Volume 6: Gamma-11, Chapter 6.37

I was in a sea of endless black, but it wasn’t terrifying like the normal void, rather it was warm and inviting—like an eternal embrace with no beginning or end.

I wondered if I was dead, but the fact I had a presence of mind meant I had to have some semblance of existence—of course, that could be what death was; a vague frame of being lost in eternity, no real sense of self or anything.

I decided to take stock of what I still possessed; no body, that much was obvious—no physical existence. Were my senses still active though? Didn’t seem like it—no real sight, no hearing or sensation of touch either. But I could perceive the endless abyss around me, so didn’t that mean I could see? Or was it some other kind of sense that connected me to the surrounding darkness?

I tried to focus on my surroundings, on the blackness—to give it shape and form. I was surprised to realize my senses actually could focus with some effort of will, and I noticed there was something else in the endless void.

It was subtle at first, but as I continued to focus on the

something

in the void, it was given shape and eventually color, and then it grew to take up most of my perception.

It was a massive, burning golden eye—bright like an ethereal beacon, there was no real definition between the sclera and the iris, it was all just vivid yellow, framed in long, elegant, feminine black eyelashes that seemed to tower and spiral around it. In the center of the eye, however, where a pupil should’ve been was another large eye—solid gold and glowing same as the first, framed with dark lashes, and inside that eye there was another eye instead of a pupil—and so on, with an infinite chain of burning yellows eyes.

Focusing on the massive eye, I was given more of a sense of self and could gauge my own size in comparison; whatever formless perception I was now, it seemed like I was the size of a normal person, and yet the massive Eternal Eye before me was at least the size of the sun.

The Eye was massive, but the endless abyss was still around it, unfathomably dark and deep and weirdly alive as though it was trying to claw after my presence, but the Eye kept the darkness away, protecting whatever was left of me.

Despite being a speck of existence before the Eternal Eye, it was obviously looking directly at me, and I got the strangest sense it viewed me favorably—no, more than that, it loved and adored me.

It wasn’t hard to make the connection then as I realized the Eternal Eye was somehow Eve.

I tried to ask if I was dead, but having no mouth—no body at all, my thoughts drifted through the void without any real presence, and I wondered if the oppressive dark would prevent me from communicating properly.

As though she could hear me anyways, I heard a soft trilling sound echo through the void, and I realized it was Eve’s laughter, but different from what I normally knew; it was alien and deep to the point it reverberated through whatever was left of my being, and yet it was endless and musical, like a chorus of angels singing—divinity presenting itself to the lowly mortal before it. It was both familiar and indescribable, and while it was inspiring and revitalizing, there was something in it that made me want to me sing and celebrate in response, or break down and weep at its beauty—or flee in terror from its power.

“No darling, you aren’t dead.” Eve’s voice said, clear as a bell, musical and alluring, motherly and protective, and impossibly powerful—unfathomable. The voice didn’t come from the Eye, rather it came from the void all around us, but it seemed to be centered around the Eye—channeled maybe, all so the lowly mortal could understand the words of a god.

I cowered from the words at first, as though her presence had been too powerful and diminished whatever was left of me, but I recovered quickly thanks to her protecting me from herself.

“Well, not

technically

.” Eve’s voice added.

That little aside made me more determined to make sure my voice could be properly heard, so I focused on myself and gathered my will to give my presence the form to speak.

“Eve, what the hell does that mean?” My voice came from my presence, bold and clear, but not spoken through any mouth I could perceive.

Another trilling chorus echoed around the void, and I felt the love and amusement intermingling through the music as though it was a storm.

“Very good baby, I’m so proud you’re able to manifest yourself in my presence like this.” Eve said, ignoring my question for now.

Her praise hit me like a wave of pure euphoria, and despite the fact manifesting myself made her proud, I just about lost myself once again.

But I held strong, determined to see my questions through.

“Eve, seriously, what is this—where

are

we?” I pressed.

I could still feel Eve’s amusement all around me—through the entire void, despite the fact I was apparently not

technically

dead or whatever the hell that meant.

“An inevitability; you’ve finally been consumed by my void soul.” Eve confirmed.

I tried to gesture around me but still didn’t have a body to do anything—just a vague presence with a voice.

“That’s where we are, this is your void soul?” I asked.

The massive Eternal Eye continued to watch me with unfathomable fondness, “Correct, darling.”

I felt a wave of abject terror sweep over me, but it was slowly burned away by the overwhelming sensation of love and protectiveness coming from Eve. Still, in whatever mind I had left, I felt it was reasonable I should be afraid.

“So, then what am I—what’s left of me now?” I pressed.

It seemed like the echoing chorus of musical laughter wasn’t going to stop anytime soon, but at least it was a comforting sound.

“You’re still you, Adam, your essence is just housed within my void soul for now.” Eve clarified.

“Okay, so where’s my body—where’s the rest of me?” I asked.

“Your body is back in physical reality—don’t worry, I’m keeping it safe.” She assured me.

I was more than a little confused—actually, I had no fucking idea what was going on.

“And this is my mind here trapped while my body hangs out back in reality?” I inquired.

“A little more than that, but for the most part, yes.” Eve confirmed.

“Then what else is there—why am I not technically dead? What’s really going on?” I pressed.

The trilling chorus of beautiful laughter finally died down as Eve grew a little more serious.

“Adam, you should know from your history as a medic what happens when a person’s brain functions cease.” Eve said.

“So I’m fucking brain dead? Then how am I not really dead—because my mind is here with you?” I asked, a little more terror rising up to override that protective energy Eve was shielding me with.

“Adam, darling, what happens when a patient in a hospital is brain dead?” Eve asked calmly.

“Well, they’re hooked up to life-support to keep their body alive until arrangements can be made for the transition into death—harvesting organs and letting family say their last goodbyes and all that shit.” I answered, wondering if Eve was trying to reassure me with clinical facts, but it was definitely missing its mark if that was her aim.

“Right, so while your mind is here in my void soul, I’m keeping your body alive back in reality—totally safe within my embrace, your body would outlast all of humanity while I maintain it.” She assured me.

Okay, that was still a terrifying concept, the fact my body was brain dead while my mind was trapped within Eve’s void soul.

“How the hell does that work, my mind being disconnected from my physical body—from my brain. How am I actually here like this?” I pressed.

Eve seemed to have endless patience for all my questions, and she was calm and comforting while she answered everything.

“What exactly is a mind? Is it your brain matter, is it a collection of firing synapses, is it the bioelectrical energy that gives birth to all your thoughts—your consciousness? Whatever makes you who you are—your essence, that’s what’s here in my void soul.” Eve explained, though the existential nature of her answer was beyond what I could really understand.

“When you put it that way it sounds like you stole my soul or something.” I reasoned.

“No, I don’t think that’s the case; my soul is malleable, an intrinsic part of my existence—energy that can interact with reality. For mortals, their souls are intangible, untouchable, and once they pass on to whatever afterlife claims them, only then will their soul be unbound and unburdened by the constraints of mortality.” Eve explained.

Of course, it was a terrifying thought to lose my soul since I still remembered my lessons from Sunday School when my grandparents made me go to church as a kid, but even with Eve’s assurances, I couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of existential dread over the concept.

“Are you frightened?” Eve asked, her ethereal voice full of concern.

“Yes.”

The Eternal Eye’s burning gaze seemed to soften then, and I felt a waved of protective, loving warmth wash over me, “Adam, you have no reason to be afraid; I told you I would take care of you, dote on you and love you forever. Here, you’ll be completely safe, protected from all harm—no Empire could ever get to you.”

“And my body back in reality?” I pressed.

“It’s safe, and nothing would ever be able to breach the defenses of my biomass nest, but even without your body, your essence would remain here—with me for all eternity.” She assured me.

Obviously Eve was trying to make me feel better, but I was so overwhelmed by her power—nothing before the might and majesty of her presence. I felt so small before her, like I was so insignificant and had no control over anything now—like my life was over, given up to the Outsider god.

“No, no Adam, I’m not taking away your control—your free will; ask me for anything and I can provide it for you here—I can manifest anything you could ever wish for. Here in my void soul, I could create a paradise for you, give you endless pleasure, endless comfort, fill you with joy and love for all eternity.” She insisted.

She could make any promise, it wouldn’t change the fact I was just a weak, mortal presence trapped within her void soul—consumed and totally overwhelmed by her dark power.

“Could you give me a body in here at least?” I asked, tired of being this weird floating presence in the void.

I heard a chorus of musical sighs echo around me—millions of them all in unison, as though Eve was a little frustrated, but she was still protecting me while surrounding me in that comforting energy.

“You’re still so stuck on the idea of being mortal—of being

human

. Can’t you see I’m offering you more than that? No reason to limit yourself to the confines of a physical body.” She said.

The existential terror was starting to burn into her comforting energy a little more as she denied me my request for a body.

“Evie, please.” I said meekly.

There was a long pause, and I briefly wondered if Eve really would refuse me, but after a few moments I felt a strange, burning sensation as my presence in her void soul solidified, connected to a newly created body that manifested in the darkness.

I looked over myself to see it was all mostly normal—same shape as my human body, naked of course, but it seemed to be glowing a brilliant white inner-light, as though I was a spirit or specter—a living soul maybe. I moved my hands before my face and saw I had my normal fingers, I could wiggle my toes, I could open my mouth and speak—still had my trimmed beard and everything.

Now that I had an actual body I definitely felt better, but it made me feel even more insignificant in the endless void before the Eternal Eye.

As though to answer a request I hadn’t asked, a brilliant beam of golden light shot out from the Eternal Eye, and a few moments later another body manifested before me—this one an even brighter, brilliant white light to the point it seemed like it was living fire. The white flames solidified into a feminine figure—beyond perfect, with only vague features defined in the fire, with a spiraling white inferno for hair, and two glowing golden orbs for eyes.

The fiery manifestation of Eve glided forward, and I could see she was exactly my height, and she stopped when she was just a few feet in front of me.

“Hello darling.” Eve said, the words echoing all around the abyss, but centered around the manifestation.

“Hey Eve.” I shook my head slowly, “I have so many fucking questions.”

The fiery manifestation nodded once, “Ask away.”

I didn’t even know where to begin, and I was still fighting against the abject terror I felt in the void while Eve’s comforting energy tried to dissuade it on her own.

I gestured vaguely to the endless abyss around us as we floated there, “Is this really what you want, to keep me contained within your soul forever?”

The fiery manifestation cocked her head to the side, as though confused by my resistance, “Isn’t this what

you

want? To spend eternity with me—to love each other without boundaries or borders, just the two of us forever?”

I shook my head, “Can’t you understand that would be terrifying for a mortal—to be so totally overwhelmed like this, to have everything that I am taken from me?”

The fiery manifestation reached forward, placing her hand on my chest—spreading a comforting warmth through me to fight against the rest of my fear.

“Adam, I told you time and again I don’t want you to completely lose yourself within me; I want you to be who you are—always, no reason to change or control you. I offer you endless freedom and eternal bliss inside my void soul.” She insisted.

It felt like my mind was fogging over again, and I could see the shape of my physical body start to waver as I started to lose myself once again in her direct presence.

I pulled away from Eve quickly, “No! That’s not freedom, that’s possession. You want to keep me for yourself, away from danger, but away from everyone else too—kept away from living life.” I countered.

I expected this to be the part where Eve became frustrated at my defiance, but she remained impossibly calm and patient with me now.

“And what is the meaning of life for a mortal—what do you think I would be keeping you away from?” Eve asked.

The profound question stopped me for a few moments, and I thought over my answer while wondering if I was being led into a trick or trap.

“I dunno, probably to find the meaning of life or something.” I reasoned.

The fiery manifestation shook her head, “No Adam, it’s nowhere near as romantic and meaningful as people would like to think; the only meaning mortals have in life is to propagate their species—to eat, breed, and then die.” She held her arms out in a presenting manner, “And here I’m offering you freedom from that oppressive cycle.”

Suddenly it was clear why Eve looked down on lesser lifeforms—on all living creatures, whether they were insects, animals or even people; to Eve, all she saw of them was a basic existence meant to multiply and nothing else, with no meaning or purpose to any actions or accomplishments they made in life.

It was disheartening, it was terrifying, and yet it finally made so many things make sense—her interactions with other people, her disregard for life and her dismissive attitude over killing and mortal death.

“But Evie,

I’m

mortal, so no matter what you might think of me compared to other people, wouldn’t that mean that’s all my life means too—to propagate and die?” I asked.

Despite her endless patience with me, her calm energy was finally disturbed, and I felt a brief flash of anger as the Eternal Eye behind her glowered darkly at me—the fiery manifestation narrowing her golden orbs at me too.

“Do

not

talk about yourself like that! I told you time and again you aren’t like any other person—you aren’t a mortal at all! Already I’ve altered your body to make you more powerful than any other human, and you’ll outlive your entire race as you are now. But more than that, my soul is bound to yours, elevating you to a godly state you clearly don’t understand.” Eve said with significant heat, her words burning into me momentarily before the wave of calm energy could cool everything back down.

It seemed the only thing that really upset her was when I disparaged myself—when I didn’t accept her view of me being more than a simple human. And yet despite how passionate she was over the idea, I could scarcely understand her reasoning; what, just because she was in love with me—in love with a dumb, regular human? It really didn’t make sense.

I heard the chorus of sighs echo around us before Eve settled back down to continue.

“Adam, my beloved, my heart and my soul, I never expected you to understand my endless, unfathomable adoration for you, I only ask you let me unleash it upon you.” She said in a much clearer voice as the Eternal Eye and the fiery manifestation calmed back down.

It was clear she was trying to convince me to allow her to keep me trapped—gave me a little hope I could convince her to free me instead, but the fear was still there, threatening to overwhelm me.

“And what would that look like? I’d just be floating here endlessly while you dote on my mind—my essence? That sounds more terrifying than anything—not like I could really understand it.” I said.

The fiery manifestation held her hands out again, “What would you ask of me—what would your paradise look like?” She asked, then waved her hand out, and I could see our little apartment on

The Radiance

manifest before us in a strange bubble-vortex, looking like a vivid dream.

“Is that the real

Radiance

—like you could warp us back there?” I asked, a little confused since I was pretty sure we burned that bridge by killing those soldiers and faking our own deaths on

The Judicator

.

Eve shook her head, “No, a manifestation of our desires; we could live together through any dream you would ask of me—any adventure or experience, we can do it all here, safe in my void soul.”

I watched the image of

The Radiance

shift to show a preview of what Eve was offering; we were back working on the vessel with our comrades, a normal mission hunting down a different alien threat—living the lie we told the

Jessipie-90

crew about fighting specialty threats for the Empire. I watched a vision of myself sitting beside Eve and the researchers, joking around in the middle of a mission briefing—no bombs or failsafes or constraints, we were free to work together as friends and colleagues.

Another vortex manifested, this one showing Eve and myself walking through one of the Glorva Corp paradise stations in the Holistia Nebula, traveling down the golden moving walkway next to Kurgg and Nadresh—laughing together like a bunch of old friends.

Another vortex opened, this one showing a strange environment I didn’t recognize, an alien planet with blue grass and purple skies, with a black and red brick farmhouse in the distance. Before I could ask what was happening, I saw a copy of myself kick open the front door, carrying a giggling Eve over my shoulder in the classic fireman’s carry, heading off towards a pond with some strange alien birds that look like reptilian ducks, and I tossed Eve into the water before jumping in after her.

“Any adventure, any dream, any pleasure you could imagine, I could manifest it here for us.” Eve offered, her words seductive and poisonous.

More and more vortexes appeared before us, each one a window to a miraculous adventure, while quite a few of them were just us fucking in outrageous ways—Eve shapeshifting, multiplying herself, or taking some outrageous, overwhelming monstrous form to pleasure me.

All around me were visions of heaven with my Eve, and I knew I could live through all these lives for eternity—loved, adored and pleasured forever.

But it wasn’t real—wasn’t

human

, and more than that I wasn’t even sure if it would really be me in those visions, or an extension of whatever Eve turned me into.

A toy for her to play with until the end of time.

Despite the paradise Eve showed me, I’d still be trapped in the void, completely at her mercy.

No matter how much I loved Eve, no matter how much I wanted to spend forever with her, I could see the visions she offered were still a kind of prison—enslaved in paradise.

I shook my head slowly, drifting away from all the promises Eve was offering me, “Please Eve, can you just return me to my body now? We can go on real adventures together in reality.” I offered, still obviously wanting to spend my endless life with Eve, but I wanted to be in control.

I needed to be free.

The Eternal Eye continued to watch me, and the fiery manifestation looked around at all the vortex visions as they slowly blinked out of existence, returning us to darkness.

Once it was just us in the void, Eve continued to stare at me, and before she actually gave me an answer, I felt another wave of anger hit me—this one burning into me, causing me a terrible kind of psychic pain.

“No Adam, you belong to me—you belong

with

me, here, in my void soul for all eternity.” Eve insisted, her voice low and harsh as the chorus of Eves mirrored her threatening tone—a hurricane of dark desires I couldn’t even begin to fathom, “Forever and for always.”