Gouâer seemed dazed for a moment. But when Chen Changsheng asked how he had ascended the City Platform, Gouâerâs face clearly darkened.
It seemed like something he didnât want to talk about.
Seeing his reluctance, Chen Changsheng said, âIf you donât wish to speak of it, let it be.â
Gouâer looked at him and said, âActually, I never could have become the Divine Child. He gave it to me. He said that in life, debts must be repaid. I saved his life, so he had to repay me.â
âSo many people died that day. He dragged me through, carving a bloody path with his own hands. He threw me onto the City Platform.â
After hearing this, Chen Changsheng asked, âWhat sort of person was he?â
Gouâer replied, âHim? A martial artist. Very strong. But he loved killing too much, and his words never made sense.â
Chen Changsheng said, âTo walk the same path as such a personâŠâ
âI didnât want to,â Gouâer admitted. âHe insisted on repaying the debt for saving him. He dragged me along.â
âIs this man you speak of still alive?â
âHe is.â
Gouâer said, âBut I donât know where he is now.â
âThen why are you unwilling to speak of it?â Chen Changsheng asked.
âIâŠâ Gouâer lowered his head. âToo many people died. I didnât want to become the Divine Child. I told him I just wanted fewer people to die. Later, I told him about the City Platform.â
âHe said, âIf your heart isnât at peace, kill whoever troubles it. Eggs hitting stones only break themselves. But stone can shatter stone. First, you must become stone.ââ
âThen he dragged me straight to the City Platform in Eastern Province.â
When Gouâer was thrust into the heart of the killing, he truly felt the greed and murderous intent swirling in every heart. That chaos haunted him, flashing through his mind long after he fainted.
âI didnât kill those people myself, but I often think of it. If I hadnât found him in the woods that day, maybe so many wouldnât have died because of me.â
Gouâer fell silent. To this day, it was hard for him to accept.
Chen Changsheng also grew quiet upon hearing this.
Finally, he said, âGo back now.â
Gouâer was startled and looked at him.
Chen Changsheng raised his head and said, âThink about this: might your way of thinking be too ideal?â
âNot everyone in this world holds kindness in their heart. Trying to awaken something that was never there is like doing something pointless.â
âYou have some wisdom, but truly enlightened monks do not reach the Great Dao merely by avoiding killing and preaching mercy. Even those on that path need long vision, not stubborn self-righteousness, to glimpse the Great Dao.â
Chen Changsheng said no more. He waved his hand as if urging him to leave.
Seeing this, Gouâer kept his head down.
He wanted to speak several times but felt there was nothing wrong with what this man had said.
Gouâer bowed his head and murmured, âFarewell, Mr. Chen.â
He turned and walked away without looking back.
As he left, he looked lonely.
His very existence seemed ill-fitted to this world.
Upon returning to his courtyard, Gouâer shut himself away.
He questioned his choices often. Deep down, he knew all the people who had told him these things werenât wrong. Yet he still refused to walk a path of endless killing.
He numbed himself repeatedly, burying everything heâd seen and heard within his heart, unwilling to speak of it.
He was only running away. Only afraid.
Truthfully, he had no great skill. No great persistence.
He was just terribly foolish.
Even he thought so.
âŠâŠ
Over the following days, Gouâer never visited Chen Changshengâs small courtyard again.
Song Gudao sent someone to find Gouâer and brought him to the City Tower.
When Gouâer learned everything, he was lost once more.
He shook his head, unable to tell what was right or wrong here.
âHow can this beâŠâ
Standing on the City Tower that day, Gouâer asked Song Gudao, âWhy must it be this way? Is there no other choice?â
Song Gudao shook his head. âIn the fading years of magic, this is the only way.â
Gouâer fell silent. He had wanted to change this realityâto destroy the City Platform so fewer would die. Yet, without it, countless more would be endangered.
How could the result be like this?
Gouâer couldnât accept it.
âŠâŠ
Gouâer returned to his courtyard looking utterly shattered. He glanced at the neighboring garden. Hesitated three times. But he finally went and knocked on the door.
Half a month had passed before Chen Changsheng saw him again.
Seeing Gouâer like a lost soul, Chen Changsheng likely understood.
âCome in.â
Gouâer sat down in the courtyard.
âSomething happened,â he asked, almost pleading. âCan I ask for your guidance?â
Chen Changsheng replied calmly, âAsk.â
Gouâer said, âThe existence of the City Platform⊠is it right? Or wrong? Mr. Chen, I donât understand. I canât tell.â
Chen Changsheng asked, âDo you think it leans towards goodness? Or wrong?â
After a long moment of thought, Gouâer gave his answer. âI⊠donât know.â
Chen Changsheng said, âNot everything has to be settled by declaring right or wrong.â
âTo kill one man to save thousands? To kill thousands to save one? These choices seem vastly different. Yet viewed through the lens of greater righteousness, perhaps neither is truly wrong.â
âIf you cling to judging only right or wrong, you may never find the answer.â
Gouâer pressed his lips together. Softly, he asked, âMust this world really be kept alive only by endless killing?â
Chen Changsheng shook his head. âKilling isnât the only solution. The world is tangled. It cannot be grasped in a single phrase. When I earlier told you to look further ahead, I did not mean for you to focus only on killing or not killing.â
âLook at what Song Gudao has done. On the altar of greater righteousness, he coldly calculates the deaths of tens of thousands. Yet who, truly knowing the reason, would call him wrong? Though not everyone, surely most would say he acted rightly.â
âSuch choices cannot be decided by others telling you to do or not do them. They rest within yourself. For in this, no one can make the choice in your stead.â
âYou need vision broad enough to guide such decisions.â
Gouâer stared at Chen Changsheng. He understood perhaps halfâmaybe lessâbut couldnât formulate any reply.
What he did understand was this: he had sought guidance for a question without an answer.
Gouâer rose to leave. Chen Changsheng offered no more words.
His own courtyard was mere steps away.
But for Gouâer now, those steps felt like torture.
Kill thousands to save millions!
It ran counter to the way he believed in. But he could not call it wrong.
An act seemingly absurd, yet wrapped in grim logic.
Why must the world hold such torturous things?
Gouâer sank onto the step at his courtyard door.
Vaguely, he realized a very long road likely lay ahead.
A road whose end he could not yet see.