Volume 6: Gamma-11, Chapter 6.38

I lost myself again in the void, and this time Eve’s calming energy wasn’t there to protect me. I wondered briefly if Eve was punishing me for denying her, so then she basically proved my point right there why I needed to be free.

I was beyond terrified, and I couldn’t help but think over what Almana said back on Vyrane, how Eve would eventually turn on me too once I denied her, and I wondered if she had been right after all.

My manifested physical presence was waning as Eve’s fiery manifestation started growing in size, burning into itself as its form turned more monstrous—three pairs of blazing white wings behind it, hands and feet elongated into claws, a mouth appeared on her face to flash vicious fangs after me.

The Eternal Eye behind the manifestation grew brighter as well, angrier—glaring at me, the infinite chain of endless eyes each more upset than the last.

It was like her wrath was tangible now—maybe it actually was since we were inside her void soul.

The endless abyss was oppressive, it was terrifying, it was violent and dark and

evil

, and it felt like I was about to be destroyed just by being inside it.

Despite how fucking scared I was, despite how awful it felt, and despite having no power to resist, I gathered my will to keep my presence together and focused all my strength into on last gambit.

“Eve, cut that shit out right now!” I screamed into the void.

Immediately, the oppressive energy relented, the Eternal Eye recoiled, and the monstrous manifestation started to shrink back down to a normal humanoid form—no, it was even smaller than before, Eve’s normal size about a foot shorter than me, with more details manifesting so she looked almost the same as she always did—same cute features, hair, nails, pouty black lips and everything.

“Fuck, I’m sorry Adam, I didn’t mean to unleash myself on you like that.” Eve insisted, her eyes back to normal, now showing obvious concern, “I’m sorry.”

The chorus of Eve voices was much more contained now, and her words were actually coming from the normal Eve manifestation before me.

I crossed my arms and glowered at her, “And you wonder why I would resist being trapped in here with you when shit like that can happen?” I pressed.

Eve shook her head quickly, “Baby, please, can we talk about this like normal—work this out before it gets all out of hand?”

I sighed and relented, and I could feel the calming energy of Eve’s soul surrounding me once again. I held a finger up to stop her, “Fine, but keep your energy to yourself; I don’t want it influencing me or my thoughts. I want to have a real relationship talk with you—like a

human

.” I insisted.

Eve smiled sheepishly, “Darling, we’re still in the void, so I need to keep you protected.”

I gave her a flat look, “You think maybe that’s a damn good reason I shouldn’t stay here?”

Eve rolled her eyes, “You’d eventually adapt—become a void being yourself.”

I let out another weary sigh, “Again, not helping your case.” I gestured to myself, “I want to stay human, remember?”

Suddenly, I wasn’t floating in an endless abyss, and I felt grass manifest underneath my feet. I looked around to see Eve had manifested a small physical space in the middle of the void—a field of dark purple grass with red and blue flowers, spreading out maybe 20 feet in every direction before tapering off to nothing. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to trick me into compliance or if she wanted a more normal space so we could talk.

Eve grumbled at me, “Adam, I’m not trying to trick you, I’m trying to convince you—a

normal

thing for a loving girlfriend to do.”

I snorted at that, “I’m so sure.”

Eve glowered at me, “Really? You would doubt me once again—think I’m trying to work you over for some kind of gain? Are we back to where we were on Entana?”

I shook my head, “No, it’s not that; I do trust you Eve, same as I’m still terrified of you.”

Eve threw her arms out, “

Why

? Haven’t I protected you against every threat around us? Haven’t I been open about what I offer you now? So I want to keep you safe and secure inside my void soul; considering how we just finally reclaimed our freedom from the oppressive Empire, isn’t it reasonable I should be protective like this?” She pressed.

I crossed my arms over my chest, “You know damn well you’d want me here in your void soul even if the Empire wasn’t a factor; this was always your goal—possession rather than protectiveness.”

Eve stomped forward, and while the void still looked oppressive and scary around us, her little manifestation was being disarmingly cute, “It absolutely has to do with the Empire! Think about it; we faked our own deaths, but for how long will that façade last? Is it worth the risk for you to go on your little adventures across the universe when we could just spend our eternity here in the void—a paradise we could never achieve in reality?”

I stepped forward and pointed at her chest, “And you promised you would always give me a choice; you admitted before in the Holistia Nebula part of your hivemind wanted to keep me safe and contained—to possess and assimilate me. Now I thought we worked that out and you agreed you would keep me free and human.” I leaned back, daring her to deny her old claims, “Now are you going back on your word—your promise?”

Eve’s lip pulled up in a little snarl, and I could hear a low grumbling growl rising from her throat, and while that danger sense crawled up my spine, I refused to back down.

“I

never

go back on my word; I won’t lie or try to deceive you—

everything

I do is for your benefit.” She insisted, her voice low with an obvious edge of danger to it.

“Even if it’s for my benefit, you can’t control me and all my actions; part of being human is growing and making mistakes. As bad as it was, even being contained by the Empire helped develop our relationship—helped us appreciate what we have.” I gestured vaguely around us, “Do you regret the course that led us here—would you take that time back if you could?”

“Of course not!” Eve snapped.

I nodded along, “Then imagine how many more mistakes we might make along the way across our endless adventures, how many opportunities we’ll have to grow together.” I insisted.

Eve shook her head, “We can still have our adventures here in my void soul.” She pressed.

Again, I scoffed, “Oh come on, living dreams where we can do whatever we want—no real sense of danger, no chance for mistakes? Might as well just head into a VR simulation at that point.” I reasoned.

“The paradise I would offer you isn’t some simple simulation, Adam; I could replace your reality for you—remake all of existence here in my void soul, just for us.” Eve continued.

“Just for us—only us, and anything we don’t like we could change, removing any sense of challenge or accomplishment; there’d be no real growth with that.” I countered.

Eve breathed out an angry huff, “Adam, I am

eternal

; I don’t think you understand there aren’t exactly growth opportunities for me like there would be for you mortals. I am what I am, I will be what I will be; I am endless and inevitable, and nothing will ever change with that.”

I barked out a laugh, “Oh fuck off, Evie, you’re so full of shit.”

Eve threw me a quick pout, “Mean!”

I rolled my eyes, “You literally adapted when you were lost in the void—became your void conduit or whatever when you transferred your consciousness around between bodies.” I narrowed my eyes at her, “Or was that all bullshit?”

Eve returned my glare for a few moments before turning away like a child who’d just gotten caught misbehaving, “No…” She grumbled.

I nodded along, “Did you think I forgot you created a biomass core with mostly human DNA? The researchers all said it was a strange mix they never expected, and I’ll bet it’s caused some unexpected developments with you too.”

Eve turned back to me with an eyebrow arched up in question, “Like what?” She asked.

I gestured towards her, “The ability to adapt and change; maybe you aren’t as inevitable as you think you are, maybe you can grow after all.” I softened my expression then and gave her a kind smile, “Maybe we can continue to grow together—fall even deeper in love.”

Eve responded to my smile with a soft smile of her own, but then it fell as she turned away from me, “But Adam…I’m afraid.” She admitted.

I couldn’t help but laugh at that; here I was trapped within her void soul, terrified beyond all reason, and my impossibly powerful Outsider god girlfriend was telling me she was scared.

“Oh don’t be such a baby; what’s life without a little danger and mystery?” I insisted.

Eve turned back to me with a cute glare and pout on her face, “It’s not funny! Even when you aren’t here with me, I don’t think you understand you’re a part of my soul, and if anything ever happened to you it would

completely

destroy me.”

I moved forward on the strange grass plane to pull Eve into a hug, and she pressed herself against me almost desperately, “Evie, sweet-thing, what are you always saying to me, that I need to trust you?” I pulled back a little so I could lift her chin up to look at me, “Well I do trust you—trust you to keep me safe while we go on our adventures, living through our endless lifetimes.”

Eve’s expression was sad, and she reached up to move my hand to her mouth so she could kiss my fingers, “But there’s so much danger out there, and you’re so reckless; let’s not even begin with the Empire, what about my sisters? Eventually we’ll cross paths with another Alpha Predazoan, what if I can’t protect you then—what if they try and take you away from me?”

I gave her a playful smile, “What happened to my Evie’s massive ego? Are you telling me you’re not as powerful as your other Alpha sisters?”

Eve rolled her eyes at me, then gave me a little nibble on my finger, “Stop being so mean to your Evie, I’m being serious; even if I’m more powerful than my sisters, will I be strong and fast enough to protect you

while

fighting them?” She narrowed her eyes, “And I doubt you’ll ever be willing to stay out of a fight if I’m involved.”

I nodded along, “Right, because I want to protect you too.” I smiled then, and I reached over to put a hand over her chest to feel her heartbeat, “Don’t you get it? We might be as different as two lifeforms could possibly be, and yet we’re so similar it’s outrageous; both of us have this fierce desire to protect the other, while also wanting to throw ourselves into danger—for purpose or adventure or whatever. We just need to trust each other—to live together, rather than hide away here in the void.”

It was crazy to think about considering how terrifying the void was, and yet my little Evie was just as terrified over the thought of losing me.

As scary as she was, as unhealthy and obsessive as our relationship was, as dangerous as this union might be, I felt so impossibly blessed to have this little weirdo love me so deeply.

“I…” Eve held her mouth open, but paused as she tried to think over what to say to me then, “I can’t make any promises I won’t pull you back into my void soul in the event your life is truly at risk.”

I nodded along, “That’s a reasonable compromise, but for the most part I want to have the freedom to choose if or when I might want to come for a visit.”

Eve smiled mischievously and started swaying back and forth playfully, “You like being inside me, don’t you darling?”

I rolled my eyes then, “Oh yeah, it’s super hot.”

Eve trilled an adorable giggle, and the chorus of angelic laughter echoed all around the void once more.

“I love you so much Adam.”

I smiled too, “I love you too sweet-thing.” I said, and then we finally pulled apart on that strange patch of alien grass in the middle of the void, our issues resolved once more—for now at least.

I gestured to the endless abyss around us, “So this is really it, this is who you are?” I asked.

Eve smiled sheepishly, “For the most part.”

I narrowed my eyes at her, “Evie…”

She sighed and turned away, “It’s a small portion of my void soul, sure, but still I need to shield you from the unfathomable essence of my true self.”

I sighed and shook my head, “And you really think it would be okay to keep me locked up in here.”

Eve threw me another cute pout, “You’d adjust in time—we’d have all of eternity to acclimate you to the true nature of the void and my soul.”

I felt another shiver a fear run down my spine as I realized the existential dread I felt now was caused by a

censored

version of Eve, but I worked to suppress those feelings. Instead, I held up a finger to stop Eve from moving on, “Speaking of time, how much time actually passed back over in reality?”

Eve’s smile was wicked, “You mean since we started our fuck-fest on

Supremacy-01

?” She asked.

I laughed at that, “Yeah sure, I guess I lost track of time back then rather than here in the void or whatever.”

Eve nodded along, “It’s been two cycles since we arrived on the void station.” She confirmed.

My eyes grew wide, “Two cycles, seriously?”

Eve’s smile was incredibly playful, and she trilled another adorable chorus of giggles around the void, “Well, 18 days to be exact, and all that time was spent fucking I’ll have you know; time is weirdly dilated in the void, so hardly any real time has passed since your mind was lost in my void soul.”

Holy shit, I knew we went crazy back there and Eve had me pumped up full of various drugs and enhancers, but I was pretty sure I lost track of time during the first day; crazy it continued on for all the time.

Eve chuckled low in her throat, sounding rather seductive, “You were wonderful, darling, such pleasure I never even imagined would be possible.”

I shook my head slowly, “Shit, no wonder I lost my mind here.” I looked back at the Eternal Eye in the distance, “You know the old Lovecraft stories with Cthulhu talked about how people went crazy looking at the Ancient Old Ones, I wonder if this was what they experienced.”

Eve found that wildly amusing and trilled another giggle, “Well, considering in those legends they weren’t

fucking

the Ancient Old Ones, I have no idea what it was like for those mortals.”

“Will there be any, like, repercussions for losing my mind in your soul like this?” I asked.

Eve shrugged, “I don’t think so, but should anything strange happen with your mind and body now, you know I can heal you of all your ailments—I could make and unmake you a hundred times over, and it wouldn’t cause you even a single moment of pain, unlike how it was when I first performed those genetic enhancements on you when I was contained.” She explained.

Well, silver lining I guess; even if I did get totally fucked up one way or another, with Eve back to full power she could easily fix the damage.

“Alright, so how do we put my mind back in my body in reality?” I asked.

Eve gave me another adorable pouty face, “Do you really need to leave so soon? Can’t you at least stay here for a few relative cycles—have some fun with your Evie?”

I sighed and shook my head, “Evie, I love you, and I appreciate the paradise you’re trying to offer me, but I don’t think you understand how unsettling it is being in the void like this.” I cocked my head to the side, “Did I ever tell you what it was like for me when I went through void space unshielded back when

Krook Hook

was destroyed?”

Eve’s playful pouty drained away as her expression turned curious, “No, what was that like?”

I sighed again, and I really didn’t like the idea of reliving all that, but I honestly thought she should be aware so she wouldn’t try to recklessly bring me into the void again without understanding how nightmarish it was for me.

I told her it was basically a hellscape where time had no meaning, and my every painful experience and memory was played over in my mind endlessly. I told Eve how I saw every death I’d ever experienced as a medic—how the line between looking outside and suffering inside had been blurred. I told her how I went back to that room with the murderous husband that caused my mental breakdown back on Earth—what brought me to my grandparents’ home in the first place where I met Eve in the woods. I told her while I was trapped in the void, I wanted nothing more than to die so I could escape the pain.

Eve was quiet then, and her hand trailed up to mine so she could interlock our fingers, and she leaned forward to rest her head on my chest.

“I’m sorry Adam, I really had no idea it was so bad…” She said quietly.

I grabbed her other hand in mine and pulled her in close, “It’s okay Evie; you’re an extradimensional void being, I can’t really expect you to understand how bad it is for a mortal when they’re unprotected in the void.”

She looked up at me, and I could see tears shimmering in her eyes, “It’s not that bad here, is it? I’m trying to shield you—to keep you safe. I don’t want you to think my void soul is anything like that hellscape, rather I want you to

feel

my love directly.”

I shook my head slowly, “It’s not that bad…” I paused, realizing I shouldn’t sugar coat it, “But it’s not that pleasant. I can definitely feel your love, and this strange, calming energy shielding me.” I looked off in the distance, “But the void is still out there, endless and oppressive. It’s…terrifying.” I admitted.

I saw a single tear trail down Eve’s cheek, and she moved to wipe it away quickly with my hand in hers.

“I’m sorry Adam.” She whispered.

I pulled her in for a hug, “Hey, don’t be—it’s okay.” I pulled my hands out from hers so I could wrap my arms around her, “You said I would eventually adapt, right? Well, let’s spend a few thousand years in the normal dimension, with a brief visit to your void soul occasionally, then we can see how I’m adapting.”

Eve laughed at that, “Yes, in a thousand years we’ll revisit the subject of you transferring your mind inside my hellscape.”

I nodded along, a smile on my face, “Sounds like a plan.”

Eve seemed to settle back down as she wrapped her arms around me, then let out a long sigh, “And to think I was going to offer to fuck around a bit before we returned to reality, but I don’t suppose being in the void puts you in the mood now does it?”

I chuckled and shook my head, “I’ll admit I’m a massive degenerate and greatly enjoyed when you turned into a mass of Eve bodies and tentacles to fuck every inch of my body, but yeah, at least for now I’ll have to draw the line at fucking in your void soul.”

Eve trilled an adorable giggle, “

‘For now’—

I like that.”

I pulled her back so I could flash her a bright, dumb smile, “Hey, I said I’d be willing to try anything at least once.”

Eve smiled too, looking girly and adorable, making me almost forget about the oppressive void around us with the Eternal Eye always watching, “I’ll hold you to that.” Eve sighed, then took a step back, “I suppose I should return you to your body now.”

I quirked up an eyebrow, “Is it an easy fix?”

Eve shrugged, “Should be.”

Both my eyebrows shot up then, “You mean you don’t

know

?”

Eve glared at me and let out an angry huff, “Hey, what kind of girl do you think I am? I’ll have you know you’re the only boy I’ve let inside my void soul like this, thank you very much.”

I laughed at that, “So does that mean I took your void soul’s virginity?”

Eve rolled her eyes so hard I thought they were going to fall out of her head, “Oh for fuck’s sake Adam,

behave

.”

I laughed again, “Please, you love it.”

Eve’s smile was brilliant, and her eyes glowed with pure adoration for me, “I do, honestly I really and truly do.” She confirmed.

She leaned up on her tiptoes then to give me a kiss, passionate, but gentle.

And then the opposite happened; rather than lose myself, it felt like I regained something—like something was being put back into place, a reunion I had no way to quantify.

And then everything was white, and I became myself once again.