instead of answering, Kang simply tapped the intricate crimson pattern tattooed onto the left side of his chest.

Michael slowly turned toward me. "...Then why is Julia’s rune on her right clavicle?"

"Ahhh, that’s because—" I drawled, closing my eyes... then snapping them open all of a sudden. "Wait. Why were

you

looking at her clavicle?"

"Ooooh!" Ray hooted instantly. "Mikey caught red-handed! Fuck, where’s my camera? This is going to be

gold

."

Michael’s pupils shrank as he flailed his hands above the water. "No! No! No! It just caught my attention because her rune was on the opposite side of Kang’s!"

"Uh-huh," Vince’s grin was all teeth. "Sure, Mickey. Keep telling yourself that, but you were checking out another girl! That’s practically cheating."

"Yeah, dude," I added, scrunching my nose in theatrical disgust. "Go take care of your own girlfriend instead of eyeing other women. Can’t you see how hot and bothered she is?"

Michael started to protest, then stopped mid-breath. "Wai—

what

?!"

Ray nodded enthusiastically. "He’s not wrong. Just the other day she was talking about Spirit Beast mating rituals.

Mating rituals

, Mikey! Even

I’m

not that freaky. Sleep with her already! We’ll give you privacy. No need to be shy. Just don’t be at it all the time, as you must be at home."

"Okay, first!" Michael snapped, his face all red in shame. "Yeah, that

was

weird, I agree. And second, we are

not

at it all the time even at home! In fact, we haven’t even done it yet!"

...As soon as he said that, his face turned

even redder

. He scrambled as if desperately to get the words back, but the damage was done.

"You... haven’t?" Ray asked very carefully, like he was afraid Michael might shatter.

Michael’s mouth opened, closed, then opened again.

"I— That’s not— I didn’t mean to—" he spluttered incoherently. "I mean— It’s not like we’re— We’re taking things slow, okay?!"

Ray slapped the water so hard it splashed all of us. "NO WAY! Where the fuck is my camera?!"

Vince pointed at Michael like he’d just discovered a rare cryptid. "Bro! Do you... like the chair... or something?"

Michael stared at him, as confused now as he was horrified. "The

what

?"

Kang smacked Vince’s hand, laughing hysterically.

"The

what

?! Why are you laughing? The what? Tell me!" Michael turned on me. "What does that mean?! What are they saying?!"

I was smiling myself, but decided to save the poor guy. "Guys, give it a rest. Lily has taken an oath of purity. She won’t have sex until marriage."

"Woah, I didn’t know she was

that

religious," Ray mused in surprise. "In this day and age, at that. But wait, she can kiss, right?"

My smile turned into a brazen grin. I couldn’t help myself. "Of course. Who do you think taught her how to?"

"BRO, what?!" Vince howled. "That explains it! Mickey

likes

the chair because he was already

in

the chair!"

Kang and Ray were having a blast by now.

"Ew! Shut up, Sam!" Michael nearly sprang to his feet, furious, embarrassed, and utterly unraveling all at once. "And what is this goddamn

chair

?!"

"Okay, okay, jokes aside," Ray began, catching his breath and ignoring the question. "Just make out with her, dude. Relieve the poor girl a little."

Suddenly, Michael’s face dropped. All his uneasiness and embarrassment were quickly replaced by something small and deeply sad.

"I... I can’t," he breathed with a shake of his head. "It wouldn’t be right."

We all stared. Even I had no idea what he was talking about.

"...What do you mean, it wouldn’t be right?" Vince blinked, then looked horror-struck. "Oh Monarchs! You don’t

actually

like the chair, do you? Because I know a

great

therapist and—"

And just like that, his embarrassment was back. "WHAT’S THIS CHAIR?!"

We lost it again.

Ray doubled over, slapping the water. "THE CHAIR! He’s asking! A man

in

the chair is asking what the chair is!"

"I swear to the gods, if one more person says that word—" Michael growled, but his voice cracked halfway through, completely undermining the threat.

Vince wiped imaginary tears from his eyes. "It’s all good, man. I’ll forward you that therapist’s contact info. He’s great with emotionally compromised individuals."

"I am not emotionally compromised!"

"Sounds like something a man in the chair would say," Kang deadpanned.

That was it.

Michael surged to his feet so fast the water sloshed violently, steam billowing around him like he was about to ascend rather than murder us all.

"I’m leaving," he declared, pointing at every single one of us in turn. "I am leaving before I drown one of you."

"Oh come on," Ray wheezed between chuckles. "You’re the one who brought it up!"

"I did

not

bring up the chair!"

"You brought up

not

doing it," Vince corrected helpfully. "The chair just manifested naturally."

Michael let out an inarticulate noise of pure suffering and stomped toward the edge of the basin.

"Hey, careful," I added cheekily. "Slippery ground. Wouldn’t want you falling back into—"

"DON’T," he barked, grabbing his clothes and storming off into the trees, muttering things that definitely were some very colorful curses.