We stopped by a mart to buy a shovel.
"Do you have money?"
"Seriously? You came empty-handed and still grabbed stuff?"
"I'm on an important mission to save the universe. You're an Avenger too—help out and we'll call it even!"
I was about to pay, but Deadpool kept piling things onto the counter. Snacks, drinks, liquor, and more.
"Hey! Why are you buying all this?"
I picked up the coconut oil and waved it at him.
"My skin's been rough. I need to moisturize."
"Then what's this?"
This time I held up a box of condoms and shook it.
"That's… just in case things work out with my ex."
"This is driving me insane... then this!"
I grabbed the squeaky rubber chicken that made a weird noise when squeezed.
"Felt like I had to buy it."
"Unbelievable... We're on the run, and you think you can haul all this junk around? Put it all back!"
Deadpool clutched the chicken to his chest, refusing to give it up.
Squeak-squeak!
"I'm not giving this one up!"
I gave in and just bought the chocolate bar, drink, shovel, and the squeaky chicken.
We left the mart, used the Tempad to open a portal, and arrived at the forest in North Dakota where Wolverine was buried. After walking a bit, we saw a pile of stones with an X made of wood.
"Ha! Found it!"
Deadpool snatched the shovel from me and tapped the mound of stones.
"See? It's right here. I bet Wolverine's hibernating underground. You can't underestimate a healing factor's regeneration!"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"Right... hibernating, sure."
Deadpool tossed the squeaky chicken to me.
"Guard Squeaky!"
Then he started digging up Wolverine's grave. I sat on a fallen tree nearby, drinking the canned coffee we'd bought, and watched. After digging for a while, a loud sound echoed out.
Clang!
"Bingo! Just as I thought... ugh... yeah, that makes sense..."
He'd found Wolverine's body. No surprise there. Seeing the rotted corpse, Deadpool seemed to crash back to reality. He stood there in silence for a moment, accepting that Wolverine was truly dead, then started smashing the body with the shovel to vent his anger.
"Damn it!"
Clang!
"You son of a bitch!"
Clang!
"This fucking sucks!"
Clang!
"Our world is fucked~~~!!"
Still not satisfied, he snapped the shovel over his knee and threw it aside.
Thud!
"Bam!"
Thinking he'd cooled off, I tossed him a canned coffee.
"Feeling better now?"
Deadpool caught it, lifted his mask slightly to drink, and said.
"Ugh... yeah, but the world's still ending..."
He tried to carry Wolverine's corpse out of the hole he'd dug.
"Hey, hey. Just leave him. The guy's dead and trying to rest. Digging him up to check was enough."
At my words, Deadpool seemed to agree. He laid the body back down and climbed out alone. Maybe it's because I'm Korean, but disturbing a dead person's body felt wrong.
Deadpool looked like he was deep in thought. I reburied Wolverine myself. Good thing I bought two shovels just in case. I rebuilt the X and set it back in front of the grave, then paid my respects for a moment.
"You said your name was Jin?"
"Yeah."
"You religious? Looked like you were praying."
"I'm not religious, but I do believe in gods. And I wasn't praying—I was wishing him peace."
My Playful Life awakening had only been possible because many gods pooled their power for Earth. Of course I believed.
"What's the difference? Believing in gods is the same as being religious."
"It's complicated. Anyway, what now?"
"I have to find another Wolverine."
"Bringing in a different Wolverine probably won't help..."
Deadpool snapped at me.
"How would you know! I can't just sit here and watch the world vanish."
He seemed determined to try everything he could. Honestly, I'd probably do the same in his shoes.
That's when orange portals opened nearby. TVA agents stepped through, batons in hand, slowly approaching us. I saw the leader who'd first kidnapped Deadpool to the TVA. These looked like his team.
"Jin-CEO, please step back for a moment. We'll finish this quickly and send you back to your world."
Hearing that, I put a little distance between myself and Deadpool. He stared at me, dumbfounded.
"Wow~ seriously! I'm hurt. Think about all the beautiful memories we've shared!"
More of Deadpool's nonsense. We'd known each other less than a day. What memories?
"Whoa~ I'm a pacifist. I'll just guard Squeaky."
"Traitor!"
Squeee! Squeak!
I just squeezed the chicken in response.
"Wade Wilson, the Time Variance Authority places you under arrest for numerous crimes! Surrender and you'll be transported with proper decorum!"
"I'm not dying to background extras."
Deadpool drew the swords on his back.
"This is your last chance! Drop your weapons and surrender peacefully!"
"Fuck off!"
At his words, Deadpool charged the TVA agents, slicing throats and deflecting batons as he fought. I sat back down on the fallen tree and watched. Blood sprayed everywhere. Arms, legs, and heads flew through the air while agents screamed.
Slash~! Thud! Smack! Slice!
"Aagh~! My arm!"
"Guh!"
"Cough!"
"Urk!"
Deadpool was a special forces soldier before getting dishonorably discharged and working as a merc. He really does fight well.
Despite being outnumbered, Deadpool overwhelmed the TVA agents. More agents poured through portals mid-fight, but it only increased the body count.
When only a few remained, the leader couldn't take it anymore and shouted.
"Stop it! Logan was a hero, and the only decent thing Canada ever produced. And you defiled his grave, you bastard!"
Hearing that, an enraged Deadpool hurled his sword so the flat of the blade hit the ground. It bounced up and embedded itself in the nameless leader's head. The man died standing without even a scream.
Deadpool walked up to the leader, now dead on his feet with a sword in his skull, and said.
"Don't you talk about my country! And give me my sword back!"
He pulled the sword from the leader's head. As he moved to finish off the last few agents, I stopped him.
"That's enough. They've lost the will to fight. Let them go."
I spoke to the remaining agents too.
"You're not planning to fight anymore, right?"
Given a way out, the agents nodded frantically. When I motioned for them to leave, they hesitated for a second, then opened a portal and bolted. Watching them go, Deadpool wiped the blood from his blade and sheathed it.
"Look at the saint! Didn't do a damn thing."
"If a life can be spared, it should be. I'm a pacifist, remember?"
I tossed the squeaky chicken back to Deadpool. He caught it and tucked it into his side belt.
"I'm going to look for another Wolverine. You coming?"
"Sure. Nothing else to do here."
Deadpool and I entered various dimensions, searching for a Wolverine to replace the one who died in his world.
First, we met a short Wolverine who looked straight out of the original comics. Deadpool immediately started mocking him.
"Well look at that, a fuzzy little midget. You're standing? Good job! Little guy, comic-accurate..."
I covered Deadpool's mouth. He swatted my hand away.
"Why?"
"You're asking for help and you're running your mouth? Let me apologize."
The comic-accurate Wolverine popped his claws, ready to fight, but backed down and went back to drinking when I apologized. Deadpool looked at him and said to me.
"He's not the one."
"Got it. Hang on."
I walked over to the small Wolverine and apologized again.
"Sorry about my friend. He's got a filthy mouth. This is my apology."
I placed a hand on his back and used [Formless Shift] to increase his height to that of a normal Wolverine. His shirt ripped apart and his pants burst at the seams like the Hulk's.
"Ugh, what the hell..."
Wolverine looked at his body in shock.
"It's my ability. If you don't like it, I can change you back."
He waved his hands frantically, refusing.
"No, no, thank you."
I went back to Deadpool. He stared at me, amazed.
"No way, how'd you do that? The midget got big."
"It's my ability."
"Whoa~ you're a powered person. Could've mentioned that sooner."
We moved on to the next Wolverine. This one was in a city engulfed in flames, leaning against a wall to rest. He was missing an arm. Deadpool called out to him.
"Hey! Place is a total inferno. Raising a dragon or something?"
Deadpool kept talking to him, so I knew from the original story to just use stealth and hide. This Wolverine was 'Weapon X Wolverine'—a killing machine you couldn't reason with.
"As an Anchor Being, your face is just..."
Before Deadpool could finish, Wolverine threw a punch and started beating him mercilessly. When Deadpool didn't react at all, Wolverine just walked away. I dropped stealth, went over to Deadpool, and slapped his cheek.
Smack! Smack!
"Hey, you okay?"
"Urgh! Captain!"
Deadpool suddenly yelled "Captain!" as he got up.
"He's not the one either."
"Yeah..."
Next, we met Patch, the vigilante Wolverine. He was gambling in a casino.
"Patch! Our world's about to vanish. So if you could help us... ghk!"
Patch, annoyed that his gambling was interrupted, immediately stabbed his claws through Deadpool's head and tossed him to the floor.
"Hey! That's uncalled for. You don't even know what's going on and you do this to a person?"
"Want me to do it to you too?"
Patch stood up and moved to attack me, so I used my [Tremor-Tremor Fruit] ability to pin him down with gravity.
"Graaaah!"
Crack!
Patch was slammed to the floor hard enough to crack it, screaming as he couldn't get up. I pulled a staff from my inventory and smacked his butt with it. The staff was also transmuted into adamantium.
"Manners!"
Whack!
"Graah!"
"Make the!"
Whack!
"Grah! Stop!"
"Person!"
Whack!
"Graaaah!"
"Got it?"
Whack!
"Grrgh!"
"Do you get it?"
Whack!
"Graah! I get it. I get it!"
"Good. Try living with a better attitude from now on."
I released the gravity. Patch got up from the floor, glared at me once, then limped out of the casino while holding his butt. Everyone else was terrified by the scene and ran off too.
I flipped the oddly posed Deadpool over and slapped him awake.
"Hey! Wake up."
Smack! Smack!
"Blub blub, Avengers!"
Deadpool woke up spouting more nonsense.
"He's not the one either."
"Yeah."
Next was a Wolverine with a massive, muscular build. He was working on a motorcycle, and it looked like he'd just finished because he was testing the throttle.
Vroom~!
Seeing how cool he looked, Deadpool nudged my shoulder and said.
"This is it~ oh yeah!"
I had to agree—he looked incredible. His arm muscles rippled every time he revved the throttle.
"Finally found the right one. This is Wolverine's complete form. But from behind he kinda looks like Henry..."
Wolverine slowly turned to look at Deadpool. Deadpool stared at him and yelled, shocked. It was the actor who played Superman.
"Oh~ my god! Holy shit! 'Cavillrine'—the legend's real. On behalf of all humanity, you're absolutely perfect!"
Honestly, this was the main reason I'd come along. Playful Life, I love you.
"We'll treat you right. Screw those Zack Snyder guys!"
"Get lost."
This Wolverine had an attitude too.
"No! The fate of my universe..."
He moved to attack, so I quickly stepped in.
"Whoa whoa! Hold on! Calm down, we're not here to fight. Deadpool, talk to me for a sec."
I got between them and stopped Cavillrine, who went back to his motorcycle. I immediately pulled Deadpool aside.
"He's not an option."
"Why!? He's perfect. Look at those muscles. Don't they make you wanna cry?"
"The fee."
"Bam! Damn it... he was perfect."
I honestly wanted to bring him too. But the story had to move forward, so I couldn't. Now that I knew the Marvel multiverse was connected, next time for sure...